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Ahhhh, the mighty cheesehog in it’s natural environment. Running a con on Facebook and telling everyone a boatload of lies to gain sympathy. So majestic.

I’m going to lay a little turtle wisdom on all of you so that you can spot a cheesehog con when. you see one.

Oh look! A tit tat with Bae’s name! Classy AND original!

Lead Bitch at Being Fabulous usually means no job, house, or car, and living off the government. If she said she had a full time job at “being the best mommy to <insert childen’s full names and birthdays with emojis> that means DCF has custody of the offspring.

Tiffany Duperre, a Fall River hog o’ cheese, thinks she’s being smart when she posts this 🔥straight fire 🔥 deal selling an $80 gift card for $35 .

Now, I know that something here is fishy. Usually what trashy criminals will do is steal something, return it without a receipt, and land themselves a gift card. But you can’t buy drugs at Babies R Us unless they changed the policy since the last time I was there. Diesels are great for teething. So, the cheesehog will hock it online, to a friend, to anyone who thinks its a great deal.

A lot of people will scoff at you when you try to run this con. So, you start spilling your life story about why you legitimately need the money. It’s always elaborate, filled with “only God can judge me, you don’t know my life,” and doesn’t make any sense.

In Tiffany’s case, it was a house fire, with a side of domestic abuse, and needing money to live in a hotel.

I checked. No house fire reported. Oh, and these two look really miserable don’t they? After all, they just got “Facebook married” last week!

But wait! You needed $35? But just a couple of days ago you posted this picture, while taking a dump, in what seems to be a Five Guys. That manicure is at least $65! Glitter ain’t cheap and neither is a bacon cheeseburger from that place!

These people never start off this brazen. They’ve tested the waters. Gotten comfortable if you will. If you start looking in to them there are red flags everywhere. 

Like spelling your own name wrong and using your kids for free shit.

Wait, did she just mention a larceny charge? Hold up!

That is a little more than larceny, sweet beef.

Looks like Bae isn’t on the up and up either…

Okay, so she was buying a bunch of shit by fake check…. she probably gave that up, right? Nah. Everybody just ends up with a thousand dollars worth of perfume, multiple copies of special edition DVDs, and several wedding bands when they aren’t really married.

Those shoes aren’t even worn. Something tells me that Ms. Tiffany got herself a job at a department store and robbed the place blind.

So, the next time you see a con in progress you can spot all the red flags!

When will these people learn that Turtleboy is always watching?

This has been a public service announcement by South Shore Turtle Girl.

You’re welcome.

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