This Is Why Turtleboy Does Not Go Grocery Shopping In Worcester

Meanwhile at the Price Chopper on Cambridge Street…….

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While scrolling through my timeline today I was reminded why I don’t go grocery shopping in Worcester, especially at the Price Chopper on Cambridge Street:


Zero. Fucks. Given.

When you go shopping for anything on Cambridge Street, you’re basically asking to see something like this. The real crime here are the unspeakable hate crimes against the pie crust. You can be a ratchet in public all you want. But don’t you dare ruin a perfectly good pie crust.

Here’s the explanation that came with the picture:

“Im struggling right now. Almost a year ago to the damn day I wrote a status about this woman cooling her ass cheeks on the pie crust. Here we are. Again. Same store, same aisle, same. fucking. asshole.  I need to shop somewhere else or stop buying dairy. I don’t know. Either way, I’ll never unsee this image and neither will you.”

Nothing about this is surprising. Guarantee this is a regular part of her routine at this point, and the employees at Price Chopper have come to terms with it. Sometimes you just have to cool your ass cheeks on pie crust. Where else are you gonna go when your buns are on fire? Produce? Doubtful.

The best part about this picture is how the woman has zero shame doing this in public. I mean, most people would be ashamed to do something like this. Especially since she’s literally destroying hundreds of dollars worth of food every time she does it. Everything her magical ass touches has to be incinerated immediately afterwards. If it’s not then the Plague will probably come back. She simply doesn’t give a shit. She will park her ass wherever she wants to whenever she wants to do it.

What I don’t get is why she’s at Price Chopper. If she went to Wal-Mart she could skooter all around on those carts that are supposed to be for the disabled but are really just used by “plus-sized” people who will do anything to avoid exercise. Those frozen pies must feel simply orgasmic on your cheeks. There’s no other explanation as to why she’d put herself through this.



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47 Comment(s)
  • TBS = Assholes
    December 6, 2016 at 7:47 am

    I know this is way to old to be read by anyone, but hopefully TBS will see it.

    That so called blog was just plain rude! I am seriously considering forgetting about TBS altogether. I can see picking on SJWs, criminals, politicians, etc., but why pick on this poor woman? Because she’s very obese? She is obviously sitting because she is in poor health. Probably has trouble walking or breathing. That is no reason to label her lazy. I feel bad for her. I would have stopped to ask her if she needed help, but not the TBS. They just invaded her privacy and took her picture, only to make fun of and ridicule her. Absolutely disgusting! Actually, I have changed my mind. I AM going to stop reading TBS. I will not condone this type of treatment of people. And I am the FURTHEST thing from a SJW you will find.

    • TBS = Assholes
      December 6, 2016 at 7:52 am

      Changed my mind. There IS food under her ass. That is not acceptable, but neither is persecuting her for her weight or assumed socio-economic status. Be kinder TBS. Attack the assholes that deserve it, and stop taking pictures of unsuspecting people.

      • Diane Woods emerson
        December 24, 2016 at 10:32 am

        It would be shaming if TBS didnt block out her face. And he doesnt have to. Anyone in public can be photographed or video taped. You dont have the right to privacy when you are in public or in view of the public. Are you familiar with paparazzi ? and maybe people need more shaming , nothing else seems to work.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    Pissin' myself
    December 5, 2016 at 5:31 pm

    I wouldnt are if it was a skinny person, a purple person or a fucking alien, squishing the food is unacceptable period. And **ps i think i am
    Still laughing and everytime i show someone the story i start laughing again. Literally lmao!!!

  • whatevuh
    December 2, 2016 at 6:00 pm

    I’m sure there are places she can’t reach with a wash cloth, yukkkkk

    • BobnMic's Gerbil
      December 3, 2016 at 4:13 pm

      You make the assumption that she ever washes. That’s a big conclusion to jump to.

  • Wabbitt
    December 2, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    As nasty as Webster is, at least I’ve never caught any of the local ham planets in Price Chopper relaxing on top of the shredded cheese.

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      December 2, 2016 at 8:52 pm

      “Ham planet” OMG, thats hilarious. Can’t wait to use it in a sentence.

  • BBW safe cool-down zone
    December 2, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    Market Basket is the way to go. Price Chopper’s influence here, would never allow it in the city. Also, that Cambridge st. Price Chopper is about the cleanest inside and outside in the area. Very well designed , lots of space. Can cool your butt down too !

  • ADdm
    December 2, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Wow….now I’m kind of glad that Price Chopper isn’t open 24 hours like it used to be. This is also a real sanitary problem as well. One visit by the health inspector would probably get them a hefty fine.

    BTW, the Cambridge St. Price Chopper has an indoor cafe with chairs. If she’s that exhausted then why the hell doesn’t she park her big sweaty ass over there?

  • E.Warren
    December 2, 2016 at 11:22 am

    After this moron empties their EBT card in the junk food isle they can call an ambulance for a ride home….compliments of MASShealth.

    Welfare, the gift that just keeps giving. Eliminate welfare and all this goes away tomorrow.

    • Carlos Danger
      December 2, 2016 at 5:20 pm

      If you dont work, you don’t eat. Problem solved.

  • Cambridge St Pies
    December 2, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Well shit, that’s the grocery store I usually go to. Looks like I gotta wait a few weeks before buying anything in that aisle.

  • Duke Westwood
    December 2, 2016 at 9:30 am

    There is a woman like this at the Big Y in Southbridge every few days… She is huge. She refers to these shopping trips as her “exercise”. She walks an aisle and then finds a place to sit down. I was behind her at the check out line a week or so ago, and she stunk… Like B.O., rotten cabbage, and sour milk. And she was breathing like she just ran a marathon. Took a peek in her cart, it was all processed crap, bagged snacks, full sugar soda, multiple packages of cookies…. Not a fruit or vegetable in sight.

  • Chris From Georgia
    December 2, 2016 at 9:16 am

    Down here in the Atlanta area the Super Walmart’s offer a service where you place your grocery order online, select a pick time then drive to the store and some one will load the groceries in the car for you. No extra charge for this and most importantly, my wife loves it. there are three other major chain grocery stores here in a town much smaller than Worcester. Amazing what competition will do.

  • JL
    December 2, 2016 at 7:48 am

    People like this need to have a parking spot as far away from the doors as possible and labeled FAT ASS PARKING ONLY. I am so sick of these fucking people with their handicap tags just because they are over weight.

  • JL
    December 2, 2016 at 7:43 am

    Looks like the pie crusts will be flaky

  • Mediocrity
    December 2, 2016 at 6:55 am

    Maybe she has a thing for the Pillsbury Doughboy

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    December 2, 2016 at 6:30 am

    Driving down Cambridge St is like you’re in some other country, a 3rd world country. Stay classy Worcester

    • Camp st. rocks
      December 2, 2016 at 11:14 pm

      Just imagine if it was a real city.

  • AFDC
    December 2, 2016 at 5:53 am

    There’s still chalk outlines on the floor there to mark where the victims were at Price-Rite.

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    December 2, 2016 at 2:12 am

    I have to admit, when I first saw the story, I just assumed it was at Price Rite… can you blame me?

  • Ms. Lotta Leadpipe
    December 1, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    Hate her gut.

  • Twat waffle
    December 1, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    It’s not nice to body shame TB. I bet you wouldn’t like it, if you were caught naked and everyone laughed at your tiny terminator. Lmao!

    • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
      December 3, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      Everybody laughs at mine. You get used to it after a while.

  • Shackleford
    December 1, 2016 at 10:45 pm

    If you aren’t doing Peapod from Stop and Shop then you’re an idiot. It’s cheap, you can usually find a coupon too. Drivers will walk it into your house for you, small tip and you’re good to go. Grocery shopping is poor peoples shit.

    • Dgaf
      December 1, 2016 at 10:58 pm

      They always forget something, but it’s worth it for being so convenient

      • Shackleford
        December 1, 2016 at 11:29 pm

        Leave Peapod alone!

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      December 2, 2016 at 12:03 am

      I tried peapod in the past, and I just don’t like the service. It’s extremely convenient but they NEVER choose the best quality meat or produce. I lost count of how many times I had received steaks that had a sell by date in 24 hours, or ribeyes that had zero karbeling and still being charged $25 for it… oh and bruised fruit, wilted herbs, ect… The concept is wonderful, but the shoppers are horrible. It’s also a headache going down the list to make sure they didn’t forget anything!

      P.S. Turtleboy, this is nothing… In Big Y in Holden, I was walking into the restroom and an employee stopped me and said she was about to clean, and I asked her if I can go first… Her response? Miss, there is feces all over the floor in here, I mean everywhere and a poop handprint on the door.

      Okaaaaay…. Guess I’ll hold it in. Holden Big Y where you don’t expect people to shit all over the floor like animals.

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        December 2, 2016 at 12:04 am


      • Shackleford
        December 2, 2016 at 12:17 am

        Well there’s your problem, buying meat at stop and shop. Find a butcher.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          December 2, 2016 at 12:26 am

          I have since then! I use S&S on West Boylston Street, good for produce too.

          • Devils Mouthpiece
            December 2, 2016 at 6:21 am

            Agreed – S&S on West Boylston has pretty good meats most the time and reasonable produce. Although for steak and fish we hit Wegmans.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          December 2, 2016 at 12:36 am

          Was going to pull a Shackleford and post a sexual innuendo about butchers and steaks but I’m not that creative…lol

          • Shackleford
            December 2, 2016 at 1:47 am

            I’ll tenderize your loins…

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            December 2, 2016 at 12:14 pm

            Lmao… Exactly what I was talking about Shackleford!

            Devils Mouthpiece, Wegmans is also great for their unique and hard to find deli items like culatello, speck, porchetta, sliced chorizo, ect. Also their produce like purple as well as orange cauliflower. The place is pretty awesome. Oh and figs, good luck finding those anywhere else!!

          • Turd Burglestein
            December 3, 2016 at 4:07 pm

            I have a fig tree in my front yard. Figs are awesome.

      • Reddog
        December 2, 2016 at 11:38 pm

        Maybe turd was burglesteining in the ladies room. If he feels like a woman,then it’s legal.

        • Turd Burglestein
          December 3, 2016 at 4:08 pm

          Wasn’t me. I always make a clean getaway. No poop handprints left behind…not even a nibblet.

    • Two Ton Tuba
      December 2, 2016 at 5:46 am

      If you THINK that Price Chopper tosses that poor victimized product away, you’ve got another thing coming. Those crusts went home for Thanksgiving.

      • Diane Woods emerson
        December 5, 2016 at 5:34 pm

        And thanksgiving morning grandma is confused why her pie crusts are all flat and fucked up
        In the box. Lmao

    • Michael
      December 2, 2016 at 8:31 am

      My wife and I tried Peapod about ten years ago. The advertisements and promotional materials implied that a small little Peapod van would come to deliver our groceries. Were we ever wrong! Instead, a HUGE S&S box truck came to deliver our order (it was a rather small order). The truck was so big that it had to park halfway on the sidewalk due to how narrow our street is. The neighbors must have thought we were opening up our own grocery store. My wife and I were embarrassed and vowed never again to use the Peapod service. There was absolutely no need to have a truck that size deliver such a small order and cause a spectacle like that.

      • Shackleford
        December 2, 2016 at 12:25 pm

        Hello? McFly? You think they ship single small orders one at a time? Do you ever purchase fuel? They deliver 5, 10, 20 at a time, on a route. Sorry they can’t spend the time, money, fuel to deliver you groceries in a cute little vehicle. Being embarrassed by a box truck is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever heard.

        • Wabbitt
          December 2, 2016 at 4:57 pm

          Guaranteed Michael has a “I’m with her” bumper sticker.

          • PHead
            December 2, 2016 at 5:15 pm

            On a Prius or Subaru ?

        • Peapod frightened me
          December 2, 2016 at 5:13 pm

          He was triggered by a truck.

    • Davidwashere
      December 2, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Gaffney should definitely approve a parking spot for her. She may not even use it, maybe her relatives will, maybe she doesn’t even drive. But, as long as she sends him a doctors note she should be good. Thank you city of Worcester taxpayers…your a bunch of troopa’s!

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