Springfield Pyramid Scheme Trap Queen Tries To Destroy Meat Outlet With Viral Post About Browned Celery, Fails Miserably In Attempt To Be Internet Erick Brockabitch

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Saw some chick from Springfield post this gem the other day, which has nearly 1,000 shares and counting:

Alright, first of all, that picture is hilarious. This poor guy can’t catch a break. He’s a small business owner in Springfield. He probably spends half his day dealing with loss prevention and whiny entitled hagbags who ran out of points on their EBT card. And now he’s gotta deal with this fallout from emoji-laden ratcheteers with broken caps locks:

But here’s the problem – he’s not doing anything illegal, and we 1,000% stand with him. There’s nothing worse than when some self absorbed Facebook warrior maliciously attacks a small business when it’s not warranted to do so. From the FDA’s website:

“With the exception of infant formula, the laws that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) administers do not preclude the sale of food that is past the expiration date indicated on the label. FDA does not require food firms to place “expired by”, “use by” or “best before” dates on food products. This information is entirely at the discretion of the manufacturer.”

In other words, we’re living in a free country with a free market in which consumers can choose which food products they wish to purchase. Sure, Vanessa Vargas could easily have just NOT purchased this particular veggie tray, but she just had to be the hero no one asked for. And she just HAD to let everyone know that she DIDN’T purchase this browned celery:

Because we all REALLY give a shit what you DIDN’T buy today. Thank you for letting us know Vanessa. You are THAT important!!

The 90 Meat Outlet did issue a response to this post which was clearly designed to destroy their business’ reputation:

“Your claims that this is illegal could not be further from the truth. I do see however that you found that out for yourself, yet you continue to make that false claim.”

He’s right. This 413 Erin BrockaBitch has been sharing the link from the FDA that we did above, which clearly states that stores don’t have to put “best if used by” stickers on their food:

But she’s so stupid that she doesn’t realize that the link she is sharing shows how stupid she is. Can’t make this stuff up.

Oh, and Vanessa would know a thing or two about scams and healthy eating. By looking at her Facebook page she apparently attempts to make a living off of pyramid schemes. For instance, she can show you how to “shoot for the moon” in just 8 steps:

Just don’t think you won’t be paying for that mug out of your own pocket. Shooting for the moon isn’t free.

She can also take your $99 and turn it into $2,000!! Just ask her how:

Or if you’re interested, you could ask her how you can get your hands on some miracle weight loss shakes at 40% off the price that no one ever buys them at:

There’s nothing worse than these people on your Facebook roster who are trying to sell you something you showed no interest in. If you have turned your Facebook page into a commercial for a pyramid scheme, just deactivate your Facebook and never go on the Internet again. You are a disease and everyone secretly hates you. We understand that you were dumb enough to get conned into this scam, and thus you have a garage full of unsold inventory that Herbalife or Beach Body made you purchase. But trying to drag your friends into the shithole that you accidentally jumped into makes you a sinking dooshcanoe.

Or you can get your mother a bunch of crap she didn’t ask for:

And of course the number one way to tell you’re dealing with a pyramid scheme chump on Facebook, is if they’ve copy and pasted the spam message that the company sent in their daily email onto their Facebook page:

I’m not even kidding. If you have more than one person on your Facebook page who does these pyramid schemes, then you know that they all post the same exact messages every day that they got in the email from corporate. It’s unbearable. And this is the kind of person that is trying to destroy a legitimate business that’s been around in Springfield for over 20 years. A business that gets visited by Mayor Sarno:

A business that helps little old ladies find find the pork chops that will go best with a glass of prune juice and an episode of Matlock:

A business that recently raised $9,200 for Baystate Children’s Hospital:

This is the kind of business that some local pyramid scam artist is trying to shut down because she wanted to play Internet lawyer and become whistle blowing hero. Hey Jimmy, I’ll eat your meat all day long pal. I don’t care what the sticker says either. Just sayin.

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