WTF

The Norwell Police Need To Take A Lap After Falling For The Pumpkin Spice Mafia’s Human Trafficking Urban Legend

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You know we support the police at Turtleboy Sports, but the Norwell PD is gonna need to take a lap after this one:

Norwell police are urging people to be aware of their surroundings as individuals allegedly try to recruit young woman for human trafficking by speaking about religion. Officers responding to Stop & Shop on Washington Street Monday just before 8 p.m. found a 24-year-old woman who reported that she observed another woman following her in the store. That woman allegedly approached the 24-year-old and began speaking about Christianity. The 24-year-old reported the suspicious activity to police as social media posts regarding the recruitment of human trafficking circulate online. The posts state that people in different areas of Massachusetts are approaching young woman and talking about religion as a way to recruit them into human trafficking. This recent incident is under investigation; however, police say there is no evidence at this time that it is related to human trafficking. Norwell police reminds people to be alert and to report suspicious activity to police.


Can someone PLEASE tell the Norwell Police that this isn’t real? It’s just the Pumpkin Spice Mafia doing Pumpkin Spice Mafia things. Once again, there is no child sex trafficking ring in public places. There’s nothing to investigate. There’s just a church called “God The Mother,” going around in public places, asking you to join their church. They’re like Jahovah’s witnesses pretending to buy groceries. Contrary to the basic Becky’s who are trying to get the rest of the Pumpkin Spice Mafia worried that they could be next, they’re not actually recruiting you to be kidnapped in the parking lot by shady dudes.

They’re just annoying, overbearing religious people trying to get you to join their cult. And quite frankly it’s irresponsible of the police to get people worried like this. It’s a non-incident, and certainly not worth reporting about. The police have thoroughly debunked this hoax. Well, everyone except the Norwell Police apparently. While I respect the work that they do to keep the community safe, they really should read more Turtleboy to stay up to date on fake sex trafficking rings at Stop & Shop.

13 Comment(s)
  • Mike Barnicle
    October 12, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    Have you ever been on the Expressway during rush hour? Now that’s human trafficking.

  • Donnie
    October 12, 2018 at 10:50 am

    If men and woman are phsically equal as the libs suggest why would they have men waiting in the parking lot to kidnap them and not more woman?

  • Ayer Traffic
    October 12, 2018 at 5:06 am

    all i did was ask her where the bacon bits were….

  • Dixie Normous
    October 11, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    Chubby chicks trying to create a bit of drama in their otherwise meaningless lives. Let’s face it, would their friends rather read that BooBoo Kitty hacked up a hairball, or that Kayleigh was almost kidnapped by a cult? Never mind that one of the two didn’t happen, but now Kayleigh is a Brave, Empowered Victim (almost) instead of a sad cat lady cleaning up fur and tuna puke.

  • Serial fornicater
    October 11, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    I would make sure she doesn’t shit right for a week.

  • Akihito
    October 11, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    Some white haired old biddy with a mick brogue and a greasy looking italian woman with a stache came up to me asking if I’d contribute to some catholic charity. I damn knew their intention was to get me back to their place and rape me with a curling iron. Thank goodness I said no and walked away!

    • Shirley Leung
      October 11, 2018 at 6:46 pm

      Me too! #metoo. Kevin Cullen saw it all happen!

  • thinkpeoplethink
    October 11, 2018 at 3:42 pm

    Bottom line…this is Massachusetts. ANY stranger who approaches you to make conversation is a weirdo. The ‘normal’ people in Massachusetts never try to converse with strangers…ever.

  • Stunt Penis
    October 11, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Ever notice how it is the butt ugly fat broads (you know, the ones no guy in their right mind would want to stick their dick in) who these people want to “kidnap” for sex trafficking?

    • dave
      October 11, 2018 at 3:55 pm

      Eh! who would miss them if they disappeared?

  • Jim Jones
    October 11, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    “It’s a cult.. do you not know how they work?”

    Since when do all cults get their members by kidnapping? I’m not aware that Jonestown got any that way. Let go in on their own free will.

  • Chinaman
    October 11, 2018 at 2:27 pm

    I like to post by the other dumb pumpkin spice Mafia chicks. “Don’t you know how they operate – with large men ?” “Remember how Jonestown started?”

    JHC!! How can people be so fucking stupid?

  • Top Turtle Fan
    October 11, 2018 at 1:58 pm

    I don’t usually disagree with you guys,but the cops are doing what they have to do to keep the peace with these fucktards. If they don’t put out an ‘alert’ they’re wrong,if they do the same. MOST normal minded people already know enough to be aware of their surroundings ect.. I betcha if they DIDN’T do it, someone would come out of the woodwork and swear on a stack of Hillary’s last book that this happened and they escaped.

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