Hoodrat Heroes

Stretchmarks Sanchez Begs The Brockton Hub To Pay For Her “Niece’s” Back To School Clothes Because She Only Got $100 From Parents And It Turned Into The Ratchetpalooza You Knew It Would

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This is Titiana (Titi) Martins from Brockton:

And she lit the Brockton Hub on fire yesterday!!

It all began with this ratchtacular sentagraph begging strangers for cash for…..something….

So from what I understand, she’s raising money for an unnamed child, who does not belong to her, because the child’s parents “only” gave her $100 for back to school shopping. Keep in mind, school started a week ago.

She’s also looking for clothing donations, which she totally WILL NOT sell on Facebook….

She of course cannot chip in herself because she just got back from a trip. In addition to the back to school shopping for the unnamed girl she always wants to throw another unnamed person a birthday party. And of course all the money will go directly to her bank account and we have to trust that this complete stranger will in fact disperse the money how she claims she will. Naturally you can find her on cashapp by her user name, “sendmethatschmoney.”

Shutup and take my money!!

Obviously we all know that all donated money will really be going to the Hennessy and Blunts foundation so that she can ditch her crotch fruits back at the section 8 piss pad she calls home, and head out on the town for a night of clubbing with girls while figuring out which flat brimmed dooshnozzle with the most open bench warrants will be the next to impregnate her.

Get it girl!!

As you can imagine, this post went over like a job application at the DTA office. But Tits Martinez was there to fire back at all of the critics…..

Pro-tip Belly Button Bonilla – if you’re gonna try to solicit cash from strangers, don’t be a sarcastic twat to people who rightfully criticize your Internet panhandling.

Her story kept changing too. Turns out it wasn’t really her niece she was raising money for….

Just a friend’s kid. Because begging for cash on the Brockton Hub for someone else’s back to school shopping a week after school began is a perfectly normal thing to do.

Don’t be telling her to get a job neither, because she ain’t about that life fam….

Even though her posts have solicited thousands of comments, she has responded to every single one of them…..

She must be pregnant again because she hasn’t seen a period in months!!

When someone pointed out that this was likely to end up on Turtleboy Breasts Rodriguez wasn’t really fazed by it….

I have no idea what she’s saying at this point, but it sounds important. All I know is it appears as if this “niece” is going to vocational high school and is enrolled in the nurse training program. She has to wear scrubs to school sometimes (a ratchet’s wet dream) which cost $5.99 a piece at Walmart. And she wants her to be fresh to def on the first day of school, even though school started last week.

So what did she need to get after spending the $100 she got from her parents?

Bras and socks of course. Because it’s up to the Brockton Hub to make sure your friend’s kid has chest support during school hours.

She also says that she has money in savings but she’s not willing to spend it on her “niece” because “I’ve given her enough,” so naturally it’s time for the Brockton Hub to kick in their fair share…

“Is a 1, 5 or 10 really gonna break y’all.”

Listen Boobies Figueroa, $10 will not break me. I’m just hesitant to give the money to you because you seem ratchet as fuck, and you’re not really doing a good job of convincing me that you’re trustworthy. Generally telling people that they can afford to cough up the cash, therefore they should, isn’t a good marketing strategy either.

Oh, and if you’re gonna beg other people to pay for your niece’s shit, maybe you shouldn’t call yourself “grown independent”

Because the only thing that’s grown is the diameter of your cobra cavern.

Then there was this….

I’ve read that a bunch of times and I’m no closer to understanding the 28 points she’s trying to address there. All I know is DCF sounds like it’s in the picture, which is the least surprising news ever.

Oh, and if you’re gonna solicit cash from people for your “niece,” maybe don’t brag about how your kids have more shit than their kids….

Or accuse people of being the devil if they choose not to donate or ask valid questions….

And don’t accuse her kid or herself of being a CNA…..

She don’t be wiping asses….

Of course anyone who knows anything about nursing knows that wiping asses is a routine part of the job for trained nurses, and not some menial task given to grunts. But degrading the profession of nursing while trying to raise money for your niece to get nursing clothes seems like a bold strategy.

Some people did try to defend her, because….Brockton:

But unfortunately for Stretchmarks Sanchez, she didn’t pick up on who was friend and who was foe….

The Brockton Hub is my spirit animal.

Other people defending her pointed out that you should just keep your mouth shut if you had a problem with this shady panhandling, and “good ridden” to those who didn’t….

Girl, your name is Charity. You were born to collect handouts.

The flat brimmed hats, the tattooes, the undue sense of satisfaction, the skeleton pitbull shirt, the XXXL jorts. It’s all so Brockton it hurts.

Better watch out though haterz……

You don’t wanna see what happens when C-Section Santiago comes out to play!!

Shockingly this is not her first time begging for free shit on the Hub either. Like that time her 13 year old son (who has PTSD, ADHD, and a variety of other things that are actually just failed parenting in a bottle) was expelled from school because he assaulted a female teacher, which she said she could “care less” about. She was more worried about him getting kicked out of the Brockton Boy’s Club, because they basically provide free babysitting for her:

Perfectly normal for your kid to get expelled from school at the age of 13. It was obviously the teacher’s fault for trying to restrain your kid during one of his violent episodes. Sounds like the kind of people I want to donate my hard earned money to.

She’s now promoting her son’s next venture in life….

Of course Mom supports him dropping out of school to become a rapper. Perfectly normal. This chick is a Turtleboy gold mine. Where have you been all my life? The rap itself is just the icing on the cake….

New Turtleboy Live opening songs!!

Anyway, it doesn’t look like her fundraiser was the smashing success she thought it would be. So she offered these parting words for the haterz…

I love the Brockton Hub!!

17 Comment(s)
  • Dave
    September 5, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    Looks like a good spunk sponge.

  • Turd Reversalist
    September 5, 2018 at 12:37 am

    She’d look good strapped to the naughty girl sawhorse, her cheeks pulled back with gorilla tape, allowing for a more complete spelunking and spunkspackling of the busted balloon knot crap cavern.
    Gotta get that quick nut outta the way with a throat coating batch of baby batter first, then get the long, slow groove on in the dirt chute.
    Keep those shoes on, the ones with the ankle strap. Sexy AF.
    I’ll leave $10 under the key for the padlocks.

    • Wabbitt
      September 5, 2018 at 4:33 pm

      Pretty sure she’s aged (and pants sized) out of the House of Many Cums a long time ago.

  • Fo Sho
    Not wid my dick
    September 4, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    The stench coming from that honey pot would floor a mule.

  • No shame
    September 4, 2018 at 7:52 pm

    I admit, I would pound that bitch hard. Id be all over her like flies on shit. The only problem is plan b is pricey, you know that hoe aint on any birth control.

    • Fo Sho
      Not wid my dick
      September 4, 2018 at 8:50 pm

      Won’t make any difference if ya hit the hole she deserves…. no babies in the starfish……..

  • Red Pill
    September 4, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    White people literally have their tax dollars robbed from them to keep these people alive. If you ever wondered about Trayvon or Michael Brown, take a look her kid, “The Real Martyn.”
    Future TBS headline: He wuz a good boi, he didn’t do nuffin.

  • Thorazine
    September 4, 2018 at 7:30 pm

    Sycophantic? Of who? The neighborhood blue magic dealer? Did he kiss the monster’s ass? Just give him me everyday and he’ll cause you know more problems!

  • dball31211
    September 4, 2018 at 5:22 pm

    How does a 4yo get ptsd?

    • Concerned Canadian
      September 4, 2018 at 9:27 pm

      The mother read her own short stories to her son. Very distressing verbal assault.

      Also, that kids not out of the woods yet on the sycophantism, that develops especially at a later age. #lookout

  • Vadgonical Smellboef Babalonia
    September 4, 2018 at 5:19 pm

    Can you imagine the smells 🙁

  • Naval Cavity
    September 4, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    FORMER Dunkin Donuts worker….Least surprising thing ever 

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 4, 2018 at 3:50 pm

    This floppy-titted land-whale wins the ‘putzlicker prize’ for her command of whichever language she chose to type with her mouth full (we remember not to speak with our mouths full). She should be asking for a donation of a primary school level English book. “Psychophantic”…top LOL for that misuse of a word. Facebook kills the soul and sucks the grammar and punctuation out of ones brain, apparently. Im broke….send free shit…suckas

  • Dr. Sang Froid
    September 4, 2018 at 3:03 pm

    Thank God her son was only ALMOST diagnosed as sycophantic.

    • Fo Sho
      Not wid my dick
      September 4, 2018 at 8:54 pm

      Her son has the same do as the Mousekateer impersonator that was in the Herald today………… cut his fro with a hatchet.

  • GraftonHillGirl
    September 4, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    At least it wasn’t a GFM? LOL

  • Yuck
    September 4, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    Her fucking navel looks like an exploded anus. Fucking gross!!! Thank goodness for doggystyle; at least whatever fucked-up dude she can find won’t have to look at that shit.

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