All-Star Criminals

Mass Health Mastadon Admits To Being In Truck With Previously Turtleboy Famous Gutter Swine Who Is Wanted By Police After Hijacking Car At Gun Point, Leading Webster And MSP On High Speech Chase Into Worcester

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All-Star Criminals

Gina “Fleestone Light” Giovangelo, Who Can’t Drive Because She Killed A Woman While Drunk In 2010 And Recently Led Cops On 6 Day Manhunt, Is Looking For Free Baby Shit In Wellesley Because Two Raw Dog Trophies Isn’t Enough 

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Turtleboy Investigates

Crack Smoking Deadbeat Dad Mark Prince Who Screwed Webster Bartender Out Of Check Owes $34K In Child Support, Pretends To Have Cancer, Threatens Suicide, Calls Daughter Liar, Won’t Stop Commenting And Messaging Us

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Nudniks

Married “Reformed” Criminal Crusticle On Date With Mistress At Webster Bar Stiffs Bartender On Tab, Leaves Phone Number For Bartender To Call Him After Hitting On Her And Praying To Hennessy Gods In Front Of Mistress 

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All-Star Criminals

Webster Rapper’s Brother Accurately Predicts Turtleboy Debut When He Spends Father Day With Pa Dukes And Big Bro In Jail Cell After Crack House Gets Busted And Dad Fights Cops At WPD Station With Car Full Of Crack Cocaine

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