WTF

This Uxbridge Stripper Mom Who Will Clean Your House Naked For $300 With Some Touching Seems Like A Great Value

This Uxbridge Stripper Mom Who Will Clean Your House Naked For $300 With Some Touching Seems Like A Great Value

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The turtle house could use some cleaning, and Mrs. Turtleboy and I are too busy to keep up with the latest disaster Turtleboy Jr. and Turtle Princess create on a daily basis. Luckily we may have found a solution with this Craig’s List ad:

So let me get this straight. You’re a hot mom who will clean my house…….naked? You offer a “speak or be silent” option, which is something every married man in America would trade in their kid’s college fund to pay for. Touching is “negotiable,” and all of this ranges from $75-300? This chick has to be a gravy dumpster right?

Turns out her name is Milla Chavaune, she’s from Uxbridge, and with Mrs. Turtleboy’s blessing we will be hiring her to clean up our house shortly:

 

She’s got a little Rachel Starr in her. I like it.

She’s also experienced with her clothes off, and is an alumni of the Riviera Club:

And according to Milla, business is good:

The most ratchet part of this is how this chick treats herself like the Wal-Mart of naked cleaning ladies. I’m sorry, but two hours of work, plus commuting, and only leaving there with $200 seems well below market rate. Attorney Dick N. Vulva Esq. makes more than that in an hour writing us a cease and desist letter.

Not everyone is a fan though. Mostly salty chicks:

Uh-oh!! Drama!!

Shots fired!!

And according to Milla that $300 does NOT come with a complementary face frosting:

I don’t understand why chicks gotta be hating on each other like that. Mandy’s a prim lookin star gazer herself:

And I’m sure the jobs she’s gotten have had NOTHING to do with her looks either, so she’s totally one to judge.

Anyway, gotta run this one by Mrs. Turtleboy, but I think the $300 package sounds the most appealing. The question is, how many referrals is this chick gonna get from this blog? Hook it up with 10% girl. Or at least advertise on our site for a couple months. We could use a naked cleaning lady ad on Turtleboy Sports. Just sayin.

 

 

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20 Comment(s)
  • June 11, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    WOULD NOT REPEAT: I hired this woman. But for some reason the beverage she gave me caused me to fall asleep. When I came to, I was in a bathtub full of ice, and a kidney was missing.

  • Big Raymond
    May 27, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    If you’re going to clean for strangers in the nude and allow touching or jiggle behind the bar for tips Mandy and Milla may as well consider setting up a home studio and doing some type of legal pay-to-view cam-girl porn, solo, partial nudity, whatever. More money, no strangers, less risk… don’t even have to drive in the snow.

    Personally I’d like to see Mandy and Milla make up their differences on the Mandy-Milla cam the first show could be a staged cat-fight devolving into a.. well you know. Maybe a cameo from dispatch-girl, don’t look at me like that, it’s only a suggestion.

    • Big Raymond
      May 27, 2017 at 2:07 pm

      TB you have to find the prince charming these two are fighting over.

  • Itsjustme
    May 26, 2017 at 8:38 pm

    I wonder if it’s safer driving down a multi-lane interstate texting or taken a picture of the cash you just made “cleaning” some pervs apartment?

  • Trashidentifier
    May 26, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    She’s one of the ones who will always post about her deadbeat baby daddies (yes – plural) she wonders why she’s a single mom

  • Brian Cook
    May 26, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Holy Ballbag Bat Man…. that Mandy Hicks is one hawt piece….. She is gorgeous

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    May 26, 2017 at 1:15 pm

    Tits aren’t big enough. Next.

  • tngsucks
    May 26, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Did I miss the part about her company being bonded?

  • Johnny5
    May 26, 2017 at 10:24 am

    I like Mandy Hicks

  • A John they'd call me?
    May 26, 2017 at 9:51 am

    I have to comment because I’ve hired her , it peaked my interest at first. Won’t be hiring her again though! Felt rushed, awkward and no cleaning gets done barely besides my trash emptied. Plus she does meet up with other guys before she sees you. That was a turn off ! Where has those lips been … Once she gets the money she’ll hop on her phone and scurry out the house. Figuring now after reading the comments probably to meet her dealer. Have to double check to make sure nothing was stolen. No thanks. One star .

    • North Country Turtle Rider
      May 26, 2017 at 10:04 am

      Hand job at least?

  • Some one she knows
    May 26, 2017 at 8:01 am

    Those pics are old she is a nasty piece of work. She does weird shit like that to support her All you can Smoke and Shoot Crack Diet. lol…… Dont hire unless u want ur shit stolen.

  • SickOfAllJunkies
    May 26, 2017 at 7:28 am

    Well at least junkie is trying to work for her dope money instead of steal it. I can only imagine what her little boys will say about Moms “buissness” someday…

  • White Pride White Power
    May 26, 2017 at 6:54 am

    Ewww… No thank you! Wouldn’t pay one red cent to see that!

    Now if Murder Moe Max wants to scoop shit outta the litter box with his cock out, or Tubby Bill Harvey wants to change my Depends in his Hanes tighty-whities, or Bart Nicolo wants to do some pantsless carpentry… now I’m whipping out the checkbook and burning down that SSI deposit.

  • Independent Thinker
    May 26, 2017 at 5:18 am

    Got to give her credit for coming up with this unique business plan. Hope it works for her.

    I also like the fact that she’s willing to work instead of having a go-fund-me page. Best of luck to her.

    • UsualSuspect
      May 26, 2017 at 9:11 am

      Not really unique, Kev started this business on Showtime’s Shameless with V and Svetlana cleaning nude. Get with it!

  • KayD
    May 25, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    So long as the cleaning services stay, ahem, clean, the only thing ratchet there is the random Facebook haters. If I had some extra cash to spend I’d hire her myself, I could use another pair of hands cleaning up around here some weekends. No need to get buck, I’ve seen my own lady bits often enough there’s no mystery left.

  • Mr Butthurt
    May 25, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    Would pay

  • Steven Stover
    May 25, 2017 at 10:02 pm

    Senior Citizen discounts???

    • Gas Pipe
      May 26, 2017 at 9:07 am

      I can see the TBS follow up story already. Some bozo actually falls for this scam, and then has his house robbed while being cleaned, or after it’s been cased during the so called cleaning.

      Ratchet Capitalism at its finest.

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