Bone Ride

Top 30 Biggest Shitholes In Massachusetts And Rhode Island That Are Bigger Shitholes Than Haiti

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Thanks to President Trump the word of the day is “shitholes.” We have some strong opinions on all that which we’ll probably share later. But we’ve actually been in this boat a million times before. We call places shitholes all the time and people who live in those shitholes often take offense to it. The difference of course is that Turtleboy doesn’t have access to a nuclear bomb and the President is not a news and entertainment blogger. Nevertheless, it’s still considered controversial to point out that shitholes are in fact shitholes, because the truth hurts people’s feelz. Luckily for you we don’t care about your feelz, so we’ve assembled a list of the 30 biggest shitholes in Massachusetts and Rhode Island that are worse than Haiti. We intended to put a more comprehensive list of the top 50 biggest shitholes in Massachusetts after we completed all of our bone rides, but Trump did this so we had to do a little preview blog today. Here they are….




30. Wales

You can have a whale of time in this shithole. Especially if you’re into run down, dilapidated buildings and grocery carts full of broken dreams.





29. Charlemont

A school bus graveyard mixed in with a trailer park.






28. Spencer

I thought the point of moving to the suburbs was to get away from shitholes?






27. Hawley

Most of you will never go to Hawley. And you will be better off for it.




26. Haverhill

Run down factories, “we accept EBT” signs, and adults wearing pajama pants during the day while ripping Newport 100’s is a good sign that you’re in a shithole.




25. Winchendon

Winchentucky is a pain in the ass to get to, and then when you get there you have to ask yourself, “why the hell did I come here?”





24. West Warwick

Rhode Island’s grundle.





23. Warren

More like Warren pieces.





22. Boston

Most people think of Fenway, the Back Bay, and downtown when they think of Boston. That’s a fraction of it. The places were people actually live are real shitholes though.





21. Pawtucket

It’s not the nicest place, but at least you can get your DrinX-On at Gee’s!!





20. Lowell

When your motto is “at least we’re not Lawrence,” you are living in a shithole.





19. Revere

Quite possibly the most traffic congested shithole in the Bay State.



Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.12.01 PM



18. Worcester

It might be a shithole, but it’s my shithole. This is what a “renaissance” looks like:







17. Fitchburg

No image better epitomizes what a shithole Fitchburg is, quite like the sad moose who wanted to kill himself after getting lost in Fitchburg.



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16. Lynn

Who would’ve ever thought that a hipster coffee shop would fail so miserably in a shithole like Lynn?





15. Webster

When your biggest employer is Mario’s Showplace you know you’re in a shithole.






14. Fall River

No wonder the Fall River Guttermuppet became the trainwreck that she is today.






13. Colrain

I’m Kye Johnson and I’m Colrain 4 Life.








12. Pittsfield

People like to vacation in the Berkshires. Pretty much everywhere except for Pittsfield.





11. Southbridge

Who would’ve ever thought that opening up a DTA office in a previously nice town would turn it into such a shithole?






10. Ware

When convicted child rapists are released from prison and the default place to send them is your town, you know you live in a shithole.





9. Providence 

Don’t be fooled by downtown – Providence is a shithole on steroids.






8. New Bedford

This is the kind of shithole that breeds a foodstampapotamus.






7. Holyoke

When residents use the Connecticut River as a bath, you live in a shithole.





6. Springfield

According to social justice warriors the worst part about Springfield is the Dr. Seuss museum.





5. Woonsocket

Where shipwrecks go to die.






4. Brockton

If you’ve ever spent a Tuesday afternoon sitting on a broken down appliance, you live in a shithole.









3. Chelsea

On top of being a filthy shithole, Chelsea residents get to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of 747’s descending 200 feet above their heads every 30 seconds.





2. Central Falls

The GED capital of New England.


Screen Shot 2016-01-07 at 9.27.07 PM



1. Lawrence

I’d rather sit trough five coup de tats in Haiti than spend one weekend in Lawrence.



So there you have it President Trump. Although I don’t debate that Haiti is in fact a shithole, this great land of ours is not exactly lacking in the shithole department either.

45 Comment(s)
  • The Big D
    February 2, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    North Adams should be in here

  • US is a 1st, 2nd and 3rd world country depending on where you are.
    January 15, 2018 at 9:10 am

    Trump is exactly correct on Haiti, Africa and most other big sources of US immigration around the Carribean and Mexica, Central America and South America. Pure shit-holes with uneducated, diseased immigrants who take the law as suggestion as it is in their culture. You racists have to respect the DIVERSITY of these lawless invaders while surrendering your own culture and diversity because you a racist for even noticing. Tuberculosis is back along with other diseases gone from the United States for 50 years or longer. Thanks to uncontrolled mass migration into the US. We the people get zero benefit and we suffer for it. The politicians gain a new Democrat/Socialist underclass, divide the population on race, and business can undermine wages across the economy for those who still work.

    I travel to all these locations, Lawrence may be closest to 100% pure shit hole with no redeeming qualities. You flip the bird to somebody in lawrence, real chance they will shoot at you.

    Holyoke, Chicopee, Springfield metropolis is extremely bad with routine street violence anywhere. If somebody comes up the road on the wrong side move your car over they probably in trouble and will hit you or shoot you to get out of there.

    Brockton, Fall River, Lynn, Webster, Pittsfield exist only to house illegal aliens and SSI drug addicts.

    If we wanted to save America we would have to accept letting North Korea Nuke all of Massachusetts, Ri, Ct, NJ, anything within 150 miles of NYC, Southern NH, parts of Maine, all of California, West Oregon and Washington states, DC, Maryland, Delaware, Eastern Penn, all the major cities in Texas and Missouri and South Florida.

  • budzman
    January 14, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    Any liberal area is going to be a pile of shit. Those fucking shitbags have no morals, respect or work ethic. Nothing but wasted oxygen.

  • Stunt Penis
    January 14, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    “If the typical residence has more than 1 satellite dish, you may be in a shithole”

  • Token black guy
    January 13, 2018 at 11:39 am

    I don’t think TB is racist but some of your followers sure are… It doesn’t matter where you come from. What matters is how you were raised and being educated. Some of these comments disgust me. Don’t blame all black people or Spanish people calling us niggas and spics. There are uneducated people of races including some of you racist white people. I highly doubt you would ever use your real identity to say something that racist on social media. Educate yourselves and spread love not hate. To fight any kind of oppression we must come together as equals, not segregate ourselves and become divided

    • Get out of here
      January 13, 2018 at 3:47 pm

      Niggers are not welcome here at TBS get the fuck out monkey!

  • Jack Freemuhturtle
    January 13, 2018 at 11:22 am

    No mention of Holden? That’s a shithole if I ever saw one.

  • Asshole
    January 13, 2018 at 9:29 am

    Would like to add Peabody as an honorable mention. That town is a total disaster. South Peabody is an extension of Lynn, rt 1, 114, and 128 run through the town creating massive traffic jams , 2 strip joints and trailer parks up the ass.

  • Ben Champagne
    January 12, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    Bad look. Bad satire.

    You clearly know nothing about Haiti to even suggest this article for publication.

    • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
      January 12, 2018 at 11:10 pm

      Haiti is basically nigger island. That’s all I need to know.

    • Dr. Dracula
      January 13, 2018 at 10:02 am

      Someone got triggered!!

  • J. Fred Muggs
    January 12, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    I’m sure once the MA casinos open up, and Amazon comes into town, both with their millions and millions of dollars, all these shitholes will be a thing of the past.

    • MrSmiley
      January 12, 2018 at 10:59 pm

      Casino low paid workers and Amazon’s sweatshop ones have to live somewhere don’t forget. The mega rich will keep pushing out the little people from Boston and the like and guess where they’ll land. Exaaactly where they are now but magnified.

  • Buck Futts
    January 12, 2018 at 7:58 pm

    I take great efforts to keep my shithole clean.
    However, it doesn’t negate the fact that it’s still a shithole.
    Opinions are like assholes…
    We all have one…
    And they all stink.

  • Sierra
    January 12, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    Honorable mentions for Danielson and Killingly, CT??

  • whatevuh
    January 12, 2018 at 7:02 pm

    And this my friends is what democrats, hispanics, and niggas have given to America, hope you enjoy it, while I sit here in my lilly white town, enjoying my white priviledge


  • Haverhill Landlord
    January 12, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Nice to see Lawrence be in first place for *something*, amirite?

  • The Vorlon
    January 12, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    So many targets…

    The poll needs to be like the “extinguished” Solon, Multiple Choice Joyce. One choice for worst is too limiting. They are all bad in each’s special way.

  • Ass Blaster
    January 12, 2018 at 5:37 pm

    Fucking Hispanics suck. They’re fucking useless and create more problems than they’re worth.
    They whine that every fuckin’ word they see isn’t in Spanish, they run over people with uninsured cars and drive away, they beat women all the time and think it’s OK, they have loads of kids they can’t afford and the kids usually have a dad who’s in jail, they’re all thieves, and you’ll never see a spic virgin over the age of 14. Most of all, almost every shithole mentioned above is full of them. They should be dropped out of a helicopter over their real countries. Fuck them.

    • Cap'n Planet
      January 13, 2018 at 12:01 pm

      Turtleboy would be 100% if shitheads like you didn’t ruin it with your racist rhetoric. There are a lot of whites in Palmer (and other places) who live exactly as you describe.

  • Dennis
    January 12, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    The sad part, all of these towns and cities were good places to live at one time. Also, Trump was correct what he said about the countries he mentioned.

  • Dr. Acula
    January 12, 2018 at 4:56 pm

    As always, great stuff!

    Quick thought after reading this: Create ratchet ‘heat map’? Take all the stories, map the origination point/key players, chart on map? Would be pain in ass but could support rankings. Just imagine the Ware to Webster corridor!

  • Tbsucks
    January 12, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    Turtleboy is only showing the shit parts. Fallriver is a shit hole along with the rest but they do have some really nice residential areas away from all that junk!!

    • bigdaddy
      January 12, 2018 at 4:46 pm

      There is a nice neighborhood in Fall River its called Westport

  • Fuckface McFaggot
    January 12, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    Ware doesn’t really belong with the likes of Lawrence and Brockton, it’s got a couple areas full of shitters but the vast majority of the town isn’t really that bad. I’m by no means saying it’s a nice town, but it’s a completely different animal from the rest of these.

    • yournamehere
      January 12, 2018 at 7:53 pm

      So, urban s*#@hole, as opposed to a rural s*#@hole?

  • Sassy
    January 12, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    You put Brockton at #4 even though it has a pic of a guy holding a gun to his own head?! No way!!! Brockton should have at least been #7 or #8!!! At least they are showing some initiative in the War on Stupid!

  • Brocktonian
    January 12, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    We’re the city of champions. How are we not number 1?

  • Bill Realist
    January 12, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    If you think that’s bad take a drive on up to Rutland Vermont and have a look around sometime. If you want to see what progressive policies will do to a once thriving city over the long haul.

    On another note it is very refreshing to have an honest guy as president for a change.

    • Ball Stompin' Ed
      January 12, 2018 at 6:11 pm

      Any place that promises free shit will draw people that want free shit.

      Those people aren’t the best. Believe me.

      And then when that downward trends starts happening…”hey, want to buy a house (invest your life savings into property) here?!? I promise it won’t lose money 5-10 years from now!”

      And nobody of value moves in. The people who move in want free shit. Or they’re rich kids from the ‘burbs who are handed free shit (the house/apartment their parents bought [see: Boston real estate]).

      Total disaster. Believe me, folks.

  • Hugh Jass
    January 12, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    When TB wins that mega-lawsuit versus FB, he can buy those towns outright… snicker. How’s the lawsuit and the DeDe contretemps going, TB? Seems like not so well for you…

    • Lolajack
      January 12, 2018 at 4:03 pm

      Stop being a dick Hugh you don’t know your ass from your elbow. Turtlboy has 2.5 million followers. Once they all start sending money to the Paypal account he’ll be rolling in the dough and hiring teams of Lawyers.

    • FFS
      January 12, 2018 at 5:27 pm

      Hugh talks like a total pillow biter.

  • pro trump
    January 12, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    any of these places have mor niggers than haiti? if not then def not a bigger shithole

  • Stud McMuffin
    January 12, 2018 at 1:11 pm

    Worcester at 18? Clearly the TB staff have completely lost their respective minds due to the FB drama. It’s top 10 as a given with a STRONG argument for top 5.

  • Kevi
    January 12, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    Fuck you turtleboy I have the biggest shithole

    • Don’t do it!
      January 12, 2018 at 1:16 pm

      Brockton is so bad that the fourth picture in the series has a guy with a gun pointed at his own head!

  • 5HourEnergy'd
    January 12, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    I literally busted out laughing at Fall River Rapunzel. How did those two not turn and claw the photographer when that photo was taken?!

  • M
    January 12, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    Can somebody point me to a video of Trump himself saying this, and not just a CNN news anchor reading what he allegedly said? I genuinely want to be proven wrong, because otherwise I’m just going to assume this is just another thing the left is crying wolf about.

    At the very worst, I believe they took what he said severely out of context, threw in some colorful language, and a dash of racial turmoil just to rile up the SJWs. I can assure you that it has nothing whatsoever to do with race

    • Massachusetts Democrat
      January 12, 2018 at 3:56 pm

      Regardless, they haven’t answered his question. They’re upset that he called shithole countries shithole countries, and don’t want to acknowledge that they want these people here.

      They should just say:

      “Because these people will support us with all the free shit we give them. And these people will have children. Many millions of children, believe me. These children will grow up depending on us, and our voter base will remain established.”

      • President Lyndon B Johnson
        January 12, 2018 at 4:27 pm

        “We’ll have these niggers voting democrat for the next 200 years”
        -End quote-

  • Rich
    January 12, 2018 at 11:51 am

    Where is Lawrence in your poll? Without it, the poll is for 2nd place.

    • January 12, 2018 at 12:16 pm

      Good call. Updated.

    • M
      January 12, 2018 at 12:22 pm

      Lawrence is 1st place

      • Spook Nuke'em
        January 12, 2018 at 4:42 pm

        No question. Lawrence should be nuked.

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