Bone Ride

Turtleboy Is Taking A Stand Against Shitty Dunkin Donuts Coffee Like This One

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Pardon me while I rant, but what just happened to me happens all time time and it’s time that we addressed it. What the hell is this?


I’ll tell you what that is – laziness. Pure, unadulterated, no fucks given, laziness. Seriously, how hard is it to shake the coffee up? What I normally do when this happens (which it does at least 75% of the time) is I shake it up right in front of their face. Then they look at me and hand 45 napkins and give me the look like I’m a big slob. Hey genius, I ordered a coffee with cream and sugar. I want them all mixed together, not separate. When I order a bacon cheeseburger they don’t give me a plate of bacon, two buns, a piece of cheese, and some ground beef. It’s all one package that comes together. Not that hard.

The thing is I knew it would look like this the second I ordered it and I got the confirmation back through the drive through:

khhhhreeeeem and shooooo-gaaahhhh?”

Yup. My coffee was gonna come out looking like a pallet of brown sample paint colors. And just looking at it I knew it would taste like cat piss. Oh who am I kidding? I knew it would taste like cat piss the second I heard – “khhhhreeeeem and shooooo-gaaahhhh?”

I’m not trying to stereotype or anything here, but there are certain groups of people who make coffee better than others. That’s just a scientific fact. For instance, I prefer my coffee be made by a young Puerto Rican girl. It’s always just the right amount of cream and sugar every time. But I feel like in Eastern Europe, they went without quality coffee for so long because the communists rationed everything that was good, that they’ve been trained to think that all coffee has to taste like three day old diarrhea.

It’s all about which Dunkins you go to. The most consistent tasting, quality coffees come from the Dunks on Route 20 near the Shrewsbury-Worcester line. It’s like a little slice of heaven. Another quality one is the one in the center of Oxford. How many Dunkins are there in Worcester, 15-20? Every one of them makes it differently. And you know which ones are the good ones and which are the bad ones. I’m not saying where I got this one from, but the place is notorious for being awful. As a matter of fact this makes me wanna do a tour de Worcester Dunkin Donuts and rank them all.

You’re free to guess where this one came from, but we also wanna hear your thoughts about where the best and the worst DD’s are in and around the Woo.

P.S. Free Dunkins on Monday after the Patriots run train all over the Colts hopes and dreams tomorrow night.

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible: Wormtown BreweryUnion TavernScavone PlumbingMichael GaffneyBennie’s CafeCraftech RestorationJJM InsuranceSmokestack Urban BarbecueAttorney Michael ErlichH-S Trading FirearmsSmitty’s TavernJulio’s LiquorsHomeWarrantyReports.comThe Gun Parlor Range3B AutoPepe’s RestaurantFiresafe Chimney ServicesAttorney Anthony SalernoNorth End Motor SalesMass Fury

Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.



64 Comment(s)
  • boomshakalaka
    October 20, 2015 at 8:53 am

    I have heard from some people that DD give them the pops

    • Finnish Goalie
      October 20, 2015 at 8:56 am

      Why not?

  • boomshakalaka
    October 20, 2015 at 8:51 am

    Sorry – but I dont like DD’s . i think they do an awful job with coffee . but is cheaper than Starbucks – thats the shit right there and if you dont like it or it doesnt taste the way you expect . they give you another one ..

  • Jay
    October 19, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    Tatnuck Sq. is the worst Dunkin Donuts on the planet..I literally have boycotted them all because of the service and quality from this place…ill get my fat ass out of the truck to go in Boston Donuts or Donut Cafe or any other mom and pop operation any day to avoid these shitholes #Irunonlocalstufffuckyoudunkys

  • Gee
    October 19, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    I hear that drinking Dinkin? Iced coffee gives you a big clock

  • Wheelwright
    October 19, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    I had already ordered my DD coffe black as usual at the Ware store. This specimen of health, probably 30 and pushing 350 plus, wheezes and waddles his blobness to the counter. He orders a great one with 15 sugars and 15 creams! No shit! He is a regular there apparently. Until v-fib sets in and he vapor locks.

    I didn’t wait to see if he paid with his EBT, or maybe they’re smarter than that?

  • Mousy
    October 19, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    You shouldn’t NEED cream and sugar to make your coffee palatable. I’m not saying anyone SHOULD drink it black, but cream and sugar should be a choice, not a necessity. At DD, the cream and sugar are not optional, and frankly, that’s just nasty.

    We need a Peet’s in the Woo.

  • Pagano's Pucker
    October 19, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    That ice coffee could have come from Rt 140 on the Boylston/Shrewsbury line.
    Never stirred always looks like a poop rainbow.

    best is Rt 20 near Rt 9
    always mixed, super fast drive through just dont think you are going to take a left on 20W to head back to Worc.
    You will get t-boned

  • Dm
    October 19, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Thank you! I thought me and my friend were the only two people who getting fed up with Dunkin Donut’s service as of late. It feels like they have some kind of program in place to specifically recruit broken English speaking Eastern Europeans. Ever other time I go there, our orders are always screwed up. And on a couple of occasions I had to make a complaint to their regional bosses over the shoddy service.
    Unless it’s out in the boonies, we just stick to Starbucks and Honey Dew for our coffee and donut needs.

  • Phil
    October 19, 2015 at 7:53 am

    That sorry excuse of a coffee had to have come from Tatnuck square. The absolute worst dunkins i have ever encountered.

  • Des
    October 18, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Get over yourself dude. It’s fucking coffee.

    • Finnish Goalie
      October 19, 2015 at 8:00 am

      If it’s something America runs on, it should be prepared with pride, good sir.

  • MS
    October 18, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    White city is the best in te area. it is also one of the oldest.
    W Boylston St is the worst. They could screw up a hot black coffee and the store is filthy.

  • Sissy Hankshaw
    October 18, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    best dunkin donuts is honey dew.

  • Katie80
    October 18, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    The Webster Square Dunkin’ is ass! I like the one in Leicester center, they make it well every time. But, I really prefer the Dippin’ Donuts on Main Street! Their food and coffee are way better than anything Dunkin sells!

  • Frogshit
    October 18, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    Dunkin’ Fuckin’ Donuts SUCKS!
    You’re all a bunch of fucking sheep!

    • TurtleBoySpurts
      October 19, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Gotta agree with you on this one, Dougie. The poor Turtles and their fearless leader can’t seem to help but be hapless victims, even when it comes to something simple like getting a decent cup of coffee. I’d tell them the secret, but I do so love their whining and carrying on. Besides, most of them would continue to choose Dishwater Donuts just to spite me. Morons being morons. The entertainment factor, it’s “huuuge”.

      • Finnish Goalie
        October 19, 2015 at 11:23 am

        What’s up, dude? Been a while. 🙂

  • Scott Zajkowski
    October 18, 2015 at 11:53 am

    IMHO there was s no such thing as a good Dunkin Donut! It is my belief that 90% of those going to DD are just coffee blind. The other 10% have no taste buds. There coffee is weak and becomes bitter as it cools. Many time it is burnt. McDonald’s coffee is better. Cumbys is better than Mc D, and Dippin Donuts is the best for chain coffee shops.

  • deb
    October 18, 2015 at 9:44 am

    Honeydew is way better and the food is too. I agree every DD is different. Shrewsbury st. One is good.

  • davidsl88
    October 18, 2015 at 9:06 am

    It had to have come from Grafton St. I stopped going to there and DD in general years ago (filthy/rotten service/shitty coffee/impossible to understand a word they say). For coffee on the run I go to the Honeydew on Grafton St. Not only is the coffee and service superior, it’s so much easier to get out of the driveway, even if you’re taking a left across traffic. Here’s my favorite DD story: Me: Hi, I’ll have a medium black. They: Ya want cream and sugar in that?

    • QueenBee
      October 19, 2015 at 4:44 am

      The service at that Honey Dew is fantastic, isn’t it?! Such a difference.

  • Basset
    October 18, 2015 at 8:41 am

    In my opinion the best Dunkin to go to is the one on the corner of Main and Front. Yeah they take their time there but they always get your order right. I drink the dark roast with milk, two sugars, and medium-sized turbo shot in my iced coffee.

  • BlackandWhite
    October 18, 2015 at 8:28 am

    I never EVER use the drive through.
    I cannot understand them. They cannot understand me.
    If we are face to face, at least it’s easier to read lips.

    In the early 80’s, Dunkin’s had the BEST coffee flavor. But now it’s very acidic and bitter.

    And is it me or are the donuts at Dunkins getting SMALLER and made sloppier??
    How hard it is to uniformly frost a frickin’ donut?

    Gourmet Donuts in West Boylston has superior donuts and a large variety of coffee flavors, but parking sux.
    If I want really good donuts, I take a drive to Jumbo Donuts in Whitinsville.
    Donut Cafe has good donuts, but they run out of most donuts by 7 am. So why bother making that trip?

    Best coffee: make it at home and pour into travel mug. Perfect every time.

  • RJ
    October 18, 2015 at 7:32 am

    I agree that the one on 20 is great. The big drawback? No drive thru. Of course, maybe that’s why it’s so good. They don’t have some idiot ordering 14 sandwiches, a dozen donuts and 36 coffees, all made different ways at the drive thru and then sitting there looking around like he’s wondering why it’s taking so long.

    • RJ
      October 18, 2015 at 8:58 am

      In this same line of thought, the one across from the Auburn Mall is good, too, because they have a hard limit of 2 sandwiches per order at the drive thru. Ordering more? Go inside. That’s the way God intended the drive thru to operate.

  • The Philistine
    October 18, 2015 at 6:57 am

    Used to go to the one at the corner of Millbury and Ward before they changed. The 290 ramps. Anyone go there anymore?

  • scrapdogg
    October 18, 2015 at 6:51 am

    Gourmet Donuts on WBoylston Street in WB lured me away from the evil empire. They got a an ice coffee so huge cupholders fear it! I am going to go out on a limb and say Dunks will not be signing up for advert space on this website but you knew that already.

  • WTF...Worcestee
    October 18, 2015 at 6:15 am

    I stopped going to Dunkins. Dippin’ in Dudley has gotten mine right every time, no problems, they are fast, and I love the girls!! Dunkins is a bunch of pouty teenagers or adults who have nothing going for them. Dippin’ is sweet women who care about the customer and always smile

  • Nicole
    October 18, 2015 at 1:56 am

    I stopped going to dunkins years ago. I feel like it’s a job requirement to be a bad listener and even worse than them messing up my order consistently is that their coffee hasn’t actually tasted good in years, I’d rather just make it at home instead of waste my money because I end up throwing it away.

  • Chris
    October 18, 2015 at 12:59 am

    Since I Live in Auburn I go to the one on South Bridge St. And they make my coffee accurate 98% of the time. So Im always happy to go there.

  • Wabbitt
    October 18, 2015 at 12:42 am

    I swear, the jittery crackheads always want their iced coffee with almost all sugar and cream. And the best are the ones who order it with like fifteen sugar, then ask for more sugar on the side.

    It’s like they need a sugar buzz to hold them over until their dealer shows up.

  • Dat
    October 17, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    Gave up on them years ago.
    Honeydew is good with me.

  • Larry Mondello
    October 17, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    The donuts suck , the regular and iced tastes ok but nothing special. The real reason DD is so popular is because of the crack. Get it? It’s the crack jack!

  • Bill
    October 17, 2015 at 9:54 pm

    The one on Gold Star Blvd is excellent. Coffee is never burnt and they always get my order correct.

    • The Philistine
      October 18, 2015 at 6:54 am

      But if you are on Goldstar, there is Honeydew.

  • WTF
    October 17, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Almost all the Dunks in NH ask if you want your sugar melted..I was so confused the first time I was asked if I wanted my sugar melted..Have never been asked that in Wooster..Get a glass and pour out that iced coffee and see how much actual coffee you are getting without the ice if you want to be angry about something..A large iced coffee with cream has about 6 ounces of coffee in it (Half of what is in a can of soda)..Iced coffee is the best scam going in the coffee business

  • Ry
    October 17, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    Bro, just man up and start drinking it black. Better for you anyway.

    …wait, sounds like someting Old Balls would recommend… damn. I swear man, I drink it that way because it’s healthier!

  • Katt
    October 17, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Probably Kelley sq they mess up everyone’s someone posted in a site on Fb that some girl at Kelley so spit in a ice coffee she witnessed the girl do it an got out of the car an told the girl what the person did !

  • GoWPD
    October 17, 2015 at 8:55 pm

    7/11 has the most majestic coffee station ever. Sure you have to waddle on in and make it yourself, but its worth it to avoid the above story. They have a great selection of coffee flavors, with corresponding cream flavors(french vanilla coffee with a french vanilla creamer) But I think theres only a few in the city.

  • Coffee Turtle
    October 17, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    Oxford center gave me a Boston creme with a LIT CIGARETTE BUTT inside it… holy f*** I had to have my friend stop on the side of the road so I could throw up….
    other than that I’ve had very few problems with DD.
    HONEY FARMS coffee however, can suck turtle balls. They jack you on the size and taste.

  • GoneWest
    October 17, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    That HAD to come from the Dunks and Tatnuck square.

  • Dippin Girl
    October 17, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    Love Dippin on Main Street. They make my large decaf ice coffee extra dark no sugar perfectly!

  • Woo Town Crew
    October 17, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Dunkin makes the best iced coffee, bar none. Charbucks tastes like burnt ashes. Honey Dew…hahahaha. Gourmet Donuts? hot coffee with ice in it, which coffee sucks to start. In House? Tastes like yesterday’s leftover coffee put into the fridge.

    Why didn’t you just ask the Dunkin coffee lady to stir it for you? I had to but once. Now they know me and my coffee is ready (and stirred) every morning in Worcester. Tatnuck Square or Kelly Sq are my Dunk runs Can’t speak for the others

    • QueenBee
      October 19, 2015 at 4:38 am

      The Honey Dew on Grafton Street is better than any Dunks I’ve been to. Coffee is great, and the customer service is amazing.

      Inhouse is phenomenal, as well.

      I think you might be crazy. =)

  • cm
    October 17, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    I swear, Dunkin’s will be single handedly responsible for the creation of a new hybrid form of diabetes. I’m surprised TB has yet to do a blog on the “Laaaaaahge EXTRA EXTRA” customers at Dunks. I love how they have turned a 20oz cup of sugar and saturated fat into a cute catch please.
    The worst dump by far is at the corner is Plantation and Lincoln, where GBV finest have turned giving a fuck less into an art form.

  • Tom mahoney
    October 17, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    Boston donuts. End of discussion

    • Paying The Bills
      October 17, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      Boston Donuts is the absolute dirtiest do out shop in the city. I would not eat or drink anything there. My kid worked there and came home with tales of filth and lazy attempts at sanitation galore. No way.

  • Target Practice
    October 17, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    DD at Lincoln and Plantation is an absolute abortion always. If its not the worst one you’ve ever been to, then you’ve never been there

  • ItsAllABadDream
    October 17, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Corner of Main and Shrewsbury St in Holden is hit or miss. The service is usually ridiculously slow on a constant basis but 50% of the time the coffee quality is pretty good. The other 50% they hump it up. I take skim milk only. No sugar, no cream. When they screw it up and give me a regular it F’s up my whole day. Can’t even THINK about drinking it…

  • B to the Z
    October 17, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    Not all are that bad. I hate all the worcester ones. The rutland center one is the only one with people that have had English as a FIRST language. And as it was explained to me, they can order say 500 donuts, but can only get say 300, because of “production limitations”, whatever the fuck that means.

  • M.Anna
    October 17, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    I’ve never had any issue with the dunkies on old Millbury st (old 146, corner of ward and millbury) perfectly blended, no sugar sitting at the bottom. The girl that works there takes actual sugar, pours a dab of hot coffee to melt it, stirs, adds 1/4 cup of ice, then coffee and finally cream to the color of my liking. She’s amazing!!!!

  • Drylaw
    October 17, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Dunks at flynns on 20 is good
    Love Cumberland farms though for the aforesaid reasons
    Best coffee and corn muffin though by far is donut star on 122 in grafton, try the jelly sticks. I’m a fat bastid and appreciate a good donut

  • 1.5million.views...yeah.right
    October 17, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    Swish a straw around like twice and it’s mixed. You spent more time complaining about this, you could have mixed all your coffees in your lifetime.

    • October 17, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      You clicked on the blog and commented on it, which is the whole point of running a business like this. But please let’s hear some more advice on what we should and shouldn’t be writing about.

    • The Philistine
      October 18, 2015 at 6:52 am

      Except he is paying for a service, jack off.

  • Wtf
    October 17, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    The DD on west boylston st is always out of something (like donuts…how does a donut place run out of donuts? It’s like Monty pythons cheese shop sketch)

    And they ALWYAS forget at least one thing at the drive thru – so you have to pull over and go in anyway.

    Then they have the nerve to put out a tip jar.
    Hey – I don’t tip at ANY other fast food joint – why am I gonna tip you for messing up my order?

  • Anne
    October 17, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    I have no opinion on Worcester Dunkins as I don’t live in or near Worcester, but the thing that drives me insane about Dunkins is when they give you an iced coffee and all the damn ice is melted. It obviously is going to taste like not that cold, watered down crap. I know they must notice that they are handing you an iced coffee with just a couple pebble sized pieces of ice in it.

  • Sandee M.
    October 17, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    I agree with everything you said!! We have gotten so tired of it that we stopped going to dunkin and only drink coffee from cumbies now …it’s always good because I make it my way and the staff keep the coffee consistently fresh and as an added bonus it’s only a buck no matter what size!!! Free coffee Friday’s in October at cumbies just an FYI!

  • A. Dookie Pyle
    October 17, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    Three bucks for dishwater that doesn’t give the caffeine buzz. Ridiculous.

    • A. Dookie Pyle
      October 18, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      Don’t get me wrong, love my dark roast, never know what it’s gonna taste like from one day to the next. Inconsistent every day.

  • dkp
    October 17, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    My son goes out of his way to get coffee from the one on rt 20 near shrewsbury. He says they make the best iced coffee. All this time I thought he was nuts.

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