Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
More often than not when you mix junkies, GoFundMe, Springfield, and Holyoke together, you get a whole lot of ratchet sentagraphs mixed into a hoodrat stew. But I can’t say I’ve ever seen one like this before:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what a philosophy from Westfield State looks like in real life.
Just to review where we’re at:
- She’s an unemployed recovering junkbox who happens to be able to construct sentences together and give you the appearance that she’s not your run of the mill Springfield sewer guppy
- She cannot work right now, but doesn’t explain why
- She’s a “freelance writer” which means she printed out some free business cards from Vistaprint and starts GoFundMe’s for a living
- This is OK because she’s not out panhandling for cash on the road
- She can’t just rant all day on her iPhone though, so she needs a laptop to pursue her career as an unemployed writer who is publishing a book no one will buy
- She needs $750 to pay off excise taxes that she just didn’t feel like paying, or else she will lose her license and won’t be able to driver her “partner’s” car to visit her kid 40 miles away that she likely never pays child support for
As she mentioned, she recently had another GoFundMe in July that raised $2,300, entitled “Addiction-Writing for life.”
So basically she makes money by getting idiots to pay her to write about her career as a junkie instead of getting a job like a normal person. Yet she has plenty of cash for the iPhone 8, and what appears to be an unlimited data plan, since she has it glued to her hand worse than when Turtleboy Jr. discovered Baby Shark on Youtube.
Oh, and here she is taking a selfie at MGM Grand in Springfield.
But she needs you to give her money anyway.
Emily Thickinson fancies herself as some sort of street performer, and is therefore worthy of your donations.
But as someone pointed out, street performers actually provide a service. I can listen to a guy play the saxophone and appreciate the value he brings to the atmosphere and culture of a city. Meanwhile Harriet Beecher Ho wants thousands of dollars so she can write bullshit on a laptop instead of an iPhone, and pay off taxes that she just didn’t feel like paying in the first place in order to pretend that she’s still a good Mom.
She wasn’t trying to hear this sort of criticism from the haters though.
According to her she wasn’t trying to get something for nothing though.
She just wanted you to give her something, and in return you’d get……nothing. But when she eventually types up a PDF file of her junkie memoirs, she’ll send it to you in an email if you’d like. How’s that for return on your investment?
Oh, and did I mention she collects SSI?
So she’s already taking the money that we’ve been forced to contribute to over the years, none of which will be around to collect when we retire because it goes to slamboxes like her instead so they can get paid to overcome their “disease.”
Luckily for her there was a long line of twatstains ready to defend her honor and encourage her to continue living life as a sad, pathetic waste of space.
God I wanna donkey punch all these people right in the cervix. Shutup with your “she’s an amazing woman” bullshit. The only thing amazing about her is her ability to convince you all to donate your hard earned money to a junkie because she knows how a period works.
Take your “only God can judge” bullshit and shove it directly up your taco warmer. “She didn’t ask for our opinion.” Well too bad, because she’s getting it anyway. That’s what happens when you put yourself out there as a lowlife. We judge, and we regret nothing.
“Too much hate.”
Wrong. There can never be enough hate. You’re absolutely right – I HATE swine like this with a burning passion. I HATE how they think something is owed to them for doing nothing. I HATE how they find a way to victimize themselves as an excuse for their own failures.
These people are a scourge. They are the reason that grown adults see nothing wrong with Internet panhandling while publicly admitting that they’re already on the government dole. These people see value in being “nice” rather than being honest, and as a result we have created a society of moochers who think they’re owed something for doing nothing.