WTF

The State Police Are Definitely Sending Out A Coded Message To Us By Putting This Flat Brimmed Chicago Bulls Hat In Facebook Post About Heroin Bust

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Tell me this isn’t a hidden turtle signal from the Massachusetts State Police:

The hat!!!

There’s just no way possible the MSP weren’t trying to secretly contact us with this bait. Why else put the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat WITH THE STICKER STILL ON IT??!! Why else would they put the hat on the evidence table? Why else would they post on Facebook about a relatively small drug bust from some dime a dozen shithead from Lawrence? Whoever the troopers were back at the barracks are obviously turtle riders, they saw “the hate” and immediately laughed and said, “this mother fucker’s going on Turtleboy.” And here we are.

In fairness, you could argue that the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat constitutes evidence. Really, really good evidence at that. If I was on a jury and that thing was presented at trial, I wouldn’t even consider any other evidence. Guilty. Nuff said.

Everyone and their sister knows that we discovered the link between that particular hat and douchebags anonymous.

It’s our thing.

I feel like this was code to look into this guy or something. But his name is Hector Roman and he’s from Lawrence. Do you know how many Hector Roman’s there probably are in Lawrence? All of them.

When someone sends us a story about some ratchet and they’re Hispanic, I don’t even bother looking on Facebook. Puerto Ricans and Dominicans are the best at hiding their Facebook identities. White people and others often use their real name. Latinos know better. They frequently use some nickname moniker like “La Beba” or “La Colora” or some bullshit that makes them impossible for us to find them in their glory.

So yea, the second I saw the name “Hector Roman” I knew we weren’t finding him on Facebook. Nevertheless, shoutout to the MSP for sharing the hat. Means a lot that you ride the turtle.

21 Comment(s)
  • Lola Bunny
    November 21, 2018 at 11:00 pm

    Nothing like giving the cops a fake name that turns out to be a wanted criminal lmao! Idiot

    • D Winchester
      November 22, 2018 at 4:29 pm

      Not only that but he can’t even remember his own birthdate!  Not slick at all

  • Meme
    November 21, 2018 at 10:58 pm

    This guy is on Facebook as Adnell Roman.  Youe welcome!

  • mrme
    November 21, 2018 at 6:29 pm

    Don’t mean to knock the wind out of your sails Turtleboy but the hat is where the drugs were found…Nahhh, it was put there for you. Enjoy!!!

  • FatCambridgeWokeWhiteChick
    November 21, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    Just think how many more hector romans there will be once the caravan gets here. I cream my woke pants thinking about this

  • Clitty Litter
    November 21, 2018 at 10:11 am

    Bobbin for Boners was on Channel 5 this am

  • Turtle Rider
    November 21, 2018 at 10:08 am

    LOL should’ve put some watermelon and fried chicken in the pic too.

  • Scott
    November 21, 2018 at 10:08 am

    Yeah, using your real name on Faceborg has to be the dumbest thing ever. This is the last vestige of a high-trust society. Dominicans know nothing of high-trust societies. We’re heading towards their model unfortunately.

  • Burlando Castile
    November 21, 2018 at 8:38 am

    You guys know damn well Detective Fuller Bull was sending out the signal at MSP. The only rationale I can find for the hat would be if the perp was hiding the heroin under his hat like Wimpy from Popeye hides hamburgers.

    Look up the definition of word “hector” and tell me the MSP wasn’t trying to get TBS to hector Hector Roman with the Bulls cap. 

    Hector: verb
    talk to (someone) in a bullying way.
    “she doesn’t hector us about giving up things”
    synonyms: bully, intimidate, browbeat, harass, torment, plague; 

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      November 21, 2018 at 10:31 am

      Wow. I honestly never knew hector was a verb. I don’t recall ever seeing hector used in a sentence.

      • Senator Elizabeth Warren, D-MA
        November 21, 2018 at 11:21 am

        Really? As a young women of color living on a reservation and driving my MG to school with the top down both ways, one of my favorite pastimes was hectoring white people for causing my people to live in such a deplorable state. Hectoring has always been part of my heritage. I am proud to be a Hectoring American Woman of Color, and take this message to Donald Trump on my behalf: I will not stop hectoring until you are gone from the White House.

        Now won’t you spare just $5 to help me in my fight against Donald Trump and the Republican Party?

      • Hector Pindick
        November 21, 2018 at 1:16 pm

        I hector the shit out of Worcester cops. It’s what I was put on earth to do.

    • Beans and Rice
      November 21, 2018 at 12:21 pm

      Hector is a Democrat. Ain’t diversity great

  • BB Bull
    November 21, 2018 at 7:52 am

    They wear that hat to let it be known that they are in need of my services. Drugs cause impotence which is why it’s always the scrubs flying the flag. They ladies still got needs 

  • Sloppy
    November 21, 2018 at 7:41 am

    My guess would be that Turtleboy enjoys hero status among the majority of State Troopers in the trenches who are hardworking and honest, given that he single-handedly took down from above them the corrupt brass in that organization and put it on track to being straightened out.

  • SMH
    November 21, 2018 at 3:03 am

    Does the MSP actually think they have the real identity yet when it seems like all the Dominican heroin dealers have at least one stolen identity/driving license?

  • dan
    November 21, 2018 at 1:27 am

    Can I pay with cash or do I need to have insurance?

  • Wwy
    November 21, 2018 at 1:18 am

    The troops in Afghanistan cultivating the heroin are bulls fans? The Jew worships the shekel and the bull? The state police are bullshitting you? Thank GOD no more chesna then.

    • Touch me where I pee aka “wwy”. Clown.
      November 21, 2018 at 1:40 am

      Wwy your mom sucks my cock and sucks the dicks of a thousand turtle followers. Also; yes. We did dig her up for fun.

      She didn’t fight and went willingly. Her taint was remarkably moist and not rotten trenched. What was your fathers name? Was it Alan or Allen? Nonetheless he’s next. Check the grave fucka. We’re always digging and fuckin.

      No maggots either. Little stench but nothing your family isn’t used to.

      • Liberal Extremist
        November 21, 2018 at 10:11 am

        Thank you for condemning and down voting him. Liberals like us need to stand together against hate and mean words!

      • Hershel
        November 21, 2018 at 10:19 am

        His parents were buried before sundown without being embalmed in an untreated pine box with holes in it just as he will be one day. He doesn’t fool anyone.

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