Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship.
The Geoff Diehl police are going to make my head explode this morning. We endorsed Shiva and these people are losing their minds. Just to be clear – we like Geoff Diehl. And I’d gladly vote for him if this election was going to be close, but facts matter. And we’re not a republican safe space that’s going to tell you that everything is going to be alright. It’s not. We live in a horrible, horrible state filled with horrible people who elect other horrible people. Real Clear Politics is an unbiased collection that averages poll results together. Here’s where Diehl stands right now:
Down 25 points. No one in the history of politics has ever won an election down 25 points on election day. Ever. Again, facts don’t care about your feelings. That’s why comments like this are so dumb:
She’s polling at 56%. If every single person who votes for Shiva voted for Diehl instead, she would still be up over double digits in the polls. This is very, very, very simple math.
Then there’s the “Yea but Trump was losing in the polls too” nudniks.
Trump was down 3 points nationally in the polls. He lost the national popular vote by 2. The polls were insanely accurate for that election.
Polls deviate from a mean, but 25 points is like 8 or 9 standard deviations away. Anyone with a basic understanding of how statistics work, understands that you have a better shot at winning the lottery than Diehl does at winning this election.
Oh, and let’s talk about Trump. Here’s how he did in Massachusetts compared to his polling:
She led by 29 in the polls and won by 27. Again, the polls are insanely accurate. It doesn’t matter how many people you talked to who hate her, or how many Diehl yard signs you see, the reality is that the population is concentrated in Cambridge, Boston, Brookline, New Bedford, Fall River, and other God forsaken cities, and they will vote overwhelmingly for her because she’s from the party that hands out free shit. Again, FACKS matter.
Poor Todd just wasn’t understanding this VERY simple concept.
No idiot. Trump was down 3 points in the polls and won. But I guess someone has to fill in the seats on the Turtleboy short bus.
Here’s some of the well thought out political commentary people have posted on our page:
No genius, Shiva did not lose the primary, because his name wasn’t on the ballot in the primary. He’s running as an independent.
Of course Shiva will get less votes than Diehl. We endorsed Shiva because neither has any shot so you might as well vote for the guy who actually threw haymakers at her.
Todd wanted to talk about math:
Here’s some math for you Todd. When one candidate gets 56% of the vote, it means they will get more votes than the rest of the candidate combined. It’s mind boggling that people are this willfully stupid.
Someone please just kill me now. I really need to get off this ride. I can’t believe any of these people graduated form high school. Again 56% means 56 out of 100. This leaves only 44% of voters. If every single one of them voted for Diehl, he would still lose by double digits. It’s really, really sad that this has to be explained to adults.
Wait….what? I voted for Trump because he did what Diehl wouldn’t do – throw punches.
Finally there’s the people telling us we’re dumb for writing in Turtleboy for governor:
Wrong. If you vote for an asshole like Charlie Baker simply because he is the lesser of two evils than it is you who is stupid. You’re also a slave to the two party system, so congrats on that. Oh, and Charlie Baker is not a Republican in any way, shape, or form.
Ya know what’s a joke? An election where one guy is ahead of the other guy by forty points:
That’s a fucking joke. Ya know what else is a joke? People who think a protest vote in an election where one candidate is leading the other by 40 means you’re not taking it seriously.
It’s OK turtle riders. You come here for facts. We know what we’re talking about and you don’t. When the election results come in exactly as we told you they will we won’t rub it in your face. Just understand that we are right and you are wrong. The end.
20 Comment(s)
…what will you say tomorrow if the total ends up actually being something like 49% Warren, 41% Diehl and 10% Shiva? You know if Shiva wasn’t in the race, that 10% would never have gone to Warren…
For an explicitly anti-warren website, to encourage people to throw their vote away toward Shiva, just because he paid your website for advertisement, so Incase he has any further political delusions of running a victorious campaign down the future you can cash in again, you would figure that instead you would encourage any would be Shiva voters to vote for Diego, and hopefully get enough of a bloc of the vote to swing it against her. Scott Brown I.e. did the unprecedented by defeating a Democrat for a federal senate seat. It seems obvious that this is for the financial relationship between Shiva and TBS, and that’s understandable. But it’s sad that one man’s delusion of grandeur, that by being a provocative personality he can swing the election, is actually going to diminish any real chance of contesting with the Warren powerhouse. It would appear as though, unintentionally, Shiva is a great advocate for the Warren campaign. He is not extracting would be Warren voters, just anti Warren voters that would otherwise pool their collective voting power into an underdog, yet viable candidate to contend with her when the votes are counted. That’s just an objective analysis. I’m going to write in Benito Mussolini personally.
I got it wrapped up blacks and browns love the plantation and union thugs intimidate for me.
I got this wrapped up. My only question is what ethnicity to pretend ro be for the Presidentail election. I was born into the HeyHowAreyYou tribe and am Okie to my toes and drink whine with my papa pa at a Cambridge cheese shop. I will spend the next to years smokem peace pipes and squaw dancing away.
I am in this for me
Voted for Geoff, but Turtle is right on this one. Democrats outnumber Republicans roughly 2 to 1 in this state, so the percentages makes sense (55% versus 31%). Also, the city factor is huge. The people in Sommerville, Cambridge, etc. are insane. You get out beyond 128 and they are a little less insane. You go beyond 495 and its like a different country. What I don’t get is Baker’s approval rating. Why do voters like him *and* Warren? Even though he’s hardly a conservative, he’s nothing like her at all. He’s like a Democrat from 30 years ago. How do people reconcile voting for him and Warren at the same time? I just don’t get it. If you drink Warren’s brand of crazy Kool-aid, I would think you’d love Gonzalez. Conversely, if you’re a centrist voting for Baker’s moderation, why would Warren’s extremism appeal to you?
“The people” told me Scott Brown had no chance.
If fucktards gave up the loser mentality and actually went out and voted for Diehl, he could have beaten the fake Indian. But no, you smarter and everyone else schmucks voted for shiva. Fucking douche bags- you just as well have voted for squaw spreading bull.
Diehl unfortunately doesn’t have the sack to win. He has zero energy, no personality and looks like he’s just enjoying the ride. Warren is beatable here but you would need someone who isn’t a one note player. Which means we can look forward to a soon to be hilarious presidential election.
Diehl will lose because his ENTIRE message is “Im not Elizabeth Warren.”
In a state where Warren has a huge approval rating.
Not a winning strategy.
The most interesting thing is what will Shiva do post election. The guy is a huge attention junkie.
Speaking of junkies, what kind of medications are your kids taking because of your selfish asshole “former” smack habit’s long term effects?
Your kids probably hate you. What do you tell them when they’re caught shooting up or taking Oxys? Fucking hypocrite. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that one. It would be great watching you squirm like the spineless bitch that you are… watching their future crumble because of your asshole choices.
Scumbag.
Just a statin these days.
My kids are grown and out of the house.
Both employed with great jobs in this state. Doing well with capitalism.
Look, I get that most Republicans are decent people who just have different opinions on things.
But help me out.
Why do you live in Mass if you hate it so much?
Seems like you would be SO much happier elsewhere where the majority of people a agree with you.
I see people who have have spent their entire loves here bitching and moaning.
Why not leave?
Seriously trying to understand the mindset.
Yeah, it’s almost like the way that Socialists hang out in a Capitalist country. They make enough noise, so we have to listen to them or they break and burn stuff.
A good example is the way that Democrats say over and over that the opiate addiction, which curiously started after thousands of “unaccompanied” minors traveled 4,500 miles from Central America’s Murder Triangle and were let after the Democrats cried about them, is a “disease” – so they set up a huge tent on the Methadone Mile to keep their embarrassment out of sight but flourishing.
You of course know this, “Randall Guy”. You’re an admitted junkie. You probably stole from old people, most likely Korean and WWII vets who ironically fought to protect your freedom from the other progressives, the Nazis and Communists, to fund your “disease”. You’re a fucking soulless cunt who was a tick on the ballsack of society, but we let you stay instead of euthanizing you like we should have, and you’re still here to shoot your punk mouth off all you want.
Because… America. But in North Korea, you’d have been shot in a stadium a long time ago.
So we tolerate you for now. If you don’t behave yourself, we might do what your leftist comrades in Russia would have done to you back in the days of the Soviet Union. We can only take so much, and you’re more problems than you’re worth. It’s not cost effective to keep leftist parasites alive…
…and we’re Capitalists.
We’re all about reducing liabilities.
Thats a nice little rant (about what, I have no idea).
But it fails to answer the question.
Why do people live somewhere they hate?
For the same reason you dumb cunts bitch about Trump morning, noon, and night and never follow through with those “moving to Canada” threats. Christ on a crutch, you’re a dim bulb.
Our families have been here for generations. Those of us who are saddled with such families want to stay near them, especially the older relatives. Our jobs are here as well, and changing jobs would be a hassle. In my immediate family, though, we do find our own ways to screw the system (all of which are legal). For example, I drive a 30 year old car which I bought brand new 30 years ago. Because it’s so old, it’s exempt from many things that are required in new cars, requirements that make driving a new car much more expensive than it should be. . And I have a great mechanic, who just loves to keep the car going. Other than that, though, we screw the state by not spending money here, and not doing stupid things like speeding that end up forcing people to pay much more in car insurance. We pay all our bills on time and don’t cause problems for anyone who might cause problems for us. When the time comes, though, and my husband and I retire, we’ll be out of here so fast your head will spin. Oh, and since we don’t spend money we’ll be able to donate our home to charity when we do leave the state. Once a property is donated to a charity, it comes off the tax rolls in whatever city of town it’s located. That means the town of city gets no property tax from the property. And of course we’ll get a tax deduction from the donation.
Great answer. I couldn’t have said it any better. We too drive two 15 year old cars that we bought new. Total excise tax to the state? $75.00 per car per year. Fuck you Mass State government. We live near the NH border. We buy everything in New Hampshire. Yeah, food and clothing are not taxed in Mass, but we’ve saved tens of thousands of dollars in sales tax over on other goods and services over the past 25 years. Fuck you Mass State government. Even though I was born and raised here, lived here all of my life, I can’t wait to get out of this socialist hell hole. Let all of the rich liberals put their money where their mouths are and foot the bill for the corrupt, wasteful government and welfare layabouts in this state.
Just curious, what state will you retire to?
Is there one that you feel doesn’t over-tax or have wasteful government?
A Shiva supporter is calling someone stupid? That’s a good one.
Shiva’s signs are hilarious and he gets my vote.
Shiva does have a strong sign game