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Turtleboy Is Now Selling AkaVie Brand CBD Products In The Turtle Store


Turtleboy is getting into the CBD game, as those of you who watch the live show know. I polled turtle riders on the show and a lot of people are apparently into it. I was approached by some turtle riders who wanted to do an affiliate partnership where I sell their product on our site and they deliver it to you. But I would NEVER sell something I hadn’t tested. So a little over a month ago I actually started trying it because this is an extremely stressful, anxiety-inducing line of work, as you can imagine. And I feel confident enough to say now that I fully recommend AkaVie brand CBD products. I didn’t know much about it before this, but CBD basically does what weed does for you without getting high. You can get Delta 8 Vapes for Sale too. It relaxes me when I’m stressed out (which is often when you’re raising two crotch fruits and getting sued by half the world).

AkaVie’s VP has been a huge turtle rider for years, and their main niche right now is professional athletes, mainly Nascar, dirk biking, cycling, and pro surfers. Their products contain 0.00% THC, (the part of marijuana that makes you hungry and useless) which differentiates them from the competition. They have a QR code on all of their bottles that can be scanned so you can scan and view the fully certified analysis lab report for the bottle describing the entire life and contents of the product. This will assure you that it is organic and contains no THC.

Most CBD Products not only contain THC, but they are actually extractions from the hemp seed, which leave them with about a 7% concentrate level of CBD or less. A lot of knock-offs. Unless you want to pretend they work with the placebo effect, don’t bother trying it. AkaVie is at an 87%+ concentration rate because it is lab extracted straight off of the vine.

If you wanna know the science of it all, read this next paragraph. If not, skip it and go onto the next one.

What CBD does, is it creates a balance in your endocannabinoid system called homeostasis. Meaning your body has many systems, respiratory, cardiovascular, etc. and “endocanabinoid” (the balance of your emotions in your central nervous system). CBD balances these receptors out, therefore creating a more calm, less stressed out individual. Without any of the psychoactive effects of THC, it’s basically like taking a giant chill pill. People all over claim they use it to fix their stress, anxiety, bi-polar, insomnia, etc.

These are the products they have:

Tinctures – (liquid bottle with a dropper.. for oral use) – These are recommended for morning use under the tongue. They are considered to be the second most powerful product. They range from 500-1500mg.

SoftGels – These are the most powerful product as they go immediately to the bloodstream in a matter of under 20 minutes. We also have them with in Curcumin for people with inflammation and joint issues. Curcumin is a wonder ingredient. We recommend 2 in the morning.

Gummies – These are recommended for adults and even hyperactive children. They are a lower concentration as its an ingested gummy. Recommended 2 at night for amazing dreams, or 2 in the morning for children etc… whatever works best for you.

Energy Drink – Energy drink seems to be the personal favorite. You simply pour a scoop of the mix into a water bottle in the morning. It gives you intense energy like several coffees at once, but leaves you super hyper focused and productive without the feeling of stress. It also tastes like strong lemonade, and not typical energy drink. It tastes so good it might actually be my favorite drink, even if it had no CBD. It also gets everyone to quit drinking coffee. Its just better. Seriously… its the greatest drink I’ve ever had.They’ve got other products, but these are the favorites that were picked out to be in your Turtlebags by the VP.

There are two bags put together for you in the store.

Turtlebag #1: Tincture, Gummies, Energy Drink

Turtlebag #2: Tincture, Softgels, Gummies

Both Bags are 99.00 + shipping ($4), but ordinarily they retail above $200. Thats our thank you from them for being a Turtle rider. Let us know if you want any other products at special Turtle discounts. It’ll be the cheapest you can get them, if you order through our Turtle store. If you see a different product you want thats not in the Turtlebag, or you just want an individual item, let me know. We will throw them in the Turtle store for you as soon as the same or next day, and that’s how we ensure that you get your big discount, plus support us here at Turtleboy.


24 Comment(s)
  • Everyone is fired
    December 22, 2019 at 12:51 am


  • Big D
    December 18, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    The energy drink is actually awesome. Tastes killer. Redbull and monster tastes like ass or chemical mess their stuff is pretty good. Seriously want it as a mixer with vodka. But energy keeps me going without the shaky feeling due to CBD stuff I think.

    I also tried the akavie gummy to chill at night and get a decent sleep. Man it worked put me out and cool dreams.

  • Lake Flaccid
    December 18, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    I recently decided to try CBD cream for my foot that has been fucking killing me.
    Also bought a tincture for my dog who’s a giant, anxious pussy on long car rides. Spent about $150.
    The salesperson at the store said both products were magical.
    Fast forward 3 weeks …..
    I’m not an expert on the matter of CBD but unfortunately neither worked for my 2 issues. My foot still hurts and my dog is still a pussy.

    • Vp
      December 18, 2019 at 11:45 pm

      All CBD needs a build up effect. Depending on the source… it can take 3-30 days.
      The knock off stuff.. expect to wait a month+.
      The premium stuff… 9 days max but you might have to start at a low dose and work your way up so your body can handle it.
      If you bought a turtle bag… 1 a day will have you completely straight in a week.

  • AngryWhiteDad
    December 18, 2019 at 10:12 pm

    CBD helps so many people. Cyprus Hill was right all along. I’d love to buy some shit but I’m broke AF. I’ve got kids and its Christmas. Oh, and the ex wife has to get paid too. Literally had to scrape my bowl tonight.

  • Alyssa Lungarini
    December 18, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    I swear by CBD! Every day , all day! Love that it is working for you Unc and that you are selling it through the store! I will be trying!

  • Kenneth Foley
    December 18, 2019 at 6:38 pm

    Me and my sweetie rely on CBD balm.
    Sweetie’s back > arthritis ridden painful toast.
    Medical industry FAILED her for 3 FUCKING DECADES.
    Pain was a way of life.
    All they had was physical therapy.
    Thanks CBD !!
    It fucking works.
    More than willing to Team TB a shot.
    On it.

  • Js
    December 18, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    AkaVie is the best. That’s the brand the Pats use

  • Jack
    T. Rex
    December 18, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    Too expensive, it’s more for trendy youngbloods!

    • Kenneth Foley
      December 18, 2019 at 6:46 pm

      Hey T Douche,
      Trendy ?
      It’s not a Lg latte with a triple shot of skim milk and stevia on the side

      wake up or shut up

  • randiguy2006
    December 18, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Just get high you wanker.

  • randiguy2006
    December 18, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    How stressful can blogging be?

    1. Find losers online
    2. Make fun of losers.


    Congrats on becoming a snake oil salesman. Much better than teaching. If anyone else did this you would come down hard on them. Absolutely ZERO evidence this stuff does anything. But I suppose the rubeS will go for it. You sure do know your audience, I’ll give you that.

    • DOUCHe
      December 18, 2019 at 9:02 pm

      I bet if you gave it whirl, it would be 4 uppercase letters in your handle instead of, you know, just three upper and a lower. Try it out!

    • Yup
      December 18, 2019 at 11:53 pm

      Sweet reply, Rian

    December 18, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    I have been trying to quit coffee for over a year and tried everything under the son . The withdrawals is as bad as a drug addict on opiates . I ended up in the er. After the second week and said f this I am keeping my coffee . I wanna try this !

    • g
      December 19, 2019 at 3:59 pm

      as bad as opiate withdrawal??? wow. gimme a break its COFFEE! you are clueless.

  • Y
    December 18, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    I would like to request you sell herbal penis enlargement pills in the store please.
    They’re not for me but for a friend.

    • Kra
      December 18, 2019 at 8:07 pm

      How about that Kratom they sell at my gas station?

    • G
      December 19, 2019 at 3:58 pm

      as bad as opiate withdrawal??? wow. gimme a break its COFFEE! you are clueless.

  • I like being stoned
    December 18, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    Lemme know when you get vape cartridges.

  • Dr. John
    December 18, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    Coming soon, TBS fleshlights!

  • E. Norma Stitz
    December 18, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    CBD, sweet. I remember when I was 13.

    Smoke flower and stop being a pussy.

  • MamaBear
    December 18, 2019 at 2:09 pm

    Sham-wow, you don’t get how life works, do you? People who amass a huge following on social media often plug products they believe in and they do so in order to make a profit from their investment of themselves in the world of social media. Personally, I think TB has earned the right to make a little bank off of his exceptional record of service to the media in Massachusetts. I’ve never tried CBD but I may just do so now.

  • Sham-wow guy
    December 18, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    What’s next turtle boy, cutco knives and then some primerica insurance??? You got any Tupperware or Avon skin so soft you want to get rid of?

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