These mascots are EXTREMELY triggering!!!
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So as you know the Turners Falls Regional High School Indians are being forced to change their mascot because a bunch of white people with too much time on their hands decided it was offensive. Par for the course at this point. But this is only one notch in the belt for social justice warriors. They have LOTS of work left to do. There are tons of mascots that still need to be changed. Here’s our Top 14 most offensive high school mascots in Massachusetts…
14. Bromfield/Bridgewater-Raynham Trojans
You’re not allowed to depict real human beings as mascots, regardless of their historical significance. Plus, they stole Helen of Troy against her consent, so glorifying them as a mascot promotes rape culture.
13. Amherst/Hoosac Valley Hurricanes
I lived through Hurricane Bob back in the 90’s. Traumatic shit. Every time I see a mascot like this I get triggered. Very insensitive.
12. Shrewsbury/Acton-Boxboro Colonials
I’d be OK with this mascot if they called them what they really were – white trespassers. Haven’t we done enough to indigenous peoples? Must we rub it in their faces by naming our sports teams after these devils?
11. Gloucester Fisherman
So offensive to fishermen everywhere. You think ALL fishermen are angry little men who go around picking fights with everyone? Fishing is a noble profession, not some some sort caricature for you to mock.
10. Whitinsville Christian/Carver/Groton-Dunstable/Bishop Fenwick Crusaders
Talk about Islamophobic!! It’s only about 1,000 years. Way too soon.
9. Winthrop/Triton/Wareham/East Bridgewater/Rockport Vikings
How come every time they depict a Viking it’s some angry looking guy with horns and way too much facial hair? Do their fans where Viking hats to games? How is this any different than wearing a headdress to an Indians football game? Oh yea, it’s not. Very insulting to peaceful Scandinavians everywhere.
8. East Longmeadow/Monument Mountain/Oakmont Spartans
Oh look, another race of people we’ve turned into mascots. What about people who grew up in Sparta and didn’t turn into brave shirtless warriors? You think it’s OK to stereotype them all like this? Not cool.
7. Charlestown Townies
When you Google Charlestown Townies you find this:
Is there anything more insulting than having your entire neighborhood depicted by this guy?
As if a bunch of white trash wannabe bank robbers is an appropriate mascot for a high school.
6. Arlington Catholic/Quaboag Cougars
Beyond demeaning towards older women.
5. Holy Name Napoleans
Besides the fact that it’s insensitive to the Germans, the Russians, the Eyptians, the Austrians, the Belgians, and everyone else who had their homes invaded by this tyrant, it’s also offensive to short people everywhere.
4. Doherty/Somerville Highlanders
A man in a skirt. Playing a bagpipe. Because all us Scottish people are the same to you, right? We all love playing the bagpipe and wearing skirts.
3. Dracut Middies
This is offensive to people who smoke kind bud everywhere.
2. Wachusett Mountaineers
Because everyone from Rutland and Princeton is a bare-footed hillbilly with no teeth named Jebediah.
1. Clinton Gaels
A Gael is basically anyone who comes from the area where people once spoke Gaelic. As you can see, they have turned my people into some sort of mutant halfhorse. I’m glad that my people are so amusing to you all that you’ve turned us into mascots. #GaelsLivesMatter
What did we forget? Any other mascots triggering you people? Let us know.
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