Hoodrat Heroes

Starving New Bedford Couple Looking For Thanksgiving Handouts Ask For Cheetos, Ice Cream, French Fries, Soda And Pizza To Be Delivered To Them 


A New Bedford woman named Kayara Souto posted today on a Southcoast Facebook yard sale group asking community members to come together and chip in for a good cause – her. But she wasn’t looking for money for an upcoming surgery, or Christmas gifts for the crotch fruits, she was looking for one thing and one thing alone – food. Really, really healthy food.

Ya know, the basics – Dorito’s, french fries, pizza, ice cream, cheez-its, soda, cheetos, etc. Oh, and delivery is preferable, because God forbid she put any sort of effort in. Please hurry though, because she’s starving to death.

She’s also recently engaged, but apparently her fiance doesn’t work or earn any sort of income and the poor gal has to resort to begging strangers to hand deliver orange soda and stuffed crust pizza to their place in New Bedford.

He’s a little busy and has his hands full. Plus, who has time to buy groceries when you’re perpetually celebrating 420 and you blew all your money on weed?

It’s not like the old days when he used to save France from the terrorists.

Brandon Harrison is just not that guy anymore.

I remember a time when able bodied adults had these things called “pride” and “shame” that prevented them from going on Facebook and asking people to hand deliver bags of frozen food to their house for free. Ya know, because it encouraged people to be self sufficient and provide for themselves. Luckily we got rid of those things and enabled a society of mooches to shamelessly freeload on Facebook and not think twice about it. And thank God we shut down private businesses, cancelled everything, and closed schools to protect people like Kayara from coming in contact with a virus that could pose a threat to her as a result of her healthy eating habits and good life choices. Great country we have here.



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67 Comment(s)
  • Schmoe me@gmail.com
    American Girl
    November 24, 2020 at 10:20 am

    I am going to deliver her Lay’s chips, but first I need to know if she prefers Salt ‘n’ Vinegar, or Ranch flavor. And as far as soda, should I bring her Pepsi, Coke or Mountain Dew? I wish she had been more specific.

    • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
      Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
      November 24, 2020 at 5:03 pm

      The answer to all of the above is “Yes.”

  • Unemployment line
    November 23, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    I don’t have a problem with people being overweight, people have their reasons. My problem is she has the balls to go and ask for various snacks and soda for free instead of actually working and buying it herself. Get a job asshat

  • Monica's Bucketass
    November 23, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    How’d you like that Christmas card couple sitting on your mantle?

  • Nacho Ninja
    November 23, 2020 at 9:04 pm

    That trough hog got fatter in each photo. How do you get her to blow you? Piece of cake!

  • Fat
    November 23, 2020 at 8:36 pm

    I bet the stench coming out from between her rolls smells like sun baked day old wet dog food.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      November 23, 2020 at 9:16 pm

      5 day old dead collie in the Nevada desert

      • Joe's Leg Hair
        November 24, 2020 at 9:33 am

        Dead baby, shallow grave, level of stank

  • Top turtle fan
    November 23, 2020 at 7:07 pm

    To paraphrase Dean Warner ” FAT, STUPID AND FAT, IS NO WAY TO GO THROUGH LIFE….”

    • That's Original...
      November 23, 2020 at 8:41 pm

      …said no one.


  • G Ber
    Sleepy Joe Pedophile
    November 23, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    You just know that their tv remote is lost somewhere between her stomach flaps and It changes the channel every time she reaches for the Cheetos

  • Hate Fatsos
    November 23, 2020 at 6:41 pm

    If you disemboweled this worthless subhuman dumpsterslut FAT piece of shit bucket of lard over a bathtub, how many tubs would you end up filling up? FAT TRASH BITCH!

  • MCG, Fat Felonious Fartbag, Esq.
    November 23, 2020 at 6:39 pm

    This bitch gots to be mental, am I right?

    I mean…who in they right mind go around askin’ muthafuckas to give ’em free shi….


  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    November 23, 2020 at 6:02 pm

    Nowhere in all America will you find more patrician-like houses, parks and gardens more opulent, than in New Bedford. Actual cannibals stand chatting at street corners; savages outright; many of whom yet carry on their bones unholy flesh.

  • whatevuh
    November 23, 2020 at 5:50 pm

    If she does have to go out, hope they have a 4×4 she would need a 4WD to haul that fat ass around

  • Uncle Peckerhead
    November 23, 2020 at 5:40 pm

    I thought that b&w 420 photo was Hunter Biden! By the way Diabetty, fruits n veggies are not French fries and Apple pie!

  • Ed Gein
    November 23, 2020 at 5:26 pm

    Guess there is someone out there for everyone.

  • hartf811
    Filthy Animals
    November 23, 2020 at 5:03 pm

    Yes, the overstresses bellybutton barbell certainly made you beautiful.
    Imagine the choices.
    Tat up?
    Shave the side of your head?
    Put a hoop through your lip?
    Lose 75% of your body weight?
    Pierce the old bellybutton (that she probably hasn’t seen outside of a reflection in years. )
    That is the ticket for looking beautiful.
    Cheetos please!

  • george costanza
    The Honorable Elihu Smalls Esq.
    November 23, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    Spaulding! This calls for the old Billybaroo to take this one down….oh Billy,Billy,Billy

  • Highrise hater
    November 23, 2020 at 4:39 pm

    What has been seen cannot be unseen! Please put an extra large ocean state tarp over that!

  • Highrise hater
    November 23, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    What has been seen cannot be unseen! For the love of god get a tarp to put over that!

  • Guinea Geisha
    November 23, 2020 at 4:33 pm

    It’s hard to look hungry when you resemble a popped can of Pillsbury biscuits.

  • 80s Video Game
    November 23, 2020 at 4:18 pm

    Super Mario digs heifers. Who knew.

  • hartf811
    Fat Bastard
    November 23, 2020 at 4:18 pm

    Get in my belly

  • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
    Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
    November 23, 2020 at 4:15 pm

    Biddeman! Fetch my elephant gun.


    What do you mean ammo is $20 a round?

    Alright, a harpoon then.

  • It's not fat
    November 23, 2020 at 4:10 pm

    Maybe she is pregnant and that food is to satisfy her cravings? Nah…ton of fun.

  • Orion
    November 23, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    Few things as bad as a picky, begging fat ass. I bet all that fucking food is JUST FOR HER, too.

  • BucketNutz
    November 23, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    Send her a dozen donuts every day for the next year. Guarantee she eats every single one.
    She won’t see 2022.

  • Peter Dautel
    November 23, 2020 at 4:03 pm

    Now I know how Herman Melville got his inspiration….

    For both the whale, and Queequeg….

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      November 23, 2020 at 5:37 pm

      Ubiquitous in space and in time, the leviathan can appear at all sites, defying all spears, springing unexpectedly back to life. No one can stop the creature. Get her some Doritos for God’s sake!

  • Milo
    November 23, 2020 at 3:52 pm

    Alex Trebec: “420 all day”
    Me: what is Kayara’s weight

    • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
      Sean Connery (RIP)
      November 23, 2020 at 4:11 pm

      You’ll rue the day you crossed me Trebek!!!

  • Liz Warren
    November 23, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    Joe Biden is a racist.
    He picked a member of every race to be in his cabinet except for American Indian which is me.
    Dam, I should have tsken the dentures out when servicing senile Joe. I figured dementia Joe wouldnt notice.

  • Jack Horner
    November 23, 2020 at 3:41 pm

    Without question, they got to be two of the laziest White people alive. “Hey you! Come here and give us some free shit!” I almost admire their balls with this angle, the sad part is there’s more than one Rube out there who’s willing to drive over and hand someone with Morbid Obesity some Cool Ranch Doritos.

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    November 23, 2020 at 3:35 pm

    She needs to fall asleep and hibernate.

    Come back out in the spring.

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Ho Li Phuk
      November 23, 2020 at 6:12 pm

      She get turned away from Chinese Buffet, right Lee?

      • capone181
        Lee Ho
        November 23, 2020 at 7:47 pm

        Ho Li Phuk,
        she get free fortune cookie and sent home, no FOOD.

  • Mark Grace - 1B
    November 23, 2020 at 3:27 pm

    Now THAT is a slump buster! Was she starving before or after the gaudy tats she got? I wonder how much the extra ink cost.

  • North of the Border
    November 23, 2020 at 3:18 pm

    Bitch doesn’t need a heart, she needs a concrete pump. I’m guessing her A1C is somewhere around 5000, and her blood has pretty much crystallized.

    Said it before, saying it again: this chick’s spirit animal is fried chicken.

  • bigdaddy
    November 23, 2020 at 3:15 pm

    The hell with pizza send that fat slob a salad

    • North of the Border
      November 23, 2020 at 3:19 pm

      Don’t bother. She’d just drown it in about 4 bottles of ranch.

      She probably thinks gravy is a food group.

      • Guinea Geisha
        November 23, 2020 at 4:28 pm

        Gravy’s her blood type.

  • Ahab
    November 23, 2020 at 3:09 pm

    Dang Ahab, we have a catch and release order on the whales down here. And stop catching them with Cheetos and ice cream bait.

  • Dr. Nowzawa
    November 23, 2020 at 3:04 pm

    Kayaks – You disgust me

  • foleyworld
    November 23, 2020 at 3:03 pm

    This post proves ‘ There’s someone for everyone’

  • The Unknown Comic
    November 23, 2020 at 3:01 pm

    Insert fat girl joke here..

    • The Nuge
      November 23, 2020 at 3:07 pm

      Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

    • Excitable Boy
      November 23, 2020 at 3:19 pm

      Yo mama’s so fat that the National Weather Service names all of her farts

  • Karen of All Karens
    November 23, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    I have always found it interesting when people say that have no money for food but they post pictures of themselves with their $1,200 I-phone which clearly has an unlimited data plan to go with it.

    Priorities I guess.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    November 23, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    Someone please donate some ricin-tampered food to these 2 slobs.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    November 23, 2020 at 2:40 pm

    free piece of advice: If you take a picture in front of your refrigerator and realize you’re 3x the size of said refrigerator, you don’t have many years left to live.
    So you might as well try to cash in on some free tombstone pizzas from strangers on the internet.

    • Just Say'n
      November 23, 2020 at 2:58 pm

      No chance of her starving anytime soon.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      November 23, 2020 at 4:45 pm

      Will her tombstone be made of pepperoni or feta and olive?

  • Rockets Redglare
    November 23, 2020 at 2:40 pm

    I’ll gladly donate to Pork u Pine a month supply of Slim Fast…

  • Lmao
    November 23, 2020 at 2:31 pm

    Dude your whole business model is to ask people to provide for you because you won’t work.

    Also I was out and about this weekend. Tons of people packing every store and restaurant I saw. Even bars and breweries. You’re not locked down. Stop pretending you’re oppressed.

    • Barry Lakin
      November 23, 2020 at 2:43 pm

      What planet do you live on you retard? Bars and restaurants are going out of business left and right.

      • randiguy2006
        November 23, 2020 at 2:59 pm

        Restaurants are doing fine around me. They dont have to pay any waitstaff and are making killing off of take-out.

        Dont fall for the lame stream Fake News!

        If they go out of business its because they can’t adapt. Thats capitalism at its finest.

        • Rod Ramsey
          November 23, 2020 at 3:23 pm

          Fuck the waitstaff that’s out on their tits though right? Fuck off the bartender has become extinct and it’s a shame.

          • randiguy2006
            Wiatresses LOL
            November 23, 2020 at 5:39 pm

            Things change. Get a different job. Its not like waitressing is a career.

        • Lmao
          November 23, 2020 at 4:01 pm

          I live in Worcester. Water Street and Green Street hopping all weekend. Indoor dining included.

        • Barry Lakin
          November 23, 2020 at 10:16 pm

          So when a small restaurant only has 10 tables and Baker says they can only use 4, they are going to be able to sustain that? Any retard can figure that one out. Fucking idiot

  • Boston Irish
    Hunter Biden
    November 23, 2020 at 2:31 pm

    What a fat slob, tryin not to puke

  • randiguy2006
    Right on!
    November 23, 2020 at 2:30 pm

    Yeah instead you should copy and and paste Facebook posts and beg for donations from your basement. Thats “real” work.


  • Metros Empty Nutsack
    November 23, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    I’d trade wifey in for that newer model.Would be a major upgrade.

  • bill fleming
    November 23, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    Lady food is not your friend.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    November 23, 2020 at 2:24 pm

    This has to be a joke, right? I mean seriously, who is that fucking stupid? But then again, she could be that fucking stupid

  • Flock Of Seagulls
    November 23, 2020 at 2:21 pm

    Hell on earth.

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