I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – politicians around Worcester need to get their act together or they’ll be looking for a new line of $34,000 part time work come November. And the naughtiest have been Tracy Novick, Sarai River, Hilda Ramirez, and of course Dicky Rushton. Mr. 5th place and sliding pulled the ultimate political boner in December when he chose to align himself with the handful of ragtags who thought blockading Lincoln Square with Clark hippies would fix racism.
Ya see, the City Council had a really, really simple vote where they could all make everyone happy. All they had to do was say “yes” when they were asked if they supported a meaningless resolution that told the Worcester Police, that in spite of all the anti-cop rhetoric across this country, that the City Council still thought they were swell. All he had to do was vote yes.
But instead he looked at the 10 hippies in the room and thought to himself, “
There’s probably TONS of these people out there who will vote for me if I jump on the police-hating bandwagon.”So he voted against the resolution, which passed 9-2.
Oh well, it could be worse for Dicky. He could’ve had the misfortune of accidentally looking at the wrong camera at the wrong time at a Red Sox game and ending up on Collegehumor.com like his poor twin brother did:
Since then the hippies have disappeared. All that’s left is the Sunshine Kid from Princeton and senile Old Gordy “videos aren’t evidence” Davis.
The rumors I’m getting from my hippie sources are that Junior Smokeshow Professor Sonya Conner has had a split with the Worcester hippies. Probably because they figured out she was a completely full of shit, lilly-white Oklahoma carpetbagger, who immediately denied having anything to do with them the second she was summonsed to court for her illegal Kelley Square blockade. She is the Peter the Apostle of the hippies.
She’s also gotten her own lawyer to separate herself as much as possible from known criminals Julius Jones, poet laureate RBG, and Kevin “the creeper” Ksen.
In light of this crumbling Super PAC, Dicky Rushton did the smart thing tonight:
Ya see that folks? He could hear the music. He didn’t wanna dance with the devil. He knew his day of reckoning was coming and I don’t blame him for it at all. It’s like when Peter McNeely’s trainer threw in the towel 30 seconds into the Tyson fight. Best move he’s ever made. He gets to walk away as an undefeated six time champion, instead of turning into the next Bill Coleman.
He’s giving the usual reason for walking away – more time with his family. I don’t know Dicky, but I’ve heard from reliable sources he’s a good guy and a better father. So I don’t doubt this played a part.
But come on now – there’s no way he’s walking away if he thinks he can win again. He thought by aligning himself with Spanky McFarlane and the ragtags he locked up the re-election. Then we won best blog and Old Balls became the official delusional voice of the Circlejerk, he saw the writing on the wall. Predictably, the hippies are taking it pretty hard:
This proves once again that Turtleboy Sports IS the revolution. We took down Andrea Crete from the Board of Health in Westminster. We rebuild communities and feed the homeless. Now we’re taking down City Councilors like hot cakes. If you’re an upstart politician in Worcester who wants to get elected, I suggest the first thing you start doing is ignore everything that doesn’t come from Turtleboy Sports. We are the only legitimate, reliable source left in this town. You don’t wanna end up like Dicky. It might seem weird to align yourself with a boy riding a magical turtle, but it’s the future of media and only the survivors will embrace it.
So here’s the deal. We haven’t announced our Turtleboy ticket yet because we don’t know who is worthy. We will be having an official announcement though in a couple of months, and we encourage our readers to bullet vote the Turtleboy ticket. This is how we restore sanity to a city government that has been hijacked by Joyce McNickles, Old Balls, Keesha LaTulippe, and a handful of other loony-toons who don’t live in Worcester.
In order to do so though you actually have to vote. Simply clicking on your favorite anecdote in the poll question will not cut it this time. Nor will showing up on election day if you’re not registered. Voter turnout in Worcester municipal elections is about as big as the crowd at a Get Down Productions free sytle battle. We get over 10,000 readers every day from Worcester alone. That’s insane. Joe Petty, the top vote getter in the 2013 election, had less than 10,000 total votes. We CAN run this city and all we have to do is show up and vote.
So go down to City Hall and register to vote if you haven’t done so already. Take a picture in your “I Am Turtleboy” t-shirt, or whatever, and we’ll toss it up on the blog or on Facebook so that the world can can see that the Turtleboy Sports Revolution is indeed coming as advertised.
As for the Turtleboy ticket, we’ll be reaching out to ALL the candidates and asking their position on the following:
- Do you support and trust the Worcster Police?
- Do you agree with the decision to bring charges against the Kelley Square 4?
- Do you believe it is appropriate for the Justice Department to be conducting community meetings in Worcester?
- Do you believe racism is a major problem in Worcester?
- Do you agree that Ed Augustus should be spending more city taxes on a “Chief Diversity Officer” position to fix a problem that doesn’t exist?
- Do you think it is appropriate for Ed Augusts to be making secret deals with Worcester State and the Worcester Tennis Club to give up public park space that is the fabric of the community?
- Do you agree with the School Committee’s recent decision to give Melinda Boone a new contract?
- What grade would you give Melinda Boone’s job performance?
- Do you agree that Lisa Dyer should have recently been given a new contract in light of the anarchy that has taken place under watch at North High School?
- Which Telegram columnist do you prefer – Spanky or Dianne?
- Do you believe it is prudent to spend $50,000 a year on Jen Roy’s salary so that Melinda Boone can have her own personal cheerleader and bearer of bad news?
- Who is Worcester’s top blogger – Old Balls or Turtleboy?
- Do you believe that Janice Harvey is racist for using the term “color-blind” to refer to the way she looks at her students?
- What grade did you get in Cultural Competency 101?
MFK – Jen Roy, Sonya Conner, the sassy Mayor of Baltimore?
We’ll probably add a few more on too, but you get the point. There is only one correct answer to all of those questions. I know 99% of candidates for office are reading this right now. If you wanna get a headstart on your opponents then feel free to email your answers to [email protected]
The Revolution begins now.