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A turtle rider sent us this insane video from Saturday night in Springfield of a drunken clam who had just smashed into a car, driving around the streets of Springfield, with sparks flying everywhere because her front tire had fallen off, and running from the cops:
Just another Saturday night in the God forsaken hellhole known as Springfield.
According to one eye witness she had just come out of Taco Ball, hit a car, and got the hell out of there.
Their slogan is “live outside the bun,” which apparently Drunky McGoo here thought was, “give us all your rum.” Although in her defense, she was way too shitfaced to realize she’d just smashed into a car. Lots of people have one or two beers and don’t know that they’re missing a front tire and their car is on fire.
Shockingly this is not Christina L. Tessier’s first time drinking and driving:
Fortunately for her she’s smart enough to not have a Facebook, or else she hides herself pretty well. So all we have of her is her magnificent arrest shot in hooker shoes:
But if you have pictures of her or social media, we’d love to see it.
Gotta love the way she just got out of the car and assumed the position. Not even the least bit confused. Just another Saturday night in the drunk tank for this 48 year old skagbag.
In all seriousness though, fuck this lady. She could’ve killed a bunch of people. She’s clearly a menace and hopefully she never, ever, ever is allowed to drive a car again.