Breaking news – the town of Webster has announced that they have a new official mascot –
On 10/12/2016 at approximately 2:45 PM, Troop D Troopers arrested Katelyn Kaeppel (w/f 01/11/1991) with a last known address of #275 Main Street, Webster, MA. Kaeppel was hiding in a cemetery off of Cook Hill Road in Killingly and was arrested on the strength of five outstanding warrants for her arrest for failure to appear. Kaeppel was transported to Troop D and held on a combined bond of $20,000 cash/surety and will appear in Danielson Superior Court on 10/13/2016.
If the cops find you hiding out in a Killingly cemetery because you have a shoebox full of outstanding warrants, then there’s at least a 95% chance you were a Webster prom queen at one point in your life. I guess the cemetery was a good place for her to hide out though. She’ll fit right in there.
As usual the “nothing is ever anyone’s fault because everything is a disease” crowd has come out in full force to defend this young lady:
Wait…..did she just compare this woman to a cancer patient? Newsflash Dr. Sue – people who are dying of cancer didn’t choose to get cancer. That’s probably the most insulting thing you can say about cancer patients. We all know people who have died from cancer. People who have done everything right their entire life. People who eat right, exercise, and always return their library books on time. It makes no sense, and it’s not fair at all, but it happens. To compare that to a person who willingly injected poison into their body repeatedly is the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard.
I understand that heroin addicts might be physically and mentally addicted in ways that people who haven’t been addicted can never understand. But at one point they willingly made the choice to give it a shot because drugs are cool. At least they were cool until you woke up in a graveyard in Killingly and ended up on Turtleboy.
Anyway, the Webster graveyard prom queen seems like a real winner:
Her engagement photos are the most Webster thing you will ever see:
Her body is covered in tattoos because she ain’t no punk bitch:
She is a “small business owner”:
And perhaps most ironically she doesn’t like it when people steal or sell drugs:
But you know why I feel no sympathy for this girl? Because this is what she posts on Facebook when she’s clean:
Anyone who subscribes to cop block is by definition, an asshole. It’s just a bunch of losers in their mother’s basements whose ex-girlfriends are getting drilled by cops. Drugs didn’t put her holed up in a Killingly graveyard – Karma did.
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