This Bloated Goothpoon Glutmuffin Begging For Money Online So She Can Continue Living In A Motel With Her “Emotional Support” Cat Is A Shining Example Of So Many Reasons Humanity Is Probably Doomed
Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
I’m going to get nostalgic for a moment, and reminiscence on one of the very first reasons I ultimately fell out of my left-wing crowd: welfare. I don’t love it. The idea that people too lazy to work can live an entire marginal lifetime off the scraps the government throws at this has always seemed counter-intuitive and demeaning to all parties involved to me. If you were to myopically look at the population of social welfare entitlement recipients, I believe you would find the closest thing in America to a modern day communist hell – hardworking families who just don’t earn quite enough, single mothers going through a transition and members of the workforce who were legitimately pushed out by disability are all regulated to struggling even with assistance to allow for useless gutterslugs to live their entire lives in complacent abject poverty. And everything is shit. If that’s not the picture of a broken system, I don’t know what is. There is no excuse for systemically enabling these people. There’s no excuse for being one of these people. We don’t have a social “safety net” – it’s a dredge and anchor.
Anyway, as much as I hate the current welfare system, something has emerged that I actually find more disdainful: Gofundme. At least with welfare you are expected to fill out some forms and get your ass of the couch to get some stamps to mail them back, or to a fax machine, at least once a year. You’re asked qualifying questions you are legally expected to answer honestly, and once in a while the state might even check on those answers. But Gofundme is the most shameless display of helpless ineptitude to ever exist. It’s panhandling, without the exposure to the elements and disapproving glares. From the comfort of your very own ass-molded indent in your Mountain dew stained couch, you can beg for money from unsuspecting strangers armed with nothing more than your cheeto dust stained fingertips and whatever insane, sad sack tale pops into your head. It used to be you’d see a shivering junkbox clutching a cardboard sign in the middle of a busy intersection in January, look at his blue, snot covered lips and think “Nope, I do NOT want to be that.” Now you can do the same essential thing; but warm, comfortable and with a great looking filter on your mug. People are going to defend you. Welfare has finite limitations in it’s funding – Gofundme is a wonderland full of potential, with seemingly infinite stupid, gullible strangers willing to get out their credit cards and donate to the downfall of American work ethic, productivity and dignity.
Gofundme is where shit like this doesn’t just exist, it fucking
“I really don’t like putting my personal life on the internet….”
But here you are, putting your personal failures right out there.
“My mother has been stretching her funds to try and keep me at the Baymont Inn and Suites….”
I’m sure she has zero regrets in her own life.
“Due to my mental and physical health a shelter is really not the ideal situation for me….”
But due to your current financial situation, it is.
Jesus H Christ. The fact that this chick does not acutely see the shame in being an apparently able bodied, no more than 30 year old woman who is temporarily living in a hotel room on her mother’s dime (to the detriment of her mother’s own life, at that) with no long term plan outside of collecting SSI, with a fucking CAT in tow enough to not publicly admit it, disturbs me. And the entire plea for help just drips with “No judgement, please.” Pro tip, you homeless heifer – If you don’t want to be judged negatively, either grow up and be a productive member of society or shut the fuck up already. Really. Look at what we’re dealing with here.
But God forbid Mcheartattack with fleas has to go to a homeless shelter! I mean, there are people literally starving to death in shithole third world countries who fully understand that clean drinking water isn’t a basic human right, just because they lost the geographic and genetic lottery at birth. No other reason than that. But we should all feel bad for this sad cow
Because her feelings make it hard to bag groceries for $12 an hour. Seems legit. And as an added bonus, she’s one of those “I need my service animal” slugrakes, too. Right next to my hatred of welfare sits my hatred of that fucking scam.
Why does anyone get a pet, if not for the companionship and emotional support they offer? Do you really thing that mongoloid tub of fat and feeling said to herself, “Oh, look at this thing”:
“I have always wanted to spend a shitton of money on vet bills, food, grooming and preventative medications. I have always wanted to clean another creatures shit out of a box/the yard. This alone would make me truly happy.”
No. You saw the cat, thought it was cute, and decided you wanted it to fill that remaining sliver of a void chocolate cream pie and cheese whizz does not. Most people probably don’t like you all that much, but this creature literally has no other resources to feed itself other than your sorry ass, so it tolerates you. Therefore you feel “supported”. That is a pet. Because you feel entitled to that pet, property owners be damned, you figured out your way around a system that literally does not care about the actual merits of your claim soas to stay woke and “inclusive”. You love that no one is legally allowed to scrutinize your claim to “need” this pet, because at your core you too know it’s bullshit.
You get a two for one special with an ESA, too. It’s validation that you are indeed, “disabled”. Not so disabled as to prevent you from the enjoyments of life to which you feel entitled, of course. Just too disabled to work or assume any adult responsibility. And who am I even kidding? This broad surely is not providing all of the aforementioned necessities to that animal. She can’t even support herself.
That is the face of a creature wondering how the hell it’s life turned out the way it has. Tough break, kitty.
Not only is this shit entitled, scummy and self victimizing, it’s also pretty shitty to the cat. Pets are kind of like children – they rely on whoever assumes dominion over their lives for literally every aspect of their survival. Can you imagine trying this shit with children? “I can’t take care of myself in even the smallest scope of the concept – I need my emotional support child.” That’s a loss of custody, not a goddamn certificate to keep them no matter what.
And with this emogoon cryface, I couldn’t even venture the extent of her relationship with that cat because from the outside it looks pretty fucking weird. Definitely does not appear to be helping her overall stability.
But, anyway, gutterskunk, this is my open letter to you. I won’t be donating a cent to your vagrant fund, but let me give you a tip – No amount of online donations or social security checks is going to buy you the life skills you need to actually survive in this world. Though I am sure once your stupid online attempts tank you will scramble to get your greasy sausage mitts around whatever government cash you can grab, in the long run, you’re losing. You and so many other of your “special”, “struggling”, entitled friends will never know the pride in getting through a full 24 hours on your own two feet, not owing anything to anyone. You will never have the dignity that comes with offering more to society than you take away from it, or even really breaking even. You have relegated your own life to a level of degradation that others would find soul crushing, and you have accepted this thus far. You are but one of many, but today you are the star; because you so clearly show an internal distinction that separates the wanting from the willing – instead of cleaning up and climbing out of the mess you have created for yourself, and maybe even learning something in the process, you roll over and lay out crying in your own shit.
The only thing I have any sympathy for here would be that cat – and I don’t even like cats. But he’s forced to migrate from scum motel to scum motel with this face
And that’s fucking tragic.