Nudniks WTF

NH Jail Superintendent Bruce Pelkie Loves Two Things: Impersonating A Police Officer And Rocking Jorts

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Strafford County jail is back in the news this week. I use the term “jail” lightly because SCDOC is a notorious Care Bear correctional facility where people get individual treatment plans and since the guys being housed there are typically serving less than a year they have a “least restrictive” mentality. I’d be willing to bet that they get to wipe their asses with quilted Charmin and get read Goodnight Moon before lights out.
Look at this place. It looks like a post office.
Strafford has been featured before on TBS, the most recent article being about the Justin Beiber/Chinstrap McGee duo that robbed a Rochester convenience store and defended their rap careers on the RPD Facebook page. Then there was the correctional officer that was caught smuggling heroin into the building at the start of his shift a couple of months ago.
Who’s the man at the top? That would be Bruce Pelkie, Superintendent of shenanigans.
Even though Bruce has been on medical/administrative leave for a year now (for an undisclosed reason), that doesn’t mean he’s not down for a good time. In fact, I’m pretty sure all of his time off has driven him to insane boredom because he got himself bagged in January for impersonating a police officer on the Everett Turnpike.
When I first heard about it, I was under the impression that Deputy Dewey was in a state issued vehicle trying to pull someone over. That would make a tiny bit of sense, right? Nope. The car that was decked out with blue and red emergency lights? That was his personal vehicle. It all seems pretty bizarre. There wasn’t a traffic violation or emergency incident so its not like he went rogue as a good Samaritan or de-escalated a hostage situation out of the goodness of his heart. It seems as though Pelkie was just bored and fucking around. If there had been a dire need for him to take action it wouldn’t have been written in a log, the police reports or news articles?
So his personal car has all that shiz? Maybe he installed them himself? If you srcoll through his Facebook page you can see that he’s pretty big into fixing/rebuilding cars.
car car2 car3 car4
He’s also big into wearing jorts and Tevas which is enough for me to question his integrity. I’m sorry but you really cant trust someone who sports a Kentucky leisure suit in broad daylight. Have you ever met someone who wears mandals that doesn’t rub you the wrong way?
This is all I can think of:
Bonus point for the creep shack in the background.
So the timeline of this debacle is what really caught my interest because the lag between the incident and him actually getting charged for it is absurd. This all went down on January 2nd. JANUARY. As in still-feeding-NYE-hangovers-with-cheeseburgers-and-regret, January. The warrant wasn’t even signed until March 30th and then it took another month to charge him on April 20th? If I slapped some lights on my mom-mobile and tried to pull over some d-bags on 213 you know damn well that I’d be arrested on the spot, have my car towed, would process at LPD and would have already been in and out of Lawrence District Court. (And I would likely be serving a 3-5 year sentence because the only people LDC let’s walk from the court house are drug dealers and slags that overdose in Family Dollar. Yeah, I’m talking about you Mandy McGowan.)
Not Bruce. Bruce got to straight chill for over 3 months while his paperwork was getting dicked around. What’s better than the Springtime breeze, Wrangler cutoffs and dad jazz while on paid leave?
Brucy, You got some ‘splainin to dooo!



14 Comment(s)
  • Bruce
    June 16, 2017 at 1:06 am

    It is quite obvious that you have very little information, as well as several incorrect facts regarding this incident. I would explain further, But I fear it will fall on deaf ears as I doubt you have the intellectual capacity to really understand any of it. However, you do have the Defamation of Character down pat.
    The charge was not impersonating an Officer, it was Personating an Officer. I will let you look that up so you will be able to do something useful. Also look up RSA 30B subsection 25 and 26. Just type the RSA into google, you may be surprised what you bring up! Good Luck!

  • Small Penis!
    May 8, 2017 at 11:58 am

    Not much you can do for someone that feels wholly incompetent for a small penis. They feel that they need to express their “manhood” in some other way. This guy feels the need to install “cop” lights in his car, and drive around PRETENDING to be a cop. Probably had a muffler that made a racket, because it made him “hard”.

    How about that supposed “disability” that he’s on now for over a year? Milking it for all it’s worth?

    Now that TurtleBoy is on it, let’s see how fast you get your sorry ass back to work? Pathetic wretch!!!

  • BobnMic
    May 8, 2017 at 2:56 am

    This is another guy that does NOT belong in the CJ system at all. I think maybe either MVTBae got me wrong or someone else did the last time on this similar content. “I’m a Cunt” so it was said in response. So anyway that being said I’m no James Joyce, Virginia Woolf or currently noted John Grisham by any stretch. Not even close. No Ciiiiigar significado. Just me. Bob. The dummy. With an opinion.

    But anyway no excuses for my last posts that were less than well received last MVTB post regarding this type of stuff. I’ll just simply continue to move on by saying nice work in here and keep it up. You are thorough and it shows and I think riders appreciate it. And I thank you for that effort underappreciated by most I am sure.

    • May 8, 2017 at 3:15 am

      Definitely wasn’t me Bob! You’re no cunt in my book!

      • BobnMic
        May 8, 2017 at 3:47 am

        Thank you very much for that Merrimack Valley Turtle Bae. It clears shit up and means a lot that you cleared it up.

        So again great job and keep them rolling. You, NSTB, STTG, Fiesty and rest of the writers is why this blog is growing like it has. It truly is fun to watch a business grow like this and see it from the start. I could allsorts of get deep on the American dream and the spirit and all of that but that would sound like I’m running for some office or something. Which I am not. So for now I’ll just leave it at this. Rock on with your bad self!!!!!

    • BobnMic
      May 8, 2017 at 3:33 am

      Not by most I’m sayin’ maybe just some. Which is par for the course so it seems. Look at the shit TB gets.

  • suckmyd
    May 7, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    everything else is this lame country is fake why not have losers like this driving around harassing people?

    May 7, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    The high majority of Correctional workers are rejects who don’t have ANY SKILLS and very little smarts. But they have this fetish of locking people up. If there is trouble they use gas or peperspray, they then put on couch cushions and shields. They then come in 10 deep on one guy, all cops have stun guns and clubs.

    Many beat their wives, are drunks, pill poppers, steroid junkies and usually have 2 ex wives on average.

    It is more common than you think where a correctional officer pulls people over. We had one in Shorey who got caught pulling women over asking them to show him their tots and he would not give them a ticket.

    Sick bastards. They can usually retire with 80% pay after 20 yrs. Full health benefits.

    • Agent Smith
      May 7, 2017 at 10:22 pm

      Kevin Lynch and his ilk beat an innocent man to death with a golf club. Kevin Lynch only looks like he swelled up from steroids, but we all know it’s from a diet high in fat and David’s jizz. Kevin Lynch retired on the tit of the taxpayer on MassHealth and a case of the “nerves” on SSDI and hardly worked a day in his life. Too bad Kevin only took a pork shiv in his ass during shower time in the joint instead of a metal one in his brain box. Fuck off and die you fat Irish prick.

    • Sterling Turtle Rider
      May 8, 2017 at 12:52 am

      Thus speaks the voice of experience from ol’ Kevvy

    • Oh, Kevin Lynch, you fat stud!
      May 8, 2017 at 11:46 am

      Oh, Kevin, please stop with the holier-than-thou attitude! You know you want to rub your dick and balls all over this guy’s bald coconut! You’ll both love it!!!

      Maybe TBS can be used as a “dating site” for individuals?

      GFY, Kevin!

  • FatFingr Lou
    May 7, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Dear kindly Sergeant Pelkie,
    You gotta understand,
    It’s just our bringin’ up-ke
    That gets us out of hand.
    Our mothers all are junkies,
    Our fathers all are drunks.
    Golly Moses, natcherly we’re punks!

  • The Goose
    May 7, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    They *might* have taken a while to arraign him because they wanted to confirm that he did not have any LE authority?

    Just like MA, I’m sure NH has obscure laws and statutes that grant random individuals varying degrees of LE powers.

    But even then- shouldn’t that have taken about 10 minutes of research?

  • John
    May 7, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    Fake cops are bad enough. Install blue lights in their private vehicle, it’s more than a lethal combo.

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