Matthew Brown, AKA the Foreskin Fapnado, is one of the more notorious ratchets in recent Turtleboy history. Usually this deadbeat Dad can be found sexually harassing strange women on the Interwebz and sending unsolicited dicks pics with a screenshot of a Discover bank account which is clearly not his to good looking women who understandably want nothing to do with them. They reject him and he does this.
He has sent me threatening emails and I considered getting a restraining order against him after he began calling me with threats to come to my house, but it’s like a 20 minute drive to Leominster District Court and he’s just not worth my time.
Anyway, I haven’t heard from him in a couple months until he reappeared this afternoon after he posted a video of himself not only getting kicked off a flight back home from Charlotte and getting arrested for refusing to wear a mask while swearing in front of several crotch fruits, but forcing everyone else on to get off the plane too.
I’ll never support the masks, but I also don’t own the airline. And if I had my flight home delayed because the Foreskin Fapnado wouldn’t put a piece of cloth over his mouth I’d give him the United 93 treatment.
The only satisfying part was watching him get the perp walk in front of a crowd of booing Massholes and others who likely missed their connecting flights as a direct result of this shithead’s insanity.
OMG, I wanna milk those gerber servers so badly.
I can see he shops at the same thrift shops as Josh Abrams.
The best part is he posted it on Facebook assuming people would sympathize with him, but passive aggressively gave people the option to comment if they felt he was being a douchebag, assuming no one would. Turns out everyone he knows hates him and thinks he should announce to the world that he has information that could lead to the conviction of Hillary Clinton so that he could finally disappear from the earth once and for all.
Finally when someone tagged Turtleboy he realized he was about to be famous again and took the post down.
I don’t know who that woman is or how much he paid for her to take that picture with him, but she’ll definitely have a restraining order out against him within the next 3 months. That’s just science.
Something tells me this is not the last time we’ll hear from Matthew Brown. And if he did have his girlfriend on that flight with him let’s hope she got on the plane without him and never, ever sees him again.
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