• Turns Out The South Shore Manbunned Assquatch Is Turtleboy Repeat Dalton Bermingham, Kingston Rapper Who Threatens To Deflower Children, Fight Elderly



    Turns Out The South Shore Manbunned Assquatch Is Turtleboy Repeat Dalton Bermingham, Kingston Rapper Who Threatens To Deflower Children, Fight Elderly

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    A few minutes ago we posted this blog about a rare sighting of the south shore manbunned, grundle grabbing assquatch, who was seen on a hunting stand camera aimlessly walking through the woods around Plympton and Carver.

    Well within three minutes we had a name, and it turns out he’s a Turtleboy repeat customer. Shocking, I know. What are the odds that a guy walking through the woods in his underpants would’ve previously been featured on Turtleboy? That’s easy money right there.

    Someone sent us this screenshot, in which a young lady named Danielle Bermingham expresses her lack of shock that her brother Dalton is apparently Assquatch:

    Who remembers Dalton Bermingham? He was featured on Turtleboy in January of 2017, as the aspiring Kingston rapper not only elected to defend three trashbags who forced a 16 year old Fitchburg girlfriend into sex slavery the previous weekend, he also threatened to rape children and assault the elderly:

    screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-10-25-29-am

    screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-11-43-16-pm

    14915353_10205899369362047_455981111951436049_n

    screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-12-05-31-am

    screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-12-00-16-am

    screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-11-44-01-pm

    We all knew Dalton Bermingham’s manbun would make reappearance on Turtleboy, we just figured he’d have pants on. I figured with his hacking IP skills he’d have taken the turtle down by now:

    screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-11-44-21-pm

    The only thing I’m shocked about here is that sister seems normal. When this is your brother:

    screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-12-02-55-am

    And this is your father:

    screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-11-10-34-am

    And this your mother:

    screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-12-04-08-am

    15288536_10207530939340791_5263589763160117680_o

    Odds are that you too will one day make an appearance on Turtleboy, and it won’t be because you found a cure for cancer.

    So there you have it. The south shore grundle grabbing manbunned Assquatch is none other than aspiring Kingston rapper Dalton Bermingham, who apparently likes to have a nice acid breakfast in Kingston, head due west and wander through the woods half naked all day while wiping his ass with poison oak. Mystery solved.

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Discussion

    1. turtles gullable


      thats not daltan lol she just messaged me saying it was a joke because hes so stupid it wouldnt be a shocker for him to be the assquatch lol, turtleboy i love ya but you gotta know when people are joking around, you can clearly see its not him lol

      1. guess he is gullable


        lol at least you had all those pictures saved, lol i cant believe you thaught that was dalton hahaha he has not had the man bun or hair for a few months

      2. PhilSimmsSucks


        Give it up, Dalton. Turtleboy got you; no hiding now.
        Now go put your fucking Garanimals pants back on, fuckboy.

    2. whatevuh


      I’m guessing he was scouting houses to rob . . . police better go speak to this ass-wipe before something happens . . . .

    3. Kevin Lynch


      Man buns are sooooo sexy!

    4. The Wall


      Haven’t you blogged about this guy before???

    5. The Wall


      Sorry, I missed it in the story

    6. Dalton for President


      “And I have no problem beating up an old man who thinks he can still hang with young boys.” LMAO

    7. KingstonStrong


      Dalton was probably scurrying out into the woods for a little rough man love. He has a reputation in Kingston as a bottom who has a great affection for “bears” (hairy homosexual men).

    8. Rochambeau


      Turtleboy can’t just go around misattributing every boy that’s accidently run out of heroin and crapped their pants. Good heavens, where are your journalistic standards?

    9. TheCureForHope


      Doesn’t look like the same guy as in the mugshot

    10. Dorchester Dude


      I’d have this little twat licking his own bald scrote while I banged his Mom and made his pussy Dad watch. I hate f’in poseurs.

    11. Mom’s Basement


      It appears that he’s searching for an escaped victim

    12. Demarco Rubio


      Yikes he looks like the main character from the current season of American Horror Story

    13. Mrs. Teasdale


      Kingston? Really? He talks like a Hoodrat.

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow