All-Star Criminals

Fuzzy Grape Felatio Bandit And The Doucherocket Currently Plowing Her Dip Out On $100 Bill At Dudley Chinese Restaurant Even Though She Collects Food Stamps And Rides The Pole In Webster

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Phil Prentiss to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:




 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.

 

A big reason we fight to stay on Facebook is that it’s such a powerful tool for sharing information. And one of my favorite Facebook things is when restaurants like Yummy’s in Dudley publicly shames people who chew and screw……


Yummy’s is right on Rt. 197 near the four corners, which is basically an intersection of Dudley, Southbridge, Woodstock CT, and Thompson CT. It also connects directly to Webster if you go east. If you saw something like this shared in Lunenburg you’d immediately be able to say, “those mother fuckers are from Fitchburg.” But pretty much no matter where these two crotch muffins fled they’d have the ability of blending in.

The fucked up part about this is that they ran that bill up to over $100 for two people. They didn’t just order dinner, they probably got a shitload of scorpion bowls and appetizers too. And they knew the entire time they were doing so that they had no intention of paying the bill.

But yea, if you wear designer sunglasses that you purchased from a Lebanese gypsy at the Auburn Mall, and t-shirts like this to chew and screw:

Chance that you’re a well known doouchrocket are abnormally high. And in the least surprising news ever, everyone knew who they were, and she’s a stripper at the Fuzzy Grape….

You can call it Mario’s Showplace if you want, but it will always be the Fuzzy Grape to me.

Keith Therrien and Shannon Dancause have evidently left a long trail of destruction behind them, which is the least surprising news ever. According to some her exploits put her in Fall River Guttermuppet territory on the ratchet meter:

Indeed she does seem to have a littler of children, who she started firing out of her baby cannon at the ripe old age of 16. She had a boyfriend for a while who was playing stepdad….

So North Groversnerdale it hurts.

He used to make her breakfast in bed and helped her out with her “disease”:

And as you can see now that she’s on Turtleboy, she likely went right back to hitting the sauce as soon as the yogurt slinger got out of her life.

Brandon may or may not have hacked her old Facebook page, prompting her to get a new Facebook page:

And when Brandon denied the charges all of a sudden his stepdaughter showed up to blow up his spot….

According to Paige, Brandon also stole her Mom’s food stamps card…

Oh good, she’s on the government dole as well. Glad to see that the taxpayer’s financing her grocery bill isn’t enough for her, because she still wants to eat out. Guess those tips that greasy sweathogs from Oxford put into your G-string don’t count as reported income.

Keith Therrien has an assortment of Google trophies himself:

So obviously she has great taste in men, and this was probably not her first chew and screw. Nice to see she’s graduated from deadbeats who steal her EBT card to drug trafficking dope fiends who wear “I flexed and the sleeves fell off” t-shirts.

Question – do you lose your job for something like this if you’re a stripper? I know most places probably would. But do strip clubs honestly care? Half the people they employ are there to finance their Tony Yayo habits anyway. It’s not like you have to pass a CORI check to work the day shift at a run down strip on Route 20. I can’t imagine that if Sweaty Betty’s, the King’s Inn, the Fuzzy Grape, and Centerfold’s started doing aggressive background checks they’d have much of an applicant pool to work with. Either way, she is the most Webster stripper ever:

I feel bad for guys who go to strip clubs and have to turn down these chicks for lap dances. It’s always so awkward. But if you go to the Fuzzy Grape and you can have your pick of the GED Express, and they all cost the same amount, obviously you’re not gonna choose the broken down gas guzzler with the “Don’t forget to love yourself” tattoo.

Hey Shannon, don’t forget to pay your bill next time you go out for Chinese food. Great way to stay off of Turtleboy.

21 Comment(s)
  • H
    September 25, 2018 at 3:21 pm

    Funny she makes the first FB profile private but doesn’t give a flying fentanyl that her second one is open for all to see!

  • August 29, 2018 at 11:20 pm

    I Invision the Asian woman on the phone describing him to the cops

    911, what’s your emergency
    Asian woman, this guy rob me.
    911, what does he look like
    Asian woman, ahhh I tell you everyting, I tell you everyting, he look a like a man
    911, you told me he was a man already ma’am
    Asian woman, but he look a like a man.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 27, 2018 at 9:17 pm

    The blue-eyed skeezer is better looking…marginally. I’d wager she’s another used up cooter salesma…salesperso…saleswoman. Free tramp stamps…tomorrow.

  • cunt evaluator
    August 27, 2018 at 9:11 pm

    I don’t care about her kids or criminal offenses. Pussy is pussy. If she’s offering up the tuna canal, id partake. It seems like she prefers raw dog so thats cool, as long as she don’t boot up or roll up a dollar bill. Pump and dump and physically make her swallow plan b. No vomiting. And yea I might have to make a trip to the fuzzy grape

  • Not wid my dick
    August 27, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    The stank emanating from that tuna box must be overwhelming………. there’s always the chocolate starfish If ya wrap it tight in latex I guess…..jus sayin…….

  • Pimping Aint Easy
    August 27, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    I’m beginning to understand why people like Saddam Hussein do the things they do. Only so much one tyrant can handle in a country not to mention Massachusetts.

  • Kim Un Jong
    August 27, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    I wouldn’t even stuff a Monopoly $1 into her stocking

  • Judge dread
    August 27, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    I bet one of them is on probation. Once 5e chargers are rendered and they are convicted, they will be rewarded for violating probation with…. more probation. It is mass after all.

  • Walter "Is it Dinner" Bird
    August 27, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    Talk about high mileage. She is so used up her ad in CL says Rebuilt Pussy. Resleeved the gash with a ten pound ham then pulled the bone out.

    • Clitty Litter
      August 27, 2018 at 8:00 pm

      That’s the funniest shit I heard all day. Great visual.

  • TMHS
    August 27, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    Omg! Shannon with the infamous eye brows! I knew she’d make it on TB one day. Her main baby daddy is a fella who goes by the name of Michael Fournier. Both Shannon and Mike have extensive criminal history. Mike was in jail for a while. Shannon has lost her kids many times. I believe Brandon is just a recent ex who did get her  pregnant. You should continue to look into her…… There’s so much to write about.

  • Get some self worth would ya fellas
    August 27, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    Is anyone out there actually willing to admit they paid to see this thing naked?

    • Hughbo Mont
      August 27, 2018 at 2:25 pm

      That’s what I was thinking. And the tat “saying” above the titty is the current tramp stamp.

  • KJDS
    August 27, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    Please stop doing that to your eyebrows. Just stop.

  • Ummmm excuse me can you keep your crabs to yourself
    August 27, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    She should also get a tattoo that says don’t forget to bathe yourself.

    God she looks disgusting….my guess is she bolted that Chinese restaurant because when she asked for crab Rangoon the waiter replied “why you want fake crab meet….real crabs are jumping off you”

  • Clitty Litter
    August 27, 2018 at 11:50 am

    I was putting Sacajaweas in her crack but they kept falling out.

  • Mike
    August 27, 2018 at 11:06 am

    I feel like this chick sharts a lot.

  • Stunt Penis
    August 27, 2018 at 11:05 am

    I would give her dollar bills to put her clothes back on

  • i turn down lap dances
    August 27, 2018 at 11:00 am

    i went to high school with her

    • vicx1
      August 27, 2018 at 12:43 pm

      Did you explore her tunnel as well? Did you give her a taste of yourself? More details ….

      • i pass up lapdances
        August 27, 2018 at 6:52 pm

        Actually yes i did lol many years ago

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?