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Thanks to President Trump the word of the day is “shitholes.” We have some strong opinions on all that which we’ll probably share later. But we’ve actually been in this boat a million times before. We call places shitholes all the time and people who live in those shitholes often take offense to it. The difference of course is that Turtleboy doesn’t have access to a nuclear bomb and the President is not a news and entertainment blogger. Nevertheless, it’s still considered controversial to point out that shitholes are in fact shitholes, because the truth hurts people’s feelz. Luckily for you we don’t care about your feelz, so we’ve assembled a list of the 30 biggest shitholes in Massachusetts and Rhode Island that are worse than Haiti. We intended to put a more comprehensive list of the top 50 biggest shitholes in Massachusetts after we completed all of our bone rides, but Trump did this so we had to do a little preview blog today. Here they are….
You can have a whale of time in this shithole. Especially if you’re into run down, dilapidated buildings and grocery carts full of broken dreams.
A school bus graveyard mixed in with a trailer park.
I thought the point of moving to the suburbs was to get away from shitholes?
Most of you will never go to Hawley. And you will be better off for it.
Run down factories, “we accept EBT” signs, and adults wearing pajama pants during the day while ripping Newport 100’s is a good sign that you’re in a shithole.
Winchentucky is a pain in the ass to get to, and then when you get there you have to ask yourself, “why the hell did I come here?”
24. West Warwick
Rhode Island’s grundle.
More like Warren pieces.
Most people think of Fenway, the Back Bay, and downtown when they think of Boston. That’s a fraction of it. The places were people actually live are real shitholes though.
It’s not the nicest place, but at least you can get your DrinX-On at Gee’s!!
When your motto is “at least we’re not Lawrence,” you are living in a shithole.
Quite possibly the most traffic congested shithole in the Bay State.
It might be a shithole, but it’s my shithole. This is what a “renaissance” looks like:
No image better epitomizes what a shithole Fitchburg is, quite like the sad moose who wanted to kill himself after getting lost in Fitchburg.
Who would’ve ever thought that a hipster coffee shop would fail so miserably in a shithole like Lynn?
When your biggest employer is Mario’s Showplace you know you’re in a shithole.
14. Fall River
No wonder the Fall River Guttermuppet became the trainwreck that she is today.
I’m Kye Johnson and I’m Colrain 4 Life.
People like to vacation in the Berkshires. Pretty much everywhere except for Pittsfield.
Who would’ve ever thought that opening up a DTA office in a previously nice town would turn it into such a shithole?
When convicted child rapists are released from prison and the default place to send them is your town, you know you live in a shithole.
Don’t be fooled by downtown – Providence is a shithole on steroids.
8. New Bedford
This is the kind of shithole that breeds a foodstampapotamus.
When residents use the Connecticut River as a bath, you live in a shithole.
According to social justice warriors the worst part about Springfield is the Dr. Seuss museum.
Where shipwrecks go to die.
If you’ve ever spent a Tuesday afternoon sitting on a broken down appliance, you live in a shithole.
On top of being a filthy shithole, Chelsea residents get to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of 747’s descending 200 feet above their heads every 30 seconds.
2. Central Falls
The GED capital of New England.
I’d rather sit trough five coup de tats in Haiti than spend one weekend in Lawrence.
So there you have it President Trump. Although I don’t debate that Haiti is in fact a shithole, this great land of ours is not exactly lacking in the shithole department either.