Sports

“The Process” Apparently Means Al Horford Makes You His Bitch And You Give Us Free Draft Picks So Jayson Tatum Can Murder You

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How great is it to be a Boston Celtics fan? How much more does God love us? No Kyrie. No Hayward. No problem. All I heard going into this series was how there was no way we were gonna beat Philadelphia. “The process” was coming to fruition. They just won 20 games straight to end the season. Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, blah, blah, blah.

Then this happened:

Al Horford made them his bitch. Game winning layup. Game winning steal. Just a reminder that the Sixers would’ve won without going to overtime if their savior didn’t do this:

We didn’t even really earn that game. They just gave it to us with turnover after turnover. It was sad and pathetic. “Trust the process” apparently means intentionally tanking for 5 years in a row to acquire draft picks, only to watch them get murdered by a bunch of backups on the Celtics.

Oh, and the Celtics were gonna take Jayson Tatum #1 overall, but then Danny Ainge realized they were dumb enough to give us more top draft picks to choose a guy who hasn’t played all series while Tatum has gone for 20+ every single game.

So much winning.

This was the best part:

Premature load drop. And for what? Suppose that shot had gone in at the buzzer and they won the game. What the hell are you dropping confetti for? Celebrating being down 2-1? What a loser, suckbag city Philadelphia is. Just sad really. Yea, you won a Super Bowl. Congrats. We’ll just win that again next year too. No big deal.

Bring me LeBron.

P.S. Time to trade Kyrie Irving for Anthony Davis right? What’s the point? Rozier is almost as good, younger, and has functional knees. That way we keep Brown and Tatum and add the most dominant big man in the game since Shaq to go along with Gordon Hayward. They’re good enough to make the Finals this year. Next year they bring us a duckboat parade.

1 Comment(s)
  • Tommy "Tommy Points" Heinsohn
    May 5, 2018 at 11:27 pm

    That young man Terry Rozier is the future. I haven’t seen anyone with a shot like that since Havlicek in ’76!

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