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So the Hooter’s in Shrewsbury is opening up on December 7, and one of my favorite things to do when I’m bored is to check out the Hooters Facebook page. Because for whatever reason this harmless restaurant is still controversial in 2015. Turtleboy is obviously gonna check it out, and not just for the jugs either. Anyone who goes to a restaurant so they can look at a nice rack is doing themselves a disservice, especially if they’re sacrificing quality for cup size. I’m going because I’ve never been to one and it’s cool to have it close by. If the food is good and the atmosphere is fun, then I’ll be back. Probably won’t be there on December 7 though because I would imagine the place is gonna be packed to the brim with some of Grafton Hill’s finest.
Anyway, the Facebook page is hilarious because of the commentary. It can be divided up as into the following 7 kinds of posts:
1. Marcy Darcy’s of the world, whining about sexism.
Objectification of women? The waitresses are trying to look attractive, I assume because this increases the likelihood of morons leaving a bigger tip. Since when is this a bad thing? Newsflash – all women objectify themselves. It’s the reason you wear makeup, do your hair, and look in the mirror when you go to the bathroom. Because you want to maximize your physical attractiveness to strangers. Unless you are a hardcore feministo who doesn’t shave her pits and lives alone with 20 cats, then you are no better than any of the women who will be working at Hooters.
Oh yea, Hooters is the reason that society is going to hell. Because when you see how 12 year old girls are dressed at the Solomon Pond Mall, “classy” is usually the first thing that comes to mind. But please, tell me more about how some women in shorts and tank tops are the downfall of modern society.
Or you could do both at some point in your lifetime? Nah, that makes too much sense.
A huge step back? You know what a huge step back for women was? When they started treating their face like a voodoo doll:
Hannah seems nice:
LOL, yea Paris, real degrading. Kind of like a certain someone’s profile picture:
Wait a minute….this is a dude talking? Sorry Aslan, but Turtleboy is gonna need your man card. And please, tell me more about how a woman in shorts and a tank top serving you a burger is is the same thing as the circus putting the disabled on display for people’s amusement. Because your logic seems rock solid. Oh yea, and telling people they can’t work at a private business based on their sex or physical appearance is pretty standard procedure. Trust me, I applied to work at Sweaty Betty’s a while back and you should’ve seen the look I got.
2. People complaining that they can’t get a job there because of all their tattoos.
Look, I understand a lot of people have tattoos, but it’s just not the business model Hooters is going for. When you get a Chinese lettering tattoo that you think says, “wisdom,” but really says, “stick it here,” you have to accept the fact that it’s going to lock you out of certain professions. One of those is working at Hooters. Don’t worry though, the Hotel Vernon is always looking for new bartenders.
3. The people who you feel bad for because they haven’t figured out how this works yet.
4. Angry townsfolk.
Yea, why build a restaurant that will bring tax revenue to the town when you can have an abandoned lot for landing your helicopter?
5. Buffalo Wild Wings diehards.
Buffalo Wild Wings blows. Just sayin.
6. People who are mad that the goal of a business is to make money.
I’m as blue blooded as the next American, and I’m sure Turtleboy will get shit for this, but people have to stop being so anal about the American flag rules. So it touched the ground – who gives a shit? Pretend you didn’t see it. Turtleboy Jr. rolls around on the ground all the time. I’m supposed to watch over a flag more than a human being? An apparently you’re supposed to give flags that have touched the ground to the boy scouts so they can dispose of it. I don’t care what law that is, it needs to be changed because it’s outdated and dumb.
7. Hilarious commentary.
See ya at Hooters!!!
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