Uncle Turtleboy / May 7, 2017 / 14 Comments
NH Jail Superintendent Bruce Pelkie Loves Two Things: Impersonating A Police Officer And Rocking Jorts
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Strafford County jail is back in the news this week. I use the term “jail” lightly because SCDOC is a notorious Care Bear correctional facility where people get individual treatment plans and since the guys being housed there are typically serving less than a year they have a “least restrictive” mentality. I’d be willing to bet that they get to wipe their asses with quilted Charmin and get read Goodnight Moon before lights out.
Look at this place. It looks like a post office.
Strafford has been featured before on TBS, the most recent article being about the Justin Beiber/Chinstrap McGee duo that robbed a Rochester convenience store and defended their rap careers on the RPD Facebook page. Then there was the correctional officer that was caught smuggling heroin into the building at the start of his shift a couple of months ago.
Who’s the man at the top? That would be Bruce Pelkie, Superintendent of shenanigans.
Even though Bruce has been on medical/administrative leave for a year now (for an undisclosed reason), that doesn’t mean he’s not down for a good time. In fact, I’m pretty sure all of his time off has driven him to insane boredom because he got himself bagged in January for impersonating a police officer on the Everett Turnpike.
When I first heard about it, I was under the impression that Deputy Dewey was in a state issued vehicle trying to pull someone over. That would make a tiny bit of sense, right? Nope. The car that was decked out with blue and red emergency lights? That was his personal vehicle. It all seems pretty bizarre. There wasn’t a traffic violation or emergency incident so its not like he went rogue as a good Samaritan or de-escalated a hostage situation out of the goodness of his heart. It seems as though Pelkie was just bored and fucking around. If there had been a dire need for him to take action it wouldn’t have been written in a log, the police reports or news articles?
So his personal car has all that shiz? Maybe he installed them himself? If you srcoll through his Facebook page you can see that he’s pretty big into fixing/rebuilding cars.
He’s also big into wearing jorts and Tevas which is enough for me to question his integrity. I’m sorry but you really cant trust someone who sports a Kentucky leisure suit in broad daylight. Have you ever met someone who wears mandals that doesn’t rub you the wrong way?
This is all I can think of:
Bonus point for the creep shack in the background.
So the timeline of this debacle is what really caught my interest because the lag between the incident and him actually getting charged for it is absurd. This all went down on January 2nd. JANUARY. As in still-feeding-NYE-hangovers-with-cheeseburgers-and-regret, January. The warrant wasn’t even signed until March 30th and then it took another month to charge him on April 20th? If I slapped some lights on my mom-mobile and tried to pull over some d-bags on 213 you know damn well that I’d be arrested on the spot, have my car towed, would process at LPD and would have already been in and out of Lawrence District Court. (And I would likely be serving a 3-5 year sentence because the only people LDC let’s walk from the court house are drug dealers and slags that overdose in Family Dollar. Yeah, I’m talking about you Mandy McGowan.)
Not Bruce. Bruce got to straight chill for over 3 months while his paperwork was getting dicked around. What’s better than the Springtime breeze, Wrangler cutoffs and dad jazz while on paid leave?
Brucy, You got some ‘splainin to dooo!
Tags BARRINGTON BRUCE PELKIE dover EVERETT HIGHWAY IMPERSONATING AN OFFICER JORTS new hampshire STRAFFORD JAIL