This post was sent in by a reader not too long ago, and oh mylanta, it’s definitely the internet trainwreck of the day, you guys. As much as I want to, I can’t look away.
Whoah. This is a loaded post. So much going on here. First and foremost, I would very much like to know what this newborn infant is doing for work, to be able to earn $2,050.00. I imagine his resume must be pretty limited, so the work can’t be too difficult. Please, sign me up for that. Secondly, what is the maximum amount of times permissible for a hoodrat sperm donor to rob your house in Springfield? Where I’m from, it’s once. I’m curious to know the local limits out there. And lastly, who the fuck looks at this dude,
And decides, “This is the man I want to inseminate me.” He has a Dumb and Dumber haircut. There is no way he holds down a job. His entire aesthetic screams “Never coming back from the trip for a pack of Newports, unless it’s to rob your house.” He looks like the Puerto Rican version of Baby Huey, for fuck’s sake.
But apparently that’s good enough for this ghettobunny slamburger, because he dumped his baby gravy in her and helped produce a child neither one of them are qualified to appropriately raise.
Get higher standards sis, STAT.
And I mean seriously, these two are entirely unqualified. While the bowlcut bandit is out doing shit like this:
Trap Queen Laqueefa is out there crying over him like this:
And their baby is out there working his tiny hands to the bone to earn two-thousand fiddy hard earned dollars for his sperm dollar to steal so his mom can air it all out on Facebook. Poor kid. Look at these two.
Never stood a chance. And air it out they did, because as soon as the post hit, they waged an all out knock down, drag out fight about EVERYTHING for all who pass through to see. I recommend checking it out for yourself, really.
But here are my personal favorite parts.
First Melvin makes it abundantly clear that if you are built like a vending machine, whatever that means, your opinion is irrelevant to him. He clearly has no self-awareness in him, because literally no one gives a fuck what he thinks outside of the guy he buys his dope from. FACKS.
They then lay out all the sordid details of their respective infidelity. Jules denies it, of course. Melvin doesn’t. He seems quite proud. Of course.
I imagine at this point their baby just started wailing for his own future. It’s pretty fucked by all appearance.
Justine suggests the most effective method of collection would be a child support order that this chud is obviously never going to abide by. Wrong.
Melvin still asserts that your opinion does not matter to him. His haircut and ear gauges confirm this.
Jose suggests a GoFundMe. I would not recommend that, Jules. Unless you want a second blog tearing in to you for posting a fundraising campaign because you decided it wise to fuck an abject loser raw dog and bear his bastard child. Because that’s what will happen.
Hernan Ruiz makes a valiant and generous offer to give her an official 4-for-4 special on illegitimate children,
And then dares the most recent baby daddy to rob him and his car cupholder full of guns. How Springfield.
Tricky Minage still can’t believe things turned out this way.
And Hakim asked a question I’ll gladly answer: Everyone. Everyone could’ve seen this coming.
Jules vows to put her loser sperm donor back in jail….again, thus totally affirming his complete lack of merit as a father,
While his sister voices an unusual level of knowledge regarding their oral sex habits.
And baby mama tries in vain to guilt him with the baby that he clearly was never going to give a shit about anyway.
Get used to it, kid. You’re going to be a pawn for a long, long time.