Turtleboy Investigates

Symmons Industries CEO And Friend Of Charlie Baker Gets Praised By Governor For “Reopening” And “Converting” To PPE Production Despite Laying Off Over 100 Workers And Never Closing  


Governor Charlie Baker was in Braintree today at Symmons Industries to do a photo op for the reopening of manufacturing businesses in Massachusetts. Baker, Polito, and CEO Tim O’Keefee did not wear a masks while lecturing people about the importance of wearing masks.


But it’s OK because they were “socially distancing,” right?

Except for when they walked by each other and rubbed shoulders. Or when they used the same microphone and touched the same podium. I hope this is all making sense now peasants.

He picked Symmons because they converted after the pandemic started to making PPE.

Except he forgot to point out that the bathroom supply company laid off over 100 employees on March 24, which they blamed on the commie cold. The jobs ranged from factory workers, to salespeople, to management. These workers received no warning and did not receive a severance. These are people with mortgages, families, and bills, and although they’re eligible from unemployment they make far less money now and would rather be working.

CEO Tim O’Keefe never “converted” any of these people to making or selling bathroom supplies. All they did was start selling ONE PRODUCT called the SAFEkey that hasn’t been selling at all.

They also didn’t start selling this product until May 5, so what did they spend the month and half prior to that “converting” to?

Notice how they brag about donating 10% to charity.

That’s also deceiving considering they charge much more than it costs to produce one of those, so who cares if they’re donating 10% to “Feeding America,” when their former employees are now struggling to feed their families. But yea, “buy our product and you’ll feed the hungry,” or something.

The product itself is a joke. It’s basically an oversized bottle opener that you use to pull doors open, touch screens and pinpads, and then put back into your filthy pocket to use again later. Former employees tell us that they’re not selling well at all, and were nothing more than a cheap marketing ploy to make a profiting company seem like they were “doing their part” to stop the spread. It went over like a fart in church on their Facebook page.

Symmons was also designated as “essential” by Baker so they never stopped manufacturing in the first place, and thus they’re not really reopening. Because God knows the world cannot survive without (checks notes) elegance and sophistication at hotels.

They weren’t able to keep people on due to the economic slowdown, but they were able to expand businesses opportunities into Canada.

Yet despite the fact that they clearly never shut down or converted to PPE production, Charlie Baker was praising them for the way they were “reopening.”

How can you reopen when you never closed in the first place?

But it’s cool because they play 80’s music now when they test their employees.

Everyone’s a doctor now.

Serious though, look at the headlines that EVERY MEDIA OUTLET has put out about this.

“Pivoted from plumbing products.”

They were always making the same plumbing products, they were just selling less of them because of Charlie Baker’s lockdown.  “Pivot” makes it sounds like they stopped making faucets and started making masks.

Then Lt. Governor Karyn with a Y praised them for making it a “safer place to give workers confidence to do their jobs.”

Yea, as long as you have a job. The rest of the people who were laid off can suck a fat one.

So why is Charlie Parker giving this particular company such free advertising, considering that all they’ve done during the pandemic is lay people off and continue to profit? Well, Tim O’Keefe is a friend and a donor, and Charlie’s been doing photo ops at his company ever since he was elected.

And God knows Tim O’Keefe isn’t struggling while riding around in his boat at his waterfront home in Hingham.

I realize that companies have to lay people off a result of this forced Charle Baker shutdown. But don’t praise your rich donor buddy for being innovative and “reopening” when all he did was profit off of a bootleg protect that does nothing to stop the spread of the virus.

Charlie Baker’s lockdown affected middle class workers more than anyone. If you didn’t make much money prior to this then you’re making more now on unemployment. If you’re a wealthy CEO like Tim O’Keefe then you’re saving money by laying people off without severance packages. If you’re Charlie Baker you’re still collecting a salary while forcing millions of people to lose their jobs and businesses. Barber shops, clothing stores, gyms, restaurants, bars, and countless other businesses have lost everything because they weren’t “essential,” but Charlie’s friend who makes “sophisticated” bathroom faucets is because he also makes a do-hickey that you can use at the ATM.


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48 Comment(s)
  • Retard Key
    May 21, 2020 at 9:43 am

    I am offended. It should be Special Needs Key.

  • Alan D.
    May 21, 2020 at 8:23 am

    You have no constitutional right not to be vaccinated.

  • Independent Thinker
    May 21, 2020 at 3:55 am

    A cloth covering on your face accomplishes nothing. Only a medical mask will protect you and others. But it is like recycling — our recyclables end up in the landfill, since there is no market for recyclables, but we all feel good about ourselves for recycling.

    When hair salons reopen, I have to get my temperature checked and wash my hands in the presence of the gal who does my hair, but I can go into a filthy Wal-Mart with dirty hands and cough and sneeze so long as I have a mask on. Soon it will be allergy season, and everyone will be sneezing.

  • Grandpa Jones
    May 21, 2020 at 2:15 am

    Is that Karen Polito one hot GILF or what boys. Yessssireee I’d pick her up like a six pack and carry her off to my grandpa lair. She does have a huge ass though and toilet paper is still a rare commodity so there’s that. Charlie Parker you lucky dog you.

  • Gov Baker the Clown, Stop the Madness
    May 20, 2020 at 11:35 pm

    Oh wtf Chuck……. Trump was doing these conferences over 2 months ago, the Covid19 show and tell fad is over. Time to let people go back to their jobs, let business reopen, stop standing in the fucking way you retarded dolt. Quit the grandstanding go hide in Swampscott with the box wine divorcees you failed fool.

    What’s next Chucky Boy a members only jacket, just get the fuck out of the way.

  • Poops Magee
    May 20, 2020 at 10:53 pm

    Charlie Baker makes me so angry… when I read this post I violently voided my bowels three times consecutively!

    • Poops Magee
      May 20, 2020 at 11:12 pm

      Update: I thought I calmed myself down, but then I heard the words “Charlie Baker” on the news. My face turned red… I started sweating… I punched a wall… then the next thing I know? Yup, another helping of Sloppy Joes in my underwear. I’ve had to change my pants four times today!

  • Jack
    Fat George
    May 20, 2020 at 10:30 pm

    Sad, just a act basically. All for the cameras and welcome to Mass.

  • Gross
    May 20, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    One of the most disgusting things about Charlie Baker’s phony praise of his donor’s company is the utterly uncritical adulation spewed by the leftist mainstream media. Presumably all stories about the “pandemic” must be approved for publication by Charlie Baker’s staff. WBUR radio, isn’t that part of Boston University? Teaching students like AOC how to think and broadcast “critically”, no doubt. When will Charlie Baker reward WBUR with a visit for complying with his rulebook? If the Mayflower could see the future Massachusetts of today it would do a u-turn and go home; Paul Revere would stay home and change sides.

  • Do the Reich Thing
    May 20, 2020 at 9:28 pm

    Per the Governor “the physical closeness associated with work is going to change” What does that mean!?

  • GetOffMyA$$TB
    May 20, 2020 at 9:10 pm

    Some people work hard during this crisis, TB digs through a middle aged man’s FaceBook to make his cheap article look better.

  • Suckmya$$
    May 20, 2020 at 9:06 pm

    Do you live on this Earth, or are you completely unaware of the global pandemic???!! TB, you are obviously oblivious to how a business is run. Do you really think a small manufacturing company would last through this without laying off employees? Think logically for once, less business in turn leads to less profits. This company pretty obviously could not pay all the employees throughout this crisis with less cash influx. This whole shit on Charlie Baker repartee is getting old. I know you have nothing to do right now, but get a new thing, or go away.

    • Puppy dog eyes
      May 20, 2020 at 10:38 pm

      Sounds like KP on clean up duty again. Try taking a communications class. The ums and ahs are getting real old.

  • Oliver Sutton
    May 20, 2020 at 9:01 pm

    He doesn’t even know how to hold a small striper (by the mouth). He’s holding it like a messy footlong sub.
    = he’s a fraud sucking up to Charlie Parker.
    = tries too hard to be from Hingham
    = just started fishing but pretends he’s done it before
    He checks all the douche boxes.

  • Michael Collings
    May 20, 2020 at 8:50 pm

    Who brought the 13 year old mentality trolls in TB ?
    In their defense they are probably trying to type with their corona face shield with a diversity bumper sticker on it.

  • LOLz
    May 20, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    LOL, How many people do you employee in the basement?

    Let the adults handle the business world.

    • Dick Bolles
      May 20, 2020 at 8:48 pm

      I’d guess that you’re some butt hurt troll who probably landed on these pages at some point for doing something ratchedly, but let that go.

      The theme of this article hasn’t been lost on regular people; local businesses that might have donated big bucks to the Gov’s re-election war chest were suddenly considered “essential”, even if their industry revolved around such crucial products like faucets and shower valves. And then to add insult to injury, this same company whips out some cockamamie metal door opener to show everyone how it’s rolling up its sleeves in the big fight against COVID 19. Piss on you, piss on this company, and most of all piss on the Gov.

  • Sensei
    May 20, 2020 at 7:30 pm

    I wonder if this piece of shit Charlie Parker’s drug addict rapist son
    Or Charlie’s homosexual brother have been laid off and have nothing to live on

    • randiguy2006
      May 20, 2020 at 7:50 pm

      Ooohhhhhh homosexual!!!!

      How salacious!!!!!!

    • Apple doesn't fall farm from tree
      May 20, 2020 at 11:41 pm

      Baker’s lecherous son and homo brother laid off from where? Did either have jobs aside from cruising the interstate rest stops?

  • Lmao
    May 20, 2020 at 7:25 pm

    Who else is shocked that Turtleboy’s big expose is that some guy has used Facebook before?

  • Olaf the Seal Skinner
    May 20, 2020 at 7:21 pm

    The Safekey is one of the best tools I’ve ever bought!

    After I crack the seal in the head, I hook it through the eye with my Safekey and drag it up on the beach to finish the job!

    I’m happy that my purchase helps the less fortunate, but we’re hiring too!
    Thanks Symmons!

    • Team Mask?
      May 20, 2020 at 10:34 pm

      TB, are you pro mask or anti-mask? Hard to keep track. You wrote that you’re anti-mask and that you wouldn’t wear one. Yet you do wear one every time you leave your house, including to your court hearing, which you admitted. And you criticize others for not wearing masks. Which is it????

    • Rancid Shark Meat
      May 21, 2020 at 2:05 am

      Olaf you magnificent comedy bastard, you sir have won the internet today for best comment.

  • Philip Landry
    Al Gore's tupee
    May 20, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    TB…..this is why people pay for your writing. Inform people about Truth. This is commonplace activity among ownership without conscious. Most are not like this. Decent product line none the less. Lying causes global warming.

  • Guinea Geisha
    May 20, 2020 at 6:10 pm

    The cat weeps for the dead mouse.

    • Silencio Dogood
      May 20, 2020 at 9:48 pm

      i make PEEPEE everyday and no one’s calling me a hero, is this America or what?
      The dog weeps for the empty bowl…

      • Guinea Geisha
        May 20, 2020 at 10:10 pm

        Be careful love. Foreskin is the cannibal’s calamari.

        • Silencio Dogood
          May 21, 2020 at 2:44 am

          so that’s why they call me “Squid Dick”!

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    May 20, 2020 at 6:02 pm

    This pompous ass TB never passes up a chance to shit on Baker, it’s getting a little old. And like he knows how a big corporation should be run? And imagine this, a highly paid CEO has a little boat, a little boat, that is not a $200,000 Hinckley . Give us a break you pompous ass.

    • Raney
      May 20, 2020 at 7:22 pm


      My dick hurts too from your mother taking her teeth out last night and licking my asshole and ball bag

      You pompous shit bag

    • It Appears Dick is In Fact a Dick
      May 20, 2020 at 8:55 pm

      Hey DICK, it you deserve to be shit on, you get shit on. Pretty simple formula dumbass.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Joe 30330
    May 20, 2020 at 5:57 pm

    Governor Charlie Parker of Massachusetts is giving all of us a lesson in leadership.

  • whatevuh
    May 20, 2020 at 5:31 pm

    Funny, I use my fingers at the ATM, and my hands to open doors (and scratch my ass) and I don’t use hand sanitizer, and for some reason I feel just fine !!

    • Snarky Pete
      May 20, 2020 at 5:45 pm

      I use my Dictaphone. No ‘Rona here.

  • jarhead
    May 20, 2020 at 5:30 pm

    Baker is a Fucking spineless Piece of Shit!

  • Massachusetts Sheeple
    May 20, 2020 at 5:23 pm

    I love cake

  • Wames Jood
    May 20, 2020 at 4:49 pm

    Sounds like TB is jealous of O’Keefe’s waterfront crib

    • randiguy2006
      May 20, 2020 at 7:40 pm

      TB is jealous of anyone who doesn’t “work” in his wife’s basement

  • Billy Downer
    May 20, 2020 at 4:32 pm

    They got laid off, not fired. There is no severance.
    And since it was during the COVID-19 period, they’re all eligible to collect U.I. PLUS the extra $600 per week. Bet you half of those laid off are making MORE from U.I..
    Don’t pretend to like you’re for the workers TB…you know zero about having a REAL job.

    • AK is An Idiot
      May 20, 2020 at 4:37 pm

      In other recent posts he *blames* UI for the extended stay-at-home, saying more people would be protesting if we cut it off. Which he advocates for. He can’t be consistent at all, because he’s a moron and doesn’t even know what he’s mad about.

    • Talldumbandgovenor
      May 20, 2020 at 6:24 pm

      Yeah never heard of this layoff severance package deal must of been in the really fine print. but like you said this guy hasnt worked a real job in his life.

    • Socialist Punks Fuck Off
      May 20, 2020 at 6:29 pm

      OK, “laid off” – not “fired.” I’m sure the semantics are of great comfort to those who lost their jobs, unemployment benefits or not. A big part of a NORMAL person’s self-esteem and self-worth is tied to having a good job that allows them to provide and care for their family (if they have one). Being fat, dumb, and happy on unemployment for 39 months is no way to go through life for a NORMAL American..

    • Carlos
      May 20, 2020 at 7:26 pm

      You shouldn’t talk
      Your mother’s job is not a real job either
      Sucking cocks in the back booth of Sullys tap for 10 bucks a pop is not a real job

    • Billy is a Moron
      May 20, 2020 at 7:49 pm

      Hey Billy, you ignoramus, let me give you a little MA employment law lesson. 1. If you get fired for cause, i.e. you violated company policy, didn’t perform your job duties, etc. , you can file for unemployment, but if the company contests it there is a hearing and the State decides if you can get unemployment or not. 2. If the company lays you off you are eligible for unemployment, and the company can give you a severance, it’s up to the company. If you get a severance and you sign a waiver saying you won’t sue the company, you get your severance and unemployment at the same time. If you don’t sign the waiver your unemployment compensation begins at the end of your severance.
      I was laid off in 2011 when the company I was working for closed the division of the company I worked in. They gave me a severance of 2 weeks salary for every year I worked there, plus an extra 4 weeks for staying on until the division closed its doors for good. That’s what decent companies who are still operating do. If Symmons only furloughed the employees and will be re-hiring them, that’s a totally different story. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case.
      Next time get your facts straight before opening your piehole and letting the shit fall out.
      Also, I’d be very interested to know what your “real job” is. TB has been a Teacher for several years and now a Journalist. Last time I checked those are pretty decent jobs.

  • Johnny on the Not
    May 20, 2020 at 4:25 pm

    That’s enough for me…Team Asteroid it is!

  • Turtleboy Investigates
    May 20, 2020 at 4:18 pm


  • Frank
    May 20, 2020 at 4:17 pm

    All hail king baker!!! He’s going to keep all of us free adults safe. People are so scared of death that they are afraid to live

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