Turns Out The South Shore Manbunned Assquatch Is Turtleboy Repeat Dalton Bermingham, Kingston Rapper Who Threatens To Deflower Children, Fight Elderly
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
A few minutes ago we posted this blog about a rare sighting of the south shore manbunned, grundle grabbing assquatch, who was seen on a hunting stand camera aimlessly walking through the woods around Plympton and Carver.
Well within three minutes we had a name, and it turns out he’s a Turtleboy repeat customer. Shocking, I know. What are the odds that a guy walking through the woods in his underpants would’ve previously been featured on Turtleboy? That’s easy money right there.
Someone sent us this screenshot, in which a young lady named Danielle Bermingham expresses her lack of shock that her brother Dalton is apparently Assquatch:
Who remembers Dalton Bermingham? He was featured on Turtleboy in January of 2017, as the aspiring Kingston rapper not only elected to defend three trashbags who forced a 16 year old Fitchburg girlfriend into sex slavery the previous weekend, he also threatened to rape children and assault the elderly:
This poor, misguided soul. This is not her fault. It's society's fault. pic.twitter.com/OA1sBz5XF5
— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) January 11, 2017
We all knew Dalton Bermingham’s manbun would make reappearance on Turtleboy, we just figured he’d have pants on. I figured with his hacking IP skills he’d have taken the turtle down by now:
The only thing I’m shocked about here is that sister seems normal. When this is your brother:
And this is your father:
And this your mother:
Odds are that you too will one day make an appearance on Turtleboy, and it won’t be because you found a cure for cancer.
So there you have it. The south shore grundle grabbing manbunned Assquatch is none other than aspiring Kingston rapper Dalton Bermingham, who apparently likes to have a nice acid breakfast in Kingston, head due west and wander through the woods half naked all day while wiping his ass with poison oak. Mystery solved.