Hoodrat Heroes

Trap Queen Tracy Calls Up Hoodboogers Who Abandon Her After Rear-ending Van In Lynn, Ends Up Getting Beaten By Red Bull Rhonda But Keeps Talking Shit Anyway

 

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If you ever need a reason NOT to go to Lynn, just watch this video.

Street beef, numerous people in pajamas during broad daylight, fights in front of school buses full of impressionable crotch fruits, third generation Dodge Caravans, and English as the backup language. Welcome to Lynn.

Let’s go to the play by play.

It starts off with Trap Queen Tracy and her pajama clad friend Parliament Light Patty yelling at flat brimmed Freddie after getting into a minor fender bender.  She calls up her favorite hoodboogers to come down and fight her battles for her, and when they arrive she feels a lot more confident and lets flat brimmed Freddie know that he’s in for a world of shit.

Her muscle gets out of the car, assesses the situation, and decides that they’re not going to fight Trap Queen Tracy’s street beef this week.

They tell her they’re getting the fuck out of there, which makes her so upset she almost burst out of her Shaw’s brand leggings.

Flat brimmed Freddie revels in the joy of his victory which upsets Trap Queen Tracy, so she calls up the guys who just ditched her and begins yelling at them.

“You need to come back and whoop his ass, he’s saying that you left for a reason.”

This appears to be on a voicemail which they will likely ignore while passing blunts around back at the crib. Nevertheless she feels confident that the same guys who just told her to fuck off will be back to fight for her honor.

“You’re getting your ass whooped today. It’s a wrap. It’s a wrap. You wanna call me a crackhead? Look at this crackhead!!”

Rule #1 of Lynn – if you call a ho a crackhead to her face, you better be prepared to throw down right then and there.

All of a sudden the alleged crackhead, or someone defending the crackhead’s honor, let Trap Queen Tracy know that this sort of dialogue was unacceptable by pounding her in the cock kisser a few times.

The best part is that while reigning blows down upon Trap Queen Tracy, Red Bull Rhonda holds onto the Red Bull with her left hand, until she realizes that she also wants to use her left hand to punch Trap Queen Tracy in the head.

When you grow up in Lynn you learn how to fight a ho while not letting go of the Red Bull.

Finally the cops arrive and we find out what led up to this.

“Who hit you?”

TQT: ” I hit her because she slammed on her breaks.”

Translation – this whole thing was completely my fault for tailgating, but since the only tangible thing I have left is my pride, I’m gonna go full skankzilla on the people I just rear ended anyway.

Then at the end she talks a big game about “finding” Red Bull Rhonda, because she knows all the streets this woman normally walks on a Tuesday afternoon. But the fact of the matter is that she didn’t have to find her two minutes prior to this. She was right in front of her, getting beaten by her while Red Bull Rhonda maintained control of her Red Bull, before chasing her down in a parking lot and running to the cops as soon as they arrived.

Anyway, if Trap Queen Tracy or Parliament Light Patty wants to come on the live show to talk about it this weekend I’m sure Unc would love to have you on as a guest.

 

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35 Comment(s)
  • megamortus
    October 6, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    NSTB does it again with another great write-up. The play-by-plays are AMAZING! It’s rare these days to see someone have a mastery of tone and metaphor. Thank you for your service to the community.

  • The Dating Machine
    October 3, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    That Trapqueen Tracy is one piece of Ace, so would. Drop those looser friends and get with me. I’ll gladly get my ass beat in the middle of the day for a body like that.

    • South of Andover
      October 8, 2019 at 4:24 pm

      Delicious body with a bad aftertaste personality

  • Yeti Hunter
    October 3, 2019 at 11:20 am

    TrapQueen Tracey has some big feet !You all know what that means ?

  • Dave Fenichel
    October 3, 2019 at 9:58 am

    The girl in the red that smacked her. I got her back if she needs it. I live near Lynn I’m gonna drive through and see if I see her and buy her a pack of smokes.

  • Johnnie airmaxes
    October 3, 2019 at 5:00 am

    Nothing beats little ratchet brunette girls that weigh 105 pounds talking tough because they can hide behind there felon uncles. Well guess what TrapQueen Tracy, uncle Hector was busy getting smoked out and wasn’t really feeling throwing them thangs. If only you had caught him after the henny on a Friday. Go to fuckin work ya sludgepump. That was awesome though uncle Hector bails on her and all she has is that fuckin stupid glass phone on her, no back up at all. Fuckin voicemail Victoria over here. She’s got absolutely no ass to clap eaither damn shame. Shaws leggings I’m fuckin dead. Love you TurtleBoy keep doing what you do to these worthless losers.

  • T.R.
    October 3, 2019 at 2:29 am

    I bet her cheerio gets all tight and twitchy about a minute after she takes a pull off the glass pipe.

  • Judge dread
    October 2, 2019 at 10:40 pm

    That basic Becky white chick looks like someone you would see in a mass grave in Poland circa 1944, except she is not covered in lime.

    That bitch looks so bad, she must weigh 80 pounds! Holocaust survivors have more meat on their bones than she does. Calling her chicken legs is a compliment.

    She’s has a serious drug problem and/or eating disorder. The judge says put a tube down her throat and inject the fat of the top 25 animals to feast on, direct to the stomach. The judge wants to see balloon face by day 23.

    I’m with Red Bull Rhonda on this one.

  • oliver
    October 2, 2019 at 6:48 pm

    Hispanic scum. Lynn is the shithole of all shitholes

    • Captain Trips
      October 2, 2019 at 7:24 pm

      The USA seems to get all of the shit people. We get the all of the PR’s, the nig noggers……..

      Go over to Russia. They have no nig noggers, no PR’s, just the occasional drunken Russian imbecile.

      We get all of the shit. Perhaps that is why we have 20 Trillion in debt and Russia has a little over 100 billion in debt.

      Why don’t they go there? Lack of liberal welfare systems, that’s why. And a hell of a lot less deficit and crime as a result.

      Think Russia is still socialist? Bullshit. Russia is as capitalist these days as they come. And they are laughing at all of the shit we now allow into our country.

      They will laugh until our systems break down and then they will be the reigning power in the world. Look it up. Don’t be fucking idiots.

  • dung
    October 2, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    massachuseets!! she made a mountaing out of a dunghill.

  • Helping the 'hood
    October 2, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    I hit on a scratch ticket for ten bucks. I’m taking all 3 of them out tonight.

  • Kilcrease
    October 2, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Real life imitates Star Wars

  • kevins9iron
    October 2, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    On the right girls yoga pants are AWESOME!

  • Breaking Bad
    October 2, 2019 at 3:26 pm

    Skanky,skanky,skanky,skanky, Skank ass bitch.

  • Stop I want To Get Off
    October 2, 2019 at 2:21 pm

    Our tax dollars at work so they don’t have to. They want to make the term illegal aliens a term that is considered a hate crime. Listened to a discussion about that in the Gregg Hill show yesterday. This world is in serious trouble

    • Y
      October 2, 2019 at 3:04 pm

      This has to be unconstitutional…

      • TheCureForHope
        October 6, 2019 at 8:17 pm

        God help us.

  • Liawatha
    October 2, 2019 at 2:19 pm

    That was clearly life imitating art.That wondrous scenario had many elements of the classic Greek Tragedy. I am astounded how so many cultures and walks of life were represented during this saga. I embrace and celebrate this diverse tapestry of humanity.

  • CrispyC
    October 2, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    We need to put an end to government assistance programs and start over from scratch.

    These people clearly have nothing better to do than take all of our money as taxpayers.

  • Father Dimmock
    October 2, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    And Trump said they (Hispanic nations like Mexico) were not sending their best. Yep.
    Culture in Decline

  • Itty Bitty Titty Committee
    October 2, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Your application has been reviewed and your membership has been approved.

  • Mussolini
    October 2, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    Coal burners are fucking digusting.

  • Deez Nuts
    October 2, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    Who’s the tard recording this?

    • Y
      October 2, 2019 at 1:56 pm

      Always record in landscape/horizontal mode.
      And, always speak English!

  • As ratchet as it gets!
    October 2, 2019 at 1:39 pm

    Nice play-by-play TB.

    You write a good blog, keep up the good work.

  • No shame Shane
    October 2, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    I’d still hit it.

    • Dave
      October 2, 2019 at 2:05 pm

      Hit that…then hit the clinic for shots EWWWWWW

    • ncfoothillbilly
      October 2, 2019 at 4:38 pm

      Just be certain to not rear-end it as you may find yourself in a shitty situation.

  • Welfare reform
    October 2, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    I wonder what they all do for work?

  • bigdadd
    October 2, 2019 at 1:34 pm

    Lucky her friends were able to leave work to come and defend her honor Oh whom am I kidding They were at home smoking blunts celebrating that their EBTs cards got reloaded yesterday

  • Garcia Vega
    October 2, 2019 at 1:32 pm

    Welcome to the jungle. I can’t believe all these savages work the graveyard shift, That’s the only explanation I can think of for so many people out in the middle of the day picking fights. Fucking street cheetahs

    • Ash Az
      October 2, 2019 at 2:51 pm

      when ratchet hell comes down
      turn your phone around.
      When foodstampapodomi charge to strike…
      Record the long way, left to right.

      Pajama pants Patty, get out the way. Red Bull Rhonda does not play.
      School bus children…looking on.
      Its to late
      For those ratchet spawn.
      Stay in school,
      And dont tailgate
      Or ratchet roadrage
      Will be your fate.

  • Chip Striker
    October 2, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Trump 2020

  • Y
    October 2, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    Diversity is our strength!!

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