Hoodrat Heroes

The Springfield Sausage Cavern Thinks We Really Had Food Stamps To Sell Her And Is Calling DTA To Report Us 

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Yesterday we blogged about this Springfield Sausage Cavern who was looking for food stamps to buy on Facebook, so we pretended to be a seller to see if she’d show up.

And she did.

Well, to make matters even more ghetto fabulous she elected to show up on Clarence Woods Emerson’s Facebook page (which you should all be following since that’s where all the fun seems to take place these days) to defend her honor. And when a honey roasted ratchet shows up to defend their honor you better get the popcorn ready.

As someone pointed out, the Sausage Cavern also seems to be a gypsy Uber driver….

Pretty sure Ubers don’t have flat $5 rates. And pretending to an Uber driver when you’re not is probably some sort of fraud. I don’t know for sure, I’m not an Internet lawyer. Then again, we’re dealing with a woman apparently is a veteran in the illegal buying and selling of food stamps from strangers on Facebook, so this is hardly surprising.

She evidently thinks that we did in fact have food stamps to sell her….

God I love this job. She really thinks we live in that building (even though it’s explained in the blog who lives in that building) and had food stamps to sell her. Now she’s going to call DTA on us. I can’t wait to hear about that call.

“Hello, DTA? I was trying to illegally buy food stamps off this dude on Facebook but he never met up with me. Can you pleas arrest him? Thanks.”

She thinks that Clarence makes money off of the illegal buying and selling of taxpayer funded entitlements:

Clearance? His name is Clarence!! Clearance is the rack in TJ Maxx that has it’s own gravitational pull the moment you walk into the store.

She used the hashtag #FoodForThought, which as Colrain Willy pointed out should probably be #FoodStampsForThought

It’s all good though because she’s a “taxpayer”

Wow, she pays $100 a week in taxes (sure she does)!! That’s a LOT of money, which obviously gives her the right to defraud the taxpayers in order to save money on groceries.

Soon came the potty words….

I for one am shocked that a gutterslug like this would have such an erudite vocabulary.

As another commenter pointed out, she is hurting people who are actually in need, committing fraud, and stealing from the taxpayers. Don’t worry, she has a good excuse though…..

“Do ya homework hoe.”

Need that on a t-shirt.

Anyway, the sausage cavern has now blocked us and the Chicopee Police have been alerted about her. I know DTA reads Turtleboy religiously too, so good luck getting more EBT in the future hun. Nevertheless she is still more than welcome on Turtleboy Live this weekend. Unblock Clarence and hit me up girl!

10 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    July 7, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    Cute. Big knockers. Dumb as a sack of doorknobs.

    Totally my type.

  • Rory
    July 5, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    Gotta hand it to eniyah, not once did she pull the race card, which means she enjoys the white meat.

  • Barryinchief
    July 5, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    What a tragic waste of tits.

  • TJB
    July 4, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    Is this Troglodyte related to smellgado?



    noun: troglodyte; plural noun: troglodytes

    (especially in prehistoric times) a person who lived in a cave.

  • itsjustme
    July 4, 2018 at 2:04 pm

    Have you ever seen those dumb criminals that go to the police to report they didn’t get good quality coke, or they paid for so much of heroin but didn’t get it? That is what she reminds me of.

    You know those people have a shit eating grin on their face as they walk into the pd, imagining the other person getting busted and then they end up getting arrested. I so hope she does report it.

  • Revrun Fishknuckle
    July 4, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    I call B.S., not once did Eniyah cry racist..

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    July 4, 2018 at 12:37 pm

    Gold jerry!!!!……gold!

  • Charles Darwin
    July 4, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    These specimens exceeded my expectations. They’re still not extinct despite the fact they kill each other every day. My hypothesis is that they survive because they breed like rodents while guilt ridden humans cater to their degenerate lifestyle. I will record my findings in the upcoming “Origin Of The Welfare Species”.

  • Honkey Kong
    July 4, 2018 at 11:47 am

    That chickenhead is so stupid, she doesn’t even know the degree of her own stupidity. Keep this one tagging along. She’ll be an endless source of entertainment. Now have Uncle Turtleboy pretend he’s Lil Uzi Vert and tell her he saw her on Facebook and wants a hookup.

  • Joe Buttcheeks
    July 4, 2018 at 11:23 am

    How about the Democrats pander to these slobs?


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