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The “Communities United Collective” shared this picture on their Facebook page today:
How dare Councilor Gaffney get a new hot water tank from a plumber that was NOT approved by the hippies. LOL. This is what we’re dealing with people. Juvenile nonsense like this. These people think they’re boycott is actually working. We’ve seen what they’re all about at this DOJ meetings. If they don’t like you, they will bully you and yell over you, rather than simply agreeing to disagree. Of course we all know that the Circlejerk has no money (aside from the money they’ve gotten from the city through illegal channels) and they weren’t going to these places anyway. Regardless, no small business owner should have to put up with this harassment.
If you want your business to be seen by everyone who matters in the Worcester area, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can get you aboard the Turtleboy Sports Revolution. We will go to bat for you in ways that the Telegram and Gazette can only dream of doing.
So we URGE you to give our sponsors your business whenever you can. Here are the Turtleboy sponsors for June.
Located right on Water Street, Rocky’s Food and Spirits is a brand new restaurant in the heart of the canal district. The food is top notch, and you can’t beat the atmosphere. With $5 martinis and Rocky burgers, you can have a great time and leave with a full belly for pennies on the dollar. Check out Worcester’s newest bar and grille and make sure to tell them Turtleboy sent you.
Worcester has a semi-pro football team that for whatever reason people aren’t going to see. And they just happen to be really, really good. This year they’ll be defending their Eastern Football League Championship at Worcester State University for five home games. If you get your tickets through the Turtleboy Sports link, you can get special ticket packages available for single game, and season ticket packages. Come watch some quality football in your backyard, because let’s be honest – the Red Sox suck and we need something to entertain us in July and August.
This bar is the most classic Worcester bar in town. It’s a neighborhood joint with some amazing food, located on scenic West Boylston Street. It’s been around forever, and the clientele there is right up Turtleboy’s alley. Try the pastrami sandwich when you go there – it comes highly recommended. We couldn’t be happier to have such an authentic Worcester watering hole and eatery join the TBS Revolution.
Located on Mill Street with a breathtaking view of spectacular Coes Pond, this new restaurant founded by Mike Birkbeck is a Worcester gem. We’ve been trying to get these guys on board the Turtle since they opened because the food is simply that good. If your food doesn’t pass the Turtleboy Jr. challenge, then you’re not allowed to advertise with us. I highly recommend the Chicken Cordon Bleu. I don’t know what they put into it, but I’ve never tasted anything like it. Borderline orgasmic.
A few weeks back we did a blog on who had better hot dogs – Coney Island or Hot Dog Annie’s. The correct answer was actually Tony Island Hot Dog in Oxford. This seasonal, family owned business actually has REAL hot dogs that fill up a whole bun. They also have TONS of other delicious summertime fun, including mouth watering sausages, grilled cheese melts, and bacon. Tons of bacon. Tell me you don’t wanna head down to the beautiful and easy to get to center of Oxford when you see this.
Have you ever been to this place before. It’s like the BJ’s of liquor stores except you don’t have to pay a membership. It’s ginormous, and the selection of wine, whiskey, and beer is second to none. Even from Worcester it’s no more than a 15 minute trip. Trust me, it’s worth it. It’s like Disney World for adults. People drive hours to get there. They have a blog, podcast, tasting room, smoke shop, gift baskets and many more cool stuff you can check out on Julio’s website. Tell em Turtleboy sent you.
This family owned business in Tatnuck Square is a staple of the community. The Marshall family has been this Turtleboy’s agent since I began driving. Mike Marshall and his father Jim will help you find ways to cut down your monthly payments and decide what you need and what you’re wasting money on. As a matter of fact they started advertising with us after contacting me about ways I can cut down on my monthly car insurance payments. I went down there today and spoke with Mike, and he knew exactly when a certain driving infraction would be expunged from my record so that he could get me the cheapest deal possible. That’s customer service right there.
I had never heard of Bennie’s before they contacted us looking to partner with Turtleboy. But I’ve been back several times because the food is good. The Rueben sandwich is to die for, and they have Keno, tons of TV’s, a full bar, and unlimited free popcorn. Located on West Mountain Street in between Burncoat and West Boylston Streets, I highly recommend hitting this place up if you’re in Worcester, Holden, West Boylton, Shrewsbury, or anywhere really.
Looking for a place to have some magical good times in the Woo? Look no further than the Union Tavern on Green Street. The drinks are cheap, the crowds are lively, and the atmosphere is second to none. Oh yea, and the place is normally crawling with junior smokeshows, if you’re into that sort of thing. They have two bars and an outdoor patio, just in time for the summer weather.
Located next to the fire station on Franklin Street, the family owned restaurant has long been a Turtleboy favorite. The building they took over is an old mill with an authentic Worcester feel to it. They have still have the building’s original wooden pillars and brick walls, but have since added a bar, an outdoor patio and have live music with bands all the time. Oh yea, and the food is Italian and it’s delicious. Their pizza is next up on the Turtleboy Worcester County Pizza Tour.
I shit you not, you will NEVER taste buffalo wings like the one’s you’ll get at Smokestack.Borderline orgasmic. I can’t say enough about the food in this place. When it comes to barbecue food in Worcester, there simply is no competition. They have indoor and outdoor seating and a full bar. When you get your receipt make sure you write, “Turtleboy sent me.” You’ll thank me later.
I once had a friend with an old Trans Am that he decided to keep on his lawn for what seemed like an eternity. So we started to decorate it for holidays. On Thanksgiving we put a nice harvest spread all over it, and for Christmas we glued Santa to the hood. Apparently once we started gluing dog biscuits to eat the neighbors finally had enough because it became the watering hole for neighborhood dogs. Finally the town of Auburn took it away at his expense. Meanwhile all he had to do to avoid this call up the good folks at Car Heaven who would’ve paid him top dollar to take it off his hands.
My favorite part of the hippie boycott is when they call up a defense attorney and tell them they’re boycotting them. You know what the best way to boycott Michael Erlich is? Don’t get arrested. But in life sometimes, shit happens. You have two glasses of wine with dinner and come across a police checkpoint. Next thing you know your life is flashing in front of your eyes. Mike has a solid reputation as one of Worcester’s finest defense attorneys, and constantly updates his Facebook page with stories about checkpoints, his opinion on cases in the news, and testimonials from his clients. I hope you never need his services, but if you do, you’re in good hands.
These guys have been doing business in northern Worcester for decades. They’re constantly getting new inventory for pre-owned cars because at the prices they sell them they move very quickly. Currently they have no Prius’s in stock, so the hippie boycott is negligible. If you’re looking to buy a quality used car from a reputable dealer, North End Motor Sales is where you wanna go. And quite frankly, anyone who buys a brand new car
is a sucker should contact me about purchasing my world famous Nantucket horse ranch.
I told our marketing consultant to contact Frank Scavone about advertising on Turtleboy because he’s come through in the clutch for me so many times before. My water heater shit the bed, which resulted in a very stinky Turtleboy family. I called up Frank Scavone, left the basement door unlocked for him, and magically came home to a brand new heater installed. The best part was the price. I had called Roto-Rooter a couple days before and the estimate they gave me was three times as high. If you ever have problems with your pipes or water heaters then give Scavone Plumbing and Heating a call, and tell him Turtleboy sent ya.
Another reason I find the hippie boycott of our sponsors hilarious is that they’re purposely missing out on some of the best goods and services from in and around the Woo. I almost feel bad for them. For instance, Tony Salerno is a former State Trooper, and as such has an intricate knowledge of the rights of the accused. So if one of these hippies got pulled over after having a few at the latest protest, why would they boycott someone who could get them out of a jam? I guess they’d rather go to jail. Oh well, I know I always keep my Salerno BAC App handy before I ever think about driving.
Just thinking about Chris Robarge calling up this place and telling them he’s not coming there anymore makes me laugh out loud. Located in the same building as Pepe’s at 274 Franklin Street,Invidium Spa and Salon is a great place to get your hair did and walk out feeling fresh as a daisy.
Turtleboy’s of all shapes and sizes were born and raised going to Kay’s barbershop. But after a while I only got the fresh cut from Heather. One day I came in and found out she was gone and had opened her own shop, but they wouldn’t tell me where. Then one day I went into JJM Insurance and saw The Buzz. I peaked inside and what do you know? I found her! Anyway, I’ve been going back ever since. For dudes it’s not just about the haircut – it’s about the atmosphere and the conversation. Sorry ladies, they only do dude haircuts, which actually makes the thought of Joyce McNickles calling them up and threatening not to go there all the more hilarious.