Mainstream Media Fails

The Turtlegram Is Stealing Money From Few Remaining Subscribers By Charging Them For These $5 Inserts About How To Hail A Cab And Then Not Telling Them

The Turtlegram Is Stealing Money From Few Remaining Subscribers By Charging Them For These $5 Inserts About How To Hail A Cab And Then Not Telling Them

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The Turtlegram and Gazette is a dying newspaper that copies our stories without citing us, tries to use us for page views, fires veteran reporters when they ask for raises, and openly admits that they are the propaganda machine for the McGovern Crime Family. Who pays for a subscription to the Turtlegram anymore? Anyone? I couldn’t name a single person. I mean, to do so you’d have to get a thrill out of literally pissing money away. Ninety-five percent of their content is from the AP and easily accessible from free websites. The other five percent is local stories that we already blogged about. The only thing they’re good for is high school sports. We have destroyed their business model, and thus they’re looking for new revenue streams. Apparently this includes stealing from the few remaining customers they have left:

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Yup, that’s right.  They’re throwing in random $5 and $6 inserts, charging them to your credit card, and then not telling you:

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It’s a very valuable insert though. It teaches you how to grab a cab, how to tip, how to look up directions, and most importantly, how to be a nice person:

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Gee, I wonder why they wouldn’t just try to sell this “Life Skills” insert for $5 a piece separately? Oh, that’s right. No one would buy it. So they have to MAKE you buy it by sneaking it into the fine print that no one has time to read. They actually had to have had a meeting about this. Karen Webber and her cronies must’ve sat around a table and said, “How can we milk more money out of these idiots without them knowing?” And this insert is what they came up with. Sad.

But then again, who wouldn’t find this useful? I know that without the Turtlegram and Gazette, I’d never know how to get a taxi. Oh, that’s right, it’s 2017 and no one hails taxis anymore. Because there’s this thing called “Uber” that’s cheaper and easier. Then again, the taxi business is basically the livery equivalent of the Turtlegram – it’s a dying industry that’s been destroyed by a superior product. Turtleboy is the Uber of the media. It’s why they’re a proud advertiser on our site, just like the Turtlegram:


People generally all seem to agree that this is shit:

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How’d you like to work in customer service for the Turtlegram? You have to convince these people that this is something they WANT. How do you convince anyone that this worthless pile of pooptacular, outdated life advice is worth $5? Good luck with that.

Anyway, the Turtlegram is an antiquated relic of the past that won’t exist much longer. They’ve been around for over 100 years, but yet we’ve already got 20,000 more Facebook followers than them and double their daily page views. We beat them in a landslide in WoMag’s Best Local News Outlet voting. We have their reporters BEGGING us for quotes all the time, but we keep them thirsty for more. No free quotes for easy page views. They have columnists and bloggers over there who can only stay relevant by writing about us and making up lies regarding who they think is the lone “Turtleboy.” Meanwhile we’re cranking out story after story and it’s all free. Sure, every now and then our ad network gets drunk at the wheel and everyone wins a free iPhone. But people know we’ll fix it, and they know our content is unmatched. This is why the Turtleboy Sports Revolution is murdering the Turtlegram and Gazette, and why they’ve resorted to stealing money from their subscribers.

Up next on the killing floor? Boston Globe.


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27 Comment(s)
  • juror seven esq.
    April 27, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    I’ve had this battle with them for two years. First time I noticed that the new start date for renewal didn’t line up with the end date of current subscription. Told me I was wrong, my reply, “I have my copy of the bill, no mistake here.’ They say, ” my mistake that change is to cover the new special inserts you will be receiving, up to 13 a year.” Not impressed.
    They early inserts that came had a lot of paid advertisements in them. Great scam, collect ad revenue and chisel the subscribers at the same time.
    Got my new bill last week and they are at it again. Rolled back my paid thru date by 4 weeks. Should be good until June 10, 2017, now it is May 11, 2017. Further they have the balls to tack on an “Optional” NIE donation of $2.00. Of course they don’t explain what the fuck the NIE is all about. Class act all the way around.

    • WHAT?
      April 27, 2017 at 7:29 pm

      Why renew?

  • Dead hardcopy
    April 26, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    Dying a slow death, speed it up & good riddance.

  • fordsnharleys
    April 26, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    Clive can do a piece about this being racist because only poor black people still subscribe.

  • Hanginpossum
    April 26, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    I actually would have renewed if they hadn’t prevented one of Diane’s articles about Mosaic from getting printed a while back. I used to depend on Dianne to justify my subscription but not anymore

    • True Reality Speaks
      True Reality Speaks
      April 26, 2017 at 5:31 pm

      Dianne’s become unhinged and joined the Journalists Hall of Shame with Clive & Carlo. Her and Clive’s pablum is nothing but pandering to the groupthink liberal sheep. Old Balls should be locked up in a senior home with 24/7 psychiatric care.

      People who use their brains to actually think started dropping the T&G a few years ago – when the Stoddards sold it and it became the Boston Globe – Central MA edition.

    • WHAT?
      April 26, 2017 at 5:52 pm

      Legend has it that Dianne had talent at one time. No one has seen it in thirty years. The same formulaic crap has been mailed in week after week, month after month, year after year for the past thirty years.

      Rumor has it that her talent was left at the bottom of a bottle thirty years ago.

      • WHAT?
        April 26, 2017 at 6:04 pm

        If you want to write a Clive article, just fill in the blanks:

        (blank) (blank) racist (blank) (blank) racism (blank) (blank) racist.
        Repeat until you reach the required word count.

        If Clive interviewed the Pope, it would end up being a story about racism.

        The only one in Clive’s mind who isn’t a racist is Clive himself. He couldn’t POSSIBLY be a racist!

        • WHAT?
          April 26, 2017 at 7:23 pm

          There is a rumor going around that someone found Clive’s notebook, the one that he keeps notes in when he is writing a story. In it was hand written the word “racist” over and over, filling page after page, for three hundred pages.

      • Stinko Feldman
        April 26, 2017 at 7:43 pm

        I can’t imagine who started THAT rumor!

  • Court ♡
    April 26, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    Wow, Thank you so much Turtleboy. My 90yo grandma still gets the Telegram. This ends now. These asshole

  • Steven Stover
    April 26, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Do another “old balls” for laughs. That nitwit is so funny to laugh at.

    • StickinToMyOpinion
      April 26, 2017 at 6:35 pm

      I agree. I had so much fun pissing that fool off.

  • Publius
    April 26, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    This has been going on for some time. Found out while matching up expiration dates. They quietly changed paid thru dates last year to soak subscribers.

  • Publius
    April 26, 2017 at 2:10 pm

    This rip off is absolutely true. And equally true it is in very small fine print on the back of the bill. You would think the Attorney General, if she would stop traveling to Texas to sue Exxon as a political stunt would look into this.

  • Mr. T
    April 26, 2017 at 12:50 pm

    Those illustrations look like they came from pre-World War II era comic strips. I have had T&G subscriptions off & on about six times and they failed every time, usually (lack of) delivery problems. Their customer dis-service is a joke. RIP T&G.

  • Turtlehead
    Your name here*
    April 26, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    If you take out the Boston Globe, I’ll start a movement to get Aaron Hernandez’s getto gayboy to blow you all while Guttermuppet fingers your taint. Plus I’d be really happy because that newspaper is a disgusting pile of garbage….like a lot of the people you write about.

  • Stephen
    April 26, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    I cancelled the telegram a year ago when they said they were raising the price because they were now including a TV guide on Sunday’s. Why would anyone still need a TV guide??

  • Paul Larson
    April 26, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    The Telegram used to be a bastion of intellectualism. They appreciated well thought, elegantly conveyed reader discourse. They rewarded such correspondence accordingly. Here is a letter and a rosewood engraved pen I found:

    Worcester Telegram & Gazette

    Dear Mr. Larson,

    July 2, 2012


    Your letter to The People’s Forum has been selected as the Letter of the Week.
    Your engraved rosewood Telegram & Gazette Letter of the Week pen is enclosed. We hope you enjoy it.

    Chris Sinacola
    Editor of the Editorial Pages

    Of course now the T&G is just an apologist for the undemocratic Democratic Party!

    Paul Larson

  • Strata
    April 26, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    Pretty deceptive. This piece will hurt them further when people find out

  • E. Warren
    April 26, 2017 at 11:57 am

    Crazy. Even more amazing is the apparent dream world those liberal freaks live in. How to hail a cab??? This isn’t Manhattan, it’s Worcester (aka Welfarester). Have you seen the cabs?? They look and smell like dirty Mike and boys died in the back seat. They are driven by sex offenders and junkies. A typical passenger is a prostitute who is promising a blow job to the driver, back at his rooming house that he lives in.

    That’s a life lesson from the T&G? Hailing a cab in welfare town.

  • Maggie the Cat
    April 26, 2017 at 11:49 am

    I was going to say, “what in the world are the people at the Telegram thinking?”, but then I realized…they aren’t (thinking, that is).

    • StickinToMyOpinion
      April 26, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      You got that right Maggie the Cat!

  • The Executioner
    April 26, 2017 at 11:41 am

    Sounds illegal. But I wonder if Healey has the fortitude to pursue…no she don’t. She sucks.

    • Herb Pease
      April 26, 2017 at 7:40 pm

      No, you are wrong. That carpet muncher licks.

  • Telegram & Gazette
    April 26, 2017 at 11:32 am

    And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that meddling Turtleboy and his pesky blog!

    • Cheapo
      April 26, 2017 at 7:55 pm

      Does anyone not read it online for free?

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