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After the legendary winter we had, you just know that this spring is going to bring some epic potholes. Unfortunately for Worcesterites the paving jobs around here in the spring are about as good as the plowing jobs were this winter. Our question for today is, which streets have the worst potholes? Here’s our Top Ten.

10. Mill Street

When we tossed the question about on Facebook yesterday about which street had the worst potholes in Worcester, this was the most popular answer. I gotta be honest with you. I was expecting a million times worse. Sure there were some nasty looking potholes like this bad boy:

And it was generally a bumpy ride:

But for the most part the holes were patched in. Plus it’s a two lane road for most of it. So quite you’re whining ya Sally’s. Mill Street only makes this list because in general it looks like shit.

9. Salisbury Street

I really thought people in this part of town had more pull. I mean, it’s freaking Salisbury Street. You people should be able to stuff enough money in Ed Augustus’ pocket so that you never have to worry about the road looking like it does now. Especially the parts from Beechmont to Moreland Street. It’s a disaster.

8. Mann Street

I don’t think I’ve ever seen this glorious cut through street not look like a dilapidated piece of crap. I’m assuming the city keeps it this way on purpose because there’s always a million little boogers going to the batting cages or Pop Warner practice. It’s a really easy fix too. I’m guessing the city of Worcester has some sort of racket going with the auto body shops, because I’ve been using this road for years an not once have I ever not worried about destroying my car on it.

7. Country Club Boulevard

First of all, whoever named this street “Country Club Boulevard” has to be the most sarcastic person in the history of the world. Because nothing about this street says “country club” or “boulevard.” A more appropriate name probably would’ve been “The Denny’s Expressway.” This road takes you from Lincoln Street to St. Nicholas Ave, and apparently it’s not high on the city’s fix list. Here it is in all it’s splendor:

6. College Street

College Street reminds me of the dooshnozzle Mom from Blackstone with the house of horrors. She wanted to make sure she put on a good front for the world to see, but she was hiding in a house of horrors. Because the city keeps College Street looking prim and proper by Holy Cross, probably because we don’t wanna look like white trashville to the dignified yuppies who wanna go to school here.

But the second you pass HC it turns into “you’re on your own, fuck you-ville.’

5. Heard Street

You remember playing the Oregon trail back in the day? Unless you’re a complete loser you always chose to ford the river rather than pay the $2 to take the ferry. Sure you might crash into a rock or two and Susanna died from dysentary along the way. But it was fun. It made the game interesting. Heard Street is a lot like fording the river, except it’s real life and when you hit one of the many land mine-esque potholes, you don’t save $2. The thing about Heard Street is it’s skinny, there aren’t many sidewalks, and it’s a giant hill. So naturally you need to build momentum to get up it. Unfortunately as you’re accelerating you’re literally playing dodge-a-pothole while trying not to swerve into oncoming traffic coming down Heard towards Stafford Street.

4. May Street

May Street is only bad from June to Park Ave. But it’s a driving experience you’ll never forget. It’s got this one magnificent pothole that most likely is deeper than Bell Pond.

You tell me what I’m supposed to do here? Drive directly over that pothole, which could easily be used as a bathtub for a small family, or swerve to the left and smash into the nudnik in the white car who’s straddling the double yellow lines for whatever reason. Get your shit together May Street.

3. Plantation Street

If Plantation Street were in Belgium, General Patton would’ve said “fuck it” and let the Nazis keep it. Neil Armstrong had an easier time navigating around the moon than we did driving down Plantation Street today. First of all, this street has more layers to it than a Lasagna.

Apparently instead of just re-paving the whole street, the city has elected to make a pattern of racing stripes, so you know what part of the street to drive on

The problem is that the racing stripes have all grown their own potholes now:

At some points in the street the city just said, “YOLO” and threw down some asphalt in random blobs.

2. Lincoln Street

Parts of Lincoln Street looks like the Western Front on Armistice Day. Most of the street is fine. But everywhere from Plantation Street up to Lincoln Plaza looks like it was besieged by artillery fire and hand grenades. If the roads looked like this in Afghanistan the camels would go on strike.

1. Wildwood Ave

There is no street in Worcester that compares to Wildwood Ave. The streets we’ve seen thus far at least have certain parts of them that are manageable. Wildwood Ave has no such parts. The entire street is one mile-long magical adventure. If people in third world countries saw pictures of Wildwood Ave, they’d start donating money to us.

Honorable mention goes to Greenwood and Providence Streets. Did we miss any? Feel free to share your thoughts to keep this conversation going.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 600,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

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