Hoodrat Heroes

Springfield Sausage Cavern Looking To Buy Food Stamps Agrees To Meet Up With Turtleboy To Buy $240 Worth Of EBT For $155, Gets Mad When We Don’t Show Up

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It might not be Food Stamp Friday yet, but this one was too good not to share. Saw this post on the 413 Sell It All Facebook page:

But please, tell me how rare this stuff is. We have people who literally see nothing even remotely wrong with this, so much so that they feel comfortable doing it on a public Facebook page where pretty much anyone, including the police, can see it. This is how common and accepted this is.

So we decided to hit up this sausage cavern and see if she’d like to buy some food stamps off of us.

Or another bra.

Or some D….. 

Although we had to be careful because as she clearly states, if you are not offering to send her money, she will not be receptive of your message.

But we gave it a shot anyways….

Oh good, they’re for Mom. Because apparently Mom can’t buy her own groceries, so she has to defraud the taxpayers in order to do so. For those of you unfamiliar with Food Stamp Friday, when you’re buying food stamps on Facebook the idea is to save money on your grocery bill. Generally you pay 50-75% of face value for stamps. So if I had $100 worth of excess food stamps I’d sell them for $50-75. Then they can purchase $100 worth of groceries for half the price. The taxpayers pick up the rest, per usual.

We were curious though. Can’t Mom just get her own food stamps? Why does she need her daughter to be her official food stamp brokerage firm on Facebook?

Wait….what? She doesn’t qualify for food stamps because she DOESN’T have “to” much income? But these are exactly the kind of people food stamps exist for. You don’t get food stamps if you DO have “to” much income. It’s the exact opposite.

Then again we’re dealing with a penis fly trap who solicits EBT from strangers on Facebook, so we can’t exactly expect her to be logical.

You can tell this isn’t her first rodeo either. Notice she bargains us down $10. We should’ve started $180. Rookie move on our part.

So we agreed to meet her today in Chicopee, at the home of the Chicopee DCF Grundle Queen, and Eniyah showed us just how skilled she was in the art of black market food stamps transactions:

She makes the seller come to the store with them for verification. Veteran move right there. More than likely she got burned once buying an EBT card off of a ratchet only to find out the card had no funds on it. ONCE. Never again.

Then 9:30 came and she actually came to meet up with us:

You have other things to do? You’re buying food stamps in Chicopee at 10 AM on a Tuesday. Da fuq do you have to do?

Hair appointment, groceries (to use the food stamps), and a party. Shocking that “work” never came up in her things to do on a Tuesday. Never saw that one coming!!

Anyway, if you see Eniyah around and you have some extra food stamps to sell her then feel free to reach out to her, because she’s in the market for some. Just understand that she’s an EBT veteran and she’s gonna talk you down to below market value. Don’t let her push you around!!

15 Comment(s)
  • Blackbolt1
    July 5, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    You can’t make this shizz up and its running RAMPART

  • Tim
    July 3, 2018 at 5:33 pm

    You motorboatin’ son of a bitch!

  • Revrun Fishknuckle
    July 3, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    Tricking a black woman into showing up to buy discounted food stamps and then leaving her hanging in Chicopee is rayciss..

    • Axe me again mouth fuhka I dares you
      July 3, 2018 at 8:04 pm

      Turtles boys would eats a bananas in fronts of a monkey at the zoo. Teasing a black ho with discounts foods stamps when she needing her hairs appointments and gots fried chickens shoppings an a birf dayz parties to goes to man that shit is b cold and shit.

  • JUGGS
    July 3, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    You say EBT I say TIT

    The very least this hooka should earn her keep sucking and fucking. “I have a party to go to” is code for “dates” as in johns for hookers. It’s a shame marijuana is legal in Massachusetts and prostitution isn’t, we could win the prostitution olympics.

  • Equal Opportunity Prison
    July 3, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    Too bad you weren’t an undercover detective.

  • Squirtleboy Jorts
    July 3, 2018 at 1:48 pm

    Bamboozled again!

  • Holy Jugs
    July 3, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    You axed her “she can’t get her own” and she replied “no to much income”. 

    Although a comma and the proper “too” would have made it clear, what she was saying was mom dukes indeed has TOO MUCH INCOME to qualify for stamps that’s why she is trying to buy them. 

    You cannot make this shit up…

  • The Other White Meat
    July 3, 2018 at 1:18 pm

    Tit fuck that skeet bucket and throw her off a building.

    I’m not paying for some chickenhead to get her nappy hair done.

  • vicxh
    July 3, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    First of all, those Gerber servers – yummy yummy in my tummy – chocolate milk!!!

    Second, I would. I would suck all the chocolate milk out of there and then spray my milk on them.

    Third, isn’t it time they put like a pic or require some id for EBT cards? to match the name on the card/

    Fourth – what’s the low down on Elizabeth Passy @Myles mengele

    • revolting
      July 3, 2018 at 1:21 pm

      I just threw up in my mouth

  • Myles Mengle
    July 3, 2018 at 1:04 pm

    Elizabeth “pill head” Passy shouldn’t be shaming anyone. She should stick to stealing her family’s prescription pills and wandering the streets of Palmer.

    • Curious
      July 3, 2018 at 1:20 pm

      Who is that? If you know something share it.

    • Gotcha
      July 3, 2018 at 3:26 pm

      Elizabeth Passy is the fake profile name that was used. So it’s nothing exciting lmao

  • Pontius Pilate
    July 3, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    “Like what?”

    SAVAGE

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