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After yesterday’s tour-de Worcester County we got a lot of messages and comments asking for a Round 2. After all, we only hit up 20 towns yesterday and most of them were south of Worcester. Apparently there were many other towns who got shitty plow jobs and wanted exposure. So today we went to another 20 towns to check out if their roads were as miserable as our’s in Worcester. As usual we’re gonna rank the following 20 towns in order from best plow jobs to the crap happiest: (in the order we visited them) Southbridge, Sturbridge, Brookfield, East Brookfield, North Brookfield, Oakham, Rutland, Princeton, Westminster, Gardner, Ashburnham, Fitchburg, Lunenburg, Leominster, Sterling, Lancaster, Clinton, Bolton, Hudson, Northborough.
I could drive around Northborough all day. It was easily the best plowed right we went to today, and quite frankly I expected nothing less. Even Apple Daddy, who previously went on a tear against this community, would have to admit that both the main and side roads look scrumptious.
Lunenburg got more snow in the first storm than any other town (36 inches!!) Yet somehow their DPW has figured out a way to move it all to the side of the road. Gee whiz, what a great idea!!
I gotta say, I was really impressed with Rutland. I wasn’t expecting much because the towns that border it (Oakham and Princeton) might as well have been slip n’ slides. But they’ve done the most important thing you can do post-storm. Make the roads wider. That’s my beef with the DPW in Worcester. They plow the night of the storm and then I never see them again. In Rutland I saw plows everywhere moving the excess white crap to the side of the road.
After seeing what Fitchburg looked like I was pleasantly surprised to see how Leominster turned out. That’s what happens when an Italian guy who isn’t afraid to tell the MIAA to go screw itself is the mayor.
Hudson was solid. We drove down as many side streets as possible and generally they were cleared and passed the Turtleboy test – by showing me that sweet, sweet asphalt. My only minor beef was on one of the major two lane roads in town the banking basically makes it a one lane road. I realize that on the night of the storm you gotta do what you gotta do. And Worcester is guilty of this too in places like Main Street and Park Ave. But, in the days after that the DPW should be out there turning one land roads back into two.
Clinton is a weird town. It’s wicked small land wise and they kind of just jam everyone in there. So it’s a small town, but it feels like you’re in a city because of all the grime everywhere. It’s kind of like the Webster of the north. And because of that I was expecting it to be a pretty shitty plow job. But it’s actually not half bad.
You’ll never see a city that’s more proud of their chairs than you will in Gardner. I assume these kids have been to more chair museum field trips than they would care to go on. So I was fully expecting to see tons of chair parking spots. But I didn’t because apparently they actually plow the streets up there.
9. East Brookfield
East Brookfield is where people move to get away from Spencer. Otherwise no one would live there because it’s in the middle of nowhere. Their roads were not too shabby though. Not the worst, not the best.
If you thought East Brookfield was fun, wait until you see regular Brookfield. They even have a Clam Box there. In all honesty though it’s basically the same exact thing as East Brookfield. There’s no reason they shouldn’t just be one town. I had no idea when I had left one town and entered the other because their roads were basically the same thing.
People kept talking up the Southbridge plow jobs, which blew my mind. Because after all, it’s Southbridge. Sure the major road (169) was clear as day, but you can’t judge a town based on the Main streets. You gotta do the side roads. The Southbridge side roads weren’t Dudley-esque, but they didn’t quite live up to all the post-plow chatter.
This is another town that people talked up a lot. I wasn’t impressed. These roads might’ve worked back the the Old Sturbridge Village days, but it’s 2015 and I expect better.
Here’s where they start getting crappy. This is a picture of a road in Rutland right after you cross over the line from Oakham.
Here’s the same road half a mile back in Oakham.
Get your shit together Oakham. No wonder there’s never school at Quabbin Regional.
I only went to Ashburnham because some guy told me I had to see it. I’m not gonna lie, I was expecting a lot worse. At least they plowed the major roads, but the side roads looked like Stalingrad in 1943.
I would never wanna live in Princeton because when the sun goes down it’s basically pitch black. You feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere, because for the most part, you are. But it’s a wealthy town so I thought they’d at least plow the Goddamn roads. Nope. Hey, this looks like a fun place to die…
After seeing Sterling I’m starting to believe that the way some of these towns keep too many people from moving there is by purposely doing such a shitty job on the roads.
Do you like your car? Cool. Then don’t go to Bolton because you’re probably gonna fly off the road at some point.
I was under the impression that Westminster was the land of the free and the home of the brave. This is the town that took on the tyrant of Andrea Crete so I figured they could at least plow their roads. Then again, it’s probably her fault that the roads in Westminster looked like you were driving through a remote village in Switzerland.
The only difference between Fitchburg and Honduras is the snow. That and there’s less crime in Honduras. Because if you thought Worcester was bad, wait until you go to Fitchburg. The roads have “third world country” written all over them.I thought I was gonna die several times, and that’s only because I made eye contact with the locals. For a reference point, here is a road in Lunenburg:
Here is that same road a quarter of the mile down the road in Fitchburg:
Have fun navigating through all this crap!!
20. North Brookfield
What a fucking shitshow North Brookfield is. Jesus H. Christ. Driving through North Brookfield would be a really fun video game. Because when you car slams into a tree in a video game you don’t have to pay a deductible. Unfortunately though it’s real life. How anyone can survive in these God-forsaken roads is beyond me.
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