Hoodrat Heroes

Thotzilla Goes Full Hoodbunny On Über Driver, Threatens To Say He Hit And Tried To Rape Her, All Because He Didn’t Have An IPhone Charger – First Person Who Gives Us Her Name Gets A Prize

Have you seen this viral video yet? The first person to give us this bitch’s name gets a gift card.

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I have no idea what the hell was going on this past week but there have been crazy bitches everywhere. Anna Storelli started the madness by having a mental breakdown in California over two people kissing. Less than a week later, this ratchet douchecanoe pops off in the Bronx. Seems her Uber driver didn’t have an iPhone charger and she went full hoodrat. Watch it here:

I want to know who this chick is. I was up until three last night trying to find her. If you know her, and you’re the first one to send us an anonymous PM to the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page. I’m offering free swag in the form of T-Shirts if you’ve got her name. Bonus points if you’re her friend on Facebook – and can give me some good screenshots – I’ll send you a $25 gift card to the Cheesecake Factory. 

Totally serious. I want this girl’s name. Bad. It’s completely anonymous. Y’all know you love some cheesecake.

Anyways, let’s do the breakdown of this Thotzilla:

As I mentioned before, this started over her phone dying and the driver, who may or may not be Über Gandhi, not having an iPhone charger.

She starts screaming at him, in what sounds like a hoodrat mantra, “CALL THE COPSCALLTHECOPSCALLTHEFUCKINCOPS,” all because he wants her to get this mental case out of his fucking car. He’s just like WTAF?

Then she starts wailing about how she’s going to say that he hit her. Alright, if this was me I would have pulled the car over, ripped her out by her fucked up weave, and curb-stomped her. Or fed her trashy ass a snickers. However, this bitch ain’t Aretha.

Not this driver though, he handles it like this is no new thing for him. She keeps going. She says that when he drops her off her boyfriend is going to beat the bag out of him. Yeah. Like any of us would keep going.

Then, we finally see the Thotzilla’s face, which is when she realizes she’s being recorded. She don’t give a fuck. People like this never do.

Look at that chin! She looks like if the Crimson Chin from Fairly Odd Parents had a baby with Bruce Campbell!

Right around then she says she’s going to spit in his face. That’s when he finally pulls the car over and tells his government cheesehog that he’s not moving. She needs to get out.

She accuses him of bugging out, says she’s going to pop herself in the face, and then tell the cops he hit her. She says she’s going to start kicking the seat. Über Gandhi even pulled over next to a train station so she wouldn’t be stranded. Guy is a class act.

“I’ll fucking violate you sthoopid,” she barks with an urban lisp, “CALL MY FUCKIN MAN!”

 She thinks that because she is now howling out the window about him raping her that she’s above it all.

“You think because you see me driving that I’m nobody – that you can disrespect me,” he calmly says. “You can be like that with your boyfriend but not with me.”

That’s when Thotzilla comes out with her “I don’t give a fuck about you. Go back to your country. Donald Trump gonna send you and your family back. Get the fuck out of my country.”

Your country? You ignorant cunt. I assure you that you are living here in the backs of the taxpayers. The only reason anyone would be this entitled is if they’ve been given a free ride. My family has been serving in the military since the Revolutionary War. Über Gandhi can stay and is welcome. He’s a hardworking guy with class coming out the ass. You can get the fuck out and leave your free healthcare, food stamps, EBT cash card, baby daddies, and camel toe pants you bought at Bronx Bling Bling right here. Bye Faqueefa.

“Thank you. I appreciate that,” Über Gandhi says.

Then Thotzilla kicks at him, moves to the other side of the car, and starts fake-crying out the window begging people to call the police.

She gets bored with that and starts telling Über Gandhi that it’s his job to have an iPhone charger for her. She continues saying that she hit her in the face when she got in the car.

Then, like someone shut the trap queen light off, she says she’s getting out of the car, dumps her juice everywhere, and waddled her way down the street.

Über Gandhi shuts the door and calls her a “stupid Bronx bitch” and says this is something that the drivers go through all the time. He then apologizes for using bad language.

Guy needs to get a medal. I would have been in jail for slapping this government Cheesehog in her grill.

So, someone must know this skank. Did you go to high school with her? Church? Stood behind her at the welfare office? Let me know first and you’ve got dinner on me.



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17 Comment(s)
  • April 9, 2017 at 6:46 am

    How’s about “charged up Uber douche” for her name! What trash, it’s so disgusting how some people treat others. The fuckery of society is amazing!

  • Wwy
    April 8, 2017 at 1:20 am

    It’s a kike country what can ya do.

    • Agent Smith
      April 8, 2017 at 6:04 am

      Hey wwy, did some Jewish guy bang your wife or something? Or did the wifi come back on in the double wide?

  • My God
    April 8, 2017 at 12:19 am

    Absolutely the very worst writer here on the Turtle Boy. Fucking loser. You make fun of the mentally ill. Do you get off on that shit you fucking loser cunt? I hate you and I am not alone you fucking loser asshole.

    • April 8, 2017 at 12:57 am

      Eat my beaver, cry baby.

      • Total Shit
        April 8, 2017 at 7:41 am

        Shit story by a shit writer. Turtle fire this hag!

      • Jeff
        April 8, 2017 at 9:26 am

        Hey I think the critics are right. This presentation of hate and prejudice from this “South Shore” individualist really needs to go. I read here more than I write. But your so called following was that Brian guy who wants to beat up commenters. Nice fucking following. He’s a loser, you’re a loser. Go away please. Just go away and take Brian with you.

      • My God
        April 8, 2017 at 9:41 am

        “Eat my beaver, cry baby.” Ya alright ok let’s get into it. So this is how you handle criticism? You are pathetic. White trash sitting at home in your trailer in your trailer park jobless, clueless, lonely, bored and desperate typing away to hurt people. You fucking suck. Everything about you sucks. I bet you’re a single mom because no guy in their right mind could ever stand to be with you so you know take it all out on the world. You’re a piece of fucking dog shit.

        • April 8, 2017 at 2:34 pm

          For someone who seems to hate my writing so much you clearly missed a good chunk of me talking about being married with a house. Your tears are delicious. Keep them coming.

          • My God
            April 9, 2017 at 6:05 am

            My tears? Seriously? My my aren’t you the delusional one. If I indeed had any tears it would be of joy to bash your every word that you utter. You are not liked here. You, in fact, are hated. You will be the downfall of this blog. GO AWAY!

    • Twat tickler
      April 8, 2017 at 1:21 am

      Hahaha tell us how you really feel sweetie, did you get your entitled spot blown up?

  • Keir Darcey
    April 7, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    Wicked happy that the umlaut was titled. The details in this blog…

  • sick of the hoodrats
    April 7, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    I live in a town 90% spanish, iv noticed the spanish PR community are racist against everyone no matter what your race or creed is and there excuse is, i can’t be racist cause i’m spanish. fuckn hod rats if you ask me.

    • Herb Pease
      April 8, 2017 at 8:41 am

      I have to agree with you, unfortunately. Probably ten years ago I stopped at the Wendy’s in Auburn for a quick sandwich. All the employees, including the Manager, were speaking Spanish. The Puerto Rican dialect is different than Mexican Spanish, spoken much faster and to a native English speaker seems slurred (I travel in Mexico often).

      Anyway, standing at the counter my order was ignored. They forgot about it. All the other Spanish speakering guests got quick service, I waited ten minutes just to get a spicy chicken sandwich. I checked before I left and my takeout bag was full of soggy fries. I demanded hot ones and the Manager refused. I dumped everything on the counter and left, never, ever until my last breath will I return to that store. I should point out that in the intervening years I’ve not had an incident like that, I’m not a complainer. That store is racist against white people or was at the time.

      A call to Wendy’s Corporate went nowhere, they didn’t care, saying each store is independently managed. I still eat at them, many staffed by native Mexicans particularly in Texas and out West. I won’t eat at one in New England for fear of another incident.

  • Marcelo
    April 7, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    Can’t wait to see how this turns out 😛

  • Talisman
    April 7, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    Petulantia Cuntabulous Jones

  • Turd Burglestein
    April 7, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    Firsties Niggaz!

    Great trolling the net for repulsive Uber videos from NYC. What’s next? Taxi’s in Oakland.

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