Dozens of people in the last 24 hours sent me a lovely video of a gentleman who was seen jerkin the gherkin right outside of Stop n Shop in Springfield Plaza. Disclaimer – you see the pee-pee.
The post has been removed, possibly because of the unfortunate site of his LBC triggered a pornographic algorithm, but according to the OP she saw him staring at her. Someone may wanna tell this douchebag about this thing called “The internet.” It allows you to pick and choose your spank bank arsenal from the privacy of your own home. You can literally choose anything you want, and it doesn’t require driving to the grocery store to find fully clothed strangers as material.
Look, I can understand people who have sex in public. I would imagine there’s a certain thrill that comes along with that, and it’s something you can brag about and retell later on. But this? This is a sadder story than Louis C.K. He didn’t even have a paper towel or anything. When he finally finished all that would’ve been left is a dry cleaning bill and shame.
The worst part about the video is how he reacted once he realized he got caught mid-stroke.
That face you make when the tummy pancakes have to get made at Shaw’s instead of Stop and Shop.
He seemed more annoyed by the inconvenience of temporary blue balls than the fact that he was about to be Internet famous for being the guy who punches the clown in the grocery store parking lot.
Would love to know who this guy is. I’m sure someone recognizes him, but if not maybe a turtle rider out there can deez plates for me.
Hit me up on Facebook at Clarence Woods Emerson or email turtleboysports@gmail.com if you’d like to share.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
72 Comment(s)
A lot of you seem to have issues with anything black. Black people to be more specific. Karen forbid we say anything about your teeny tiny naked mole-rat, “I piss down my balls”, micro peens, you Kyles would be “itching” to commit a hate crime.
Blacks are notorious for this. In prison they call themselves snipers and follow female COs around and jerk it. Just another example of their vibrant culture. The woman should be thanking him for enriching her with his vibrant culture because diversity is our greatest strength or something
He does house calls. He can introduce his penis head to your girlfiend’s guts.
I will never buy a used car again.
I apologize for offending anyone, especially the J£WISH people with my insensitive comments. I was raped when I was a young boy by a circumcised J£WISH man. I recently had another experience with a well endowed J£WISH man. He made me believe in Jesus after an experience I can only call “Out of this World!”
Who knew that bleeding out of the anus could be so wonderful.
I admit the J£WISH men own me, and I love it!
He gave her a look like this was all her fault, lol.
Rachel Rollins said it’s OK to beat off in public in MA. as long as you’re black.
The judge rules he should be castrated in the most medieval way possible. This “man” should also be….. oh guess what it’s spring time. Put him in the stocks for a weekend after his balls get cut off.
I just got a 5.11 tactical space force shirt, it’s badass definitely recommend it.
another fine example of black on black crime.
What song would be most appropriate?
TRICKY TRICKY TRICKY TRICKY!
or
STOP HAMMERTIME!!!
“Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me”
The Vapors ‘Turning Japanese”
I think it died and went to hell, I think it died and went to hell, I really think so.
BEAT IT by Michael Jackson…
I’m all about the homosexual agenda.
People out here doing that stuff and then touching things you touch. Makes me want to gag and puke right on the floor.
Me thinks thou do protest too much.
Not sure, but it looked like he was really enjoying the activity.
Masturbation’s like cooking… it’s always better when someone else does it for you.
Is it masturbation if someone else does it for you???
If you’re paying her… yes.
He parks front and center, broad daylight and sees this one car rolling up on him…
Man was he cocky!
50% of your readers just achieved their 1st erection in decades. They owe you.
Honestly if this is the best content you can cut and paste, you should really spend the weekend with your wife and kids.
This is the black, urban mating call, not to be confused with “flogging the dolphin” which in FL is mammal abuse
I thought it was a brand new dance called the pee wee herman.
Yo your honor. I was just tryin to release da covid. I heard on da internet dat you could release da covid from your body. I only took my mask off because its difficult to breathe wit it on my face. Dats why I turnt away. I knew dat I violated da mask law.
In some places, this behavior will require the bad guy to register as a sex offender. For law enforcement, what could be easier? The video shows the perp in action, shows his face clearly (no mask or gloves), and his guilty reaction when caught. And a license plate. But this is Springfield, and Mass., so maybe they’ll at least wait for the witness/photographer to complain, after she/he/it stops laughing (but where are all the Karens?). Then, if there is a complaint, they’ll have to verify the guy is not an illegal before they can prosecute. But if he’s merely African-American, he’ll still be assumed to vote Dem., which will give him an all but certain free pass. Lastly, there’s the Rachel Rollins factor — it arguably was not a crime of violence (one part of his body might disagree), and even though it happened outside Rollins’s hood, they would let him off just so they wouldn’t have to deal with her. Someone should send the video to the the Daily Mail and all other outlets that offer to pay for newsworthy videos.
TB was shocked it was consensual not like himself and his pedojew’s.
I’m a Brookline Jew and I want to take your guns away.
I’m still banging your mom tonight – stay the fuck downstairs while I am over there.
Just beat it, beat it!
Because the boys pants were half off
What did Michael Jackson say when he saw naked boys at Neverland?
I met Michael Jackson once when I was 9 years old
It was a touching experience.
What was Michael Jackson’s favourite guitar chord?
A minor 😉
Why did Michael Jackson molest young boys?
Becuase his mother always told him dont go around breaking young girls hearts.
Tito, gimme a tissue
Tell me Im not dreaming.
Michael Jackson was a true pioneer and way ahead of his time. He was thoughtful enough to wear a mask when he molested young boys as he didn’t want to get them sick.
Bopping the Bishop: Released on personal recognizance. Not wearing a mask in public: $300 fine.
Potland illegal alien sanctuary city against the constitution no problemo. White lady business owner tries to open her business gets 14k fine and children taken away because she broke the “law”
So, tomorrow Walsh goes first and then Baker with Walsh’s hand up his ass telling us:
The #s are getting better but we’re not there yet despite hospitalizations down to 3%
My 17 circle jerk committee things we’re not out of the woods yet.
I think we need more testing.
Masks are very effective so I can see your sweating in them in July
Social distancing (I HATE THIS FUCKING TERM) is effective
We’ll extend the voluntary lockdown until June 18th.
J£wish politicians, J£wish controlled media, and J£wish doctors have all conspired to take advantage of the opportunity known as Covid-19. The lockdowns in white countries are not about containing the virus, which peaked in the USA in mid March BEFORE the quarantine. It’s about containing people. Crashing the economy puts us at the mercy of the (((government))).
J£ws have done this before. During the HOLODOMOR the J£ws murdered millions of white people through starvation by quarantining them in cities and towns.
But you are the biggest little pussy to ever come down the Pike.
Seriously, kill yourself.
LOL… they are white silly.
Turtleboy you have a wonderful website. Keep up the good work reporting on black crime. God bless you my white brother.
Before CNN gets all hot and bothered, I denounce David Duke’s comment.
Leave him alone lol, he ain’t hurting anybody.
The chicken he’s choking would beg to differ…
Lost it at “punches the clown”
This young man looks frustrated that woman refused to socially distance.
Punching the clown at Stop & Shop in the middle of the day wow, well, at least it didn’t go off and hurt someone. His momma gonna be so proud of her baby boy on Turtleboy !
Guys are so freaking gross. Keep that shit at home. No one wants to see you do this.
What about the wahhhmannn who walk around and take pictures of their asses while inside grocery stores? What about the wahhmanss who stick organic cucumbers up their stench trenches while in the produce sections of grocery stores? Some of those same cucumbers that you have had the pleasure of tasting.
We get it you hate men. That’s entirely your fault! You’re the one who decided to dye your hair purple after gaining 200 + pounds. You wonder why a man wont fuck you! Dont hate us because you’re fat and have purple hair.
You only come out of the wood work to bash all men not realizing that not all men are like this weirdo. You’re brainwashed!
Go away you ugly fat fuck..
STFU you incel basement dweller. Don’t you have a marathon sausage fest with your fellow virgin gamers to attend to?
Keep dreaming every time you eat a cucumber. Nobody is doing that at the grocery store.
seems as if the 1000’s of videos and pictures on the interweb showing such ill behavior proves me to be 100% correct. I’ve seen it several times my self. You would also be surprised at how many wahhhman flick the bean while driving in their cars. You obviously own a Prius because if you did not. you would be able to see for your self.
I know their are other turtle homies who drive trucks either for a living or as daily drivers who can say the same..
All wahhhman are pigs and if you know what you’re doing when you fuck them. They will oink oink oink until the cows come home! Faks yo 100%.. some men are not as gifted as other when it comes down too bringing the pig out of the wahhmansss. Just because those men dont have that gift does not mean that wahhmann are not pigs.
Especially the wahhhman who put on the front that they hate all men. Those wahhman besides single independent mommies (lmfao) are the biggest pigs of any type of wahhhman.
MGTOW = Men Going There Own Way? Sheesh, bud, ever wonder if the problem was you?
Jesus Christ MGTOW, no one does that…and no one wants to see a guy jerking off in his car in the middle of the day out in public. It’s fucking disgusting. Then he goes to put gas in his car using the same dirty, cum dripping hand to pump his gas. He’s a dirty, fucking pig and you’re fucking insane. I wish TB would block you and save us all from your bullshit. Seriously, go the fuck away
Hey MicMacPaddyWhack, speak for yourself.
The rush to cum first is just too hard for some to resist.
Its nice to see some semblance of normalcy returning to the hood rat population.
Meaning they will be moving from lockdown to lock-up.
Matthew Slater hasn’t been the same since Brady left
He told me he needed to take 5 for a cigarette!
We just moved a dozen turkey & bacon subs with mayo to the discount rack.
We have a dozen fresh eclairs. High in protein.
Limerick of the Day
A horny, young perv from Springfield,
Decided he’d like his cock feeled,
But when having a wank
Don’t park at the bank
‘Cause it’s likely that you’ll be revealed.
Dick Scratcher, aged 4 and half inches.
He forgot to wear a mask.
Its dey culture bitch so step off.
I agree wit da head of CDC and dat we need to off white people.
Da boi was mindin his own bidness and wasnt doin nuffin.
Den yo girl be harassin him just because he be black yo.
Dis be strsight up racism and I be prosecutin da white bitch for filming my boi shakin his thang before he do his thang.
Where’s the BBC you mention?
Get Fucked,
Disappointed Finn
Turtle, I’m sure you watch this over and over