The Celtics Proved Last Night They Are Everything The Bruins Are Not, Time To Win A Championship

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So we kind of haven’t talked about sports in a few months, and we probably should since this blog is called Turtleboy Sports. So let’s sum up what the Bruins and Celtics just did this season, and why they’re going in such vastly different directions.

It’s insane that the Boston Bruins were up 2-1 in the Stanley Cup Finals less than three years ago. They blew game six of that series by giving up 2 goals in the final minute, and they’ve been doing nothing but blowing ever since. The last two seasons have been a disgrace and an embarrassment. They didn’t just fail to make the playoffs, they collapsed in historic fashion. Both times.

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It was announced today that Claude Julien will not be fired by GM Don Sweeney, which is kind of insane considering a lot of the decisions he made directly led to the Bruins’ demise. But more than anything management failed this team, and it all started by trading away Tyler Seguin because he’s a young kid who likes to party. God forbid. Instead of keeping players like him who can actually play, we reupped chumps like Chris Kelly and brought in losers like Jimmy Hayes and Louie Erickson. But nevertheless, Claude had them EASILY in the playoffs a month or two ago, and then his team shit the bed.

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Five years ago after winning the Stanley Cup I honestly thought it was the beginning of a dynasty. Everyone on the team was in their 20’s except for Chara and Thomas. And we had a replacement for Thomas. But Tuukka Rask clearly ain’t Tim Thomas, and we haven’t brought in or developed any players, while losing several key guys. It’s truly remarkable how this team has imploded so quickly.

Then you got the Celtics, who were in the exact opposite position five years ago. Turtleboy swore them off. They were done. The Big 3 were old and useless and the prospect line was non-existent. Plus in the NBA you normally don’t build through the draft unless you get incredibly lucky like Golden State has with Curry, Green, and Thompson. And free agents don’t wanna come to Boston because the weather sucks and we don’t shoot rap videos here.

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But the difference between the Bruins and the Celtics is coaching. We have possibly the second best coach in the NBA, and what he has done with this team is nothing short of remarkable. Brad Stevens has taken a group of castoffs and nobodies and turned them into a 48 win playoff team. Seriously, I would’ve bet my world famous Nantucket Horse Ranch that a core of Isaiah Thomas, Avery Bradley, Evan Turner, and Jae Crowder would have them in the lottery for years to come. Trading away Rondo was supposed to be waving the white flag, but instead Stevens took this group of average players and turned them into a championship contending team, just like he did at Butler.

Look no further than last night’s season finale against the Heat. They were booed off the floor at halftime down 62-38!!! Then this happened:

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The Celtics honored the 66, 76, and 86 championship teams, which is such an alpha male power move. We only honor championship years in increments of ten. And what they did in the third quarter was what makes this team so awesome. They outscored the Heat 25-5!! That’s insane. That’s balls. That’s a team that just came off two bad losses against potential playoff opponents and was getting their ass kicked by another potential opponent, officially resurrecting itself from the dead. There wasn’t a person watching that game last night who didn’t think the Celtics were going to win going into that 4th quarter down 4 points.


And that’s what makes the Celtics so different from the Bruins. The Bruins fell flat on their faces in their final game of the season against a crap bag team after taking a 1-0 lead after the first period. They were emasculated from that point on, losing 6-1. The Celtics did the exact opposite.

Sure, it didn’t really work out in the end because we ended up with the five seed and Atlanta gets home court against us. But this means we get Bron-Bron in the second round if we make it past the Hawks. And quite frankly we play much better against Cleveland than we do against Toronto.


The Cavs are a fake team coached by a fake coach, and led by an overrated superstar who is most associated with choking. And now we have all the momentum in the world after that sweet, orgasmic final game. I’m not saying we will win the Championship this year, but if we beat Atlanta there is no way we are losing to Cleveland. After we finally get lucky with another team’s lottery balls this year and add the #1 pick to next year’s team, Kevin Durant is gonna realize that Boston is where dreams come true and the Celtics will once again be great again.



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10 Comment(s)
  • Practical
    April 19, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    Really looking forward to your next Celtics article in six months, TB.

  • Del Griffith
    April 14, 2016 at 9:20 pm

    Bad. Damn chubby fingerxs

  • Del Griffith
    April 14, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    The rest of her ain’t ban either

  • GoneWest
    April 14, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    Chris Kelly a chump and Loui a loser? I won’t have that

  • RSoxGuy
    April 14, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    The legs on that girl….. My god!

    • BobnMic
      April 14, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      Seriously! Yikes!

    • Wabbitt
      April 15, 2016 at 8:03 pm

      Is her right foot turned around backwards? I’m not sure if that’s cringe worthy or arousing. Or both.

  • Trump's boy penis
    April 14, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    KD coming to Boston is the only thing I want for christmas

  • Practical
    April 14, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    We still supposed to hate Lebron?

    Lame at this point.

    • Trump's boy penis
      April 14, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      I don’t think it’s a hate thing around here anymore. People just realize he is a pussy ass bitch and not worth the time and energy to hate.

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