Turtleboy Live Blog: Kavanaugh Hearing

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Today is the day America officially becomes a circus. Judge Kavanaugh and accuser #1 Christine Blasey-Ford will be testifying in front of 21 Senators on live TV starting at 10 PM. Only in America can the fate of the country revolve around the people running our country asking a federal judge about who he did or did not bang in high school. Everyone’s gonna be watching this, so we’re gonna be live blogging it. Keep refreshing this blog for live commentary. We only did this once before  – election night – and it was a big hit. Here’s the link to that blog. We’ll also be live tweeting on @Nunchuck_Ninja (an account that miraculously has lasted two weeks now without being shut down) so follow us on Twitter here if you’re a tweeter.


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What a day. I need a cigarette. Brett Kavanaugh is going to be a Supreme Court justice because 1) he went on the offensive instead of the defensive, and 2) Lindsey Graham murdered the democrats. Kavanaugh was careful never to call Ford a liar and came across as sympathetic to her. At the end of the day both Ford and Kavanaugh were presented as victims, and the villains were Michael Avenatti and the democrats on the committee. I can’t see anyway now that Kavanaugh isn’t going to get on. Every person on the fence has an excuse to vote for him now.



After Ford’s testimony the Vegas odds were that Kavanaugh would not get confirmed. Now he’s at -300 (bet 300 to win 100) and is a heavy favorite to get in. His testimony has been unbelievably effective. Vegas doesn’t give money away.




Cory Booker starts off by asking Kavanaugh, “did you drink during the week, or just on the weekends?” And “does ‘skis’ refer to brewskis?” How can anyone vote for a tool like this?




Imagine being asked about a chick from high school that you may or may not have tried to score with 35 years ago while trying to get on the Supreme Court. This is what this freaky looking Senator from Connecticut is doing right now




My high school yearbook is filled with inside jokes and references to farting, keg parties, and girls. Guess I’m unemployable too.



We’re about to appoint a guy to the Supreme Court and democrats are going through his yearbook asking about fart jokes and pretending to be morally offended by drinking games. Remember when democrats were fun?







I cannot get over the fact that the plan for democrats here was to go through his high school yearbook. “Senator Whitehouse, we were referring to flatulence. We were 16.” Imagine living in a world where you have to explain inside jokes from your high school yearbook in order to get a job. This is what democrats want. Insane.




Lindsey Graham just lit the Senate on fire. That was the single greatest rant I have EVER heard from an elected official. Republicans should’ve done this from the beginning.




They are really busting out his high school yearbook and asking about what he meant by things. The democratic party is a complete and utter joke.




Asked about the creepy porn lawyer’s latest client who accused him of drugging and gang raping chicks:

“The Swetnik thing is a joke. It’s a farce.”

He’s speaking like a regular person. This is exactly what he should’ve said. That was an absolutely joke, and not even a remotely believable story.



Feinstein: “Why aren’t you asking the FBI to investigate you?”

Because that’s not how this works idiot.




He’s specifically calling out Senators who have done such damage to him personally for their own political benefit. SJWs hate it. He’s doing something right.



Kavanaugh has names, dates, he knows what he was doing every single weekend of 1982. The left wing radical trying to smear him doesn’t have ANY of those things. It’s clear who is telling the truth here.



Nice to see Kavanaugh is here to fight. He’s angry. He’s got facts. He’s not fucking around.



Lindsey Graham is killing it right now. He’s pointing out all the things the lawyer never did.




Break time. That was a disaster for Republicans. The lawyer completely failed and focused on stupid shit that doesnt matter – who’s paying for her lawyer, where she was when she took a polygraph. Should’ve nailed her on the fact that she has no witnesses, doesn’t remember who drove her there or home, and had gaps in her story. Democrats did what they always do – virtue signaled and told her how brave and courageous she was.




Grassly: We have testimony from 3 witnesses who say this never happened.

Blumenthal: We have testimony from her friends and family who say she’s brave.




Republicans are running out of time. It’s like a boxing match and we’re in round 10. The lawyer should be asking about  the lack of witnesses and anyone corroborating her story. Instead they’re wasting times talking about polygraphs.




The lawyer isn’t doing a good job. I don’t see the purpose of asking her about who Ford is paying for legal services. Just poke holes in her story. She says she doesn’t remember who drove her home after the most traumatic event of her life. How is that possible?




Judge Kavanaugh better come out guns firing. If he tries to pull the altar boy bullshit and act like he didn’t like to party and hang out with chicks when he was in high school it’s not going to be a good look. Just be honest. I partied when I was a kid, then I graduated from college, got a real job, got married, had kids, and now I’m not very fun at all.




Christine Blasey-Ford’s high pitched innocent school girl’s voice is obviously fooling the easily duped people who already believed her before she started talking. Not Turtleboy though. We see through her bullshit.



There’s literally no point in democrats talking at all. Every single one of them just tells her how brave she is for getting death threats. This is a joke.



That was a long ass lunch. Good news – Spartacus, the crazy Hawaiian lady, and Kalama Pantsuit are up next. Fun is about to start.



This never happened




Kirsten Gillibrand just announced that she changed her mind and is voting for confirmation. Just kidding. Everyone has their minds made up already and this is just a waste of time.






Senator Coons: “What is your reaction to the saying boys will be boys?”

What. A. Joke.



Pretty much the only things she remembers 100% are things that seem to implicate Kavanaugh as some sort of serial rapist.




She initially said she couldn’t fly to Washington because she’s claustrophobic. Now admits she flew here. In other words, she’s a liar.



Sheldon White house just ranted for five minutes and didn’t ask any questions. What a gigantic waste of time.



So she doesn’t remember who drove her home or picked her up that night. OK.




This has been a disaster for Republicans so far. The prosecutor begins to ask relevant and tough questions, and the second she gets going it’s time for a democrat to lob her a bunch of softballs.



“With what degree of certainty to do you believe Judge Kavanaugh assaulted you.”


These are some tough questions here. Really clearing up a lot of misconceptions I previously had.



Dick Durbin: “You have absolutely nothing to gain by coming forward.”

Except for a book deal, canonization as a hero, and keeping a Trump SCOTUS nominee off the court.



This formatting is a joke. The lawyer starts asking tough questions and then they go to five minutes of political grandstanding from democrats.




Senator Leahy wants a FBI investigation. Translation – he wants to delay this until after the election. He also just mentioned the fake gang rape story that came from the creepy porn lawyer. The fact that anyone takes that story seriously immediately disqualifies everything they have to say.




She says it “absolutely cannot” be a case of mistaken identity because of brain function. But she can’t remember the date or location of the incident. Sure thing.



She actually said that she got a second front door installed because she’s claustrophobic due to Brett Kavanaugh. This is unreal.




The only person who should be asking any questions is the prosecutor. All Feinstein and company are going to do is toss her softballs over and over again. This is a farce.




She hosts Google interns at her house because she lives in the most liberal part of the country. It’s almost as if she has motivation to try to keep a Trump nominee off the Supreme Court.



“People are being mean to me on Twitter.” Welcome to the Internet moron.



“I’m getting death threats, wah, wah, wah.” We get death threats EVERY SINGLE DAY. You don’t think Kavanaugh’s family has gotten threats? Maxine Waters urged people to confront Trump supporters in public and let them know they’re not welcome here. Shut up.




Blue checkmarks be like, “why would she lie?” 1) Book deal, 2) immediate canonization by the left, 3) keeping a Trump nominee from getting onto the Supreme Court




Not a single democratic senator is going into this with an open mind. They already know exactly how they’re going to vote. Republicans can’t say the same.




All Ford has done so far is repeat everything that’s already been made public about her allegations. Except she’s pretending to be holding back tears to make it seem more authentic. What a sham.




Just gonna leave this here:



So she brought this all to light during a home renovation project. Who coached her to incorporate this into her story?



So 2 guys trapped her in a room, pinned her down, wouldn’t let her yell, and she miraculously escaped them. OK.




There’s no way she makes it through this hearing without crying. Let the show begin.




This woman has drank more water than Marco Rubio doing Zoomba. How long until she needs a pee break?






Feinstein is STILL TALKING!! Now we’re discussing that Kavanaugh got drunk when he was in college, which obviously disqualifies you from serving on the Supreme Court.




Why is Dianne Feinstein bringing up allegations from people who are not testifying at this hearing? Why is she phrasing it like it’s a statement of fact and not an unsubstantiated allegation? Oh right, because the presumption of innocence is no longer a thing.





Diane Feinstein: “I’ll make this brief.”

Still talking.




Just saw that Charlie Baker is demanding an independent investigation of Kavanaugh. This is the same guy who refused to do an independent investigation of the State Police and how they hired a known drug dealer that the MSP themselves investigated.






Diane Feinstein, who knew about this allegation two months ago and said nothing, is pretending to care about this woman. Amazing.




She looks like fun



10:14Chuck Grassley has found a way to make this boring. Shut up and lets go.







Never mind, there she is. Let’s get this party started.




Two minutes late. What are the odds she doesn’t show up?




59 Comment(s)
  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    September 28, 2018 at 11:09 am

    I saw Channel 5 Boston news this morning. Basically their coverage was a opium addicted looking prof from Harvard saying it looked like Ford was telling the truth and Kavannah was not telling the truth. Then they showed the Tall Deval tweet saying he supported Ford. LOL what the fuck else do you think he would say? He needs Democrats to vote for him.

  • James Marshall
    September 28, 2018 at 6:42 am

    The Republicans may be be fat, drunk, greedy and lazy, but the Democrats are full blown communist psychopaths. This entire shit show of lies and false accusations had one purpose. To derail the government and its process of appointing a conservative Judge to the highest court in the country. Feminazis, the media, the educational system, the social media giants of Facebook, Twitter and Google, plus all of the shit bags in Hollyweird are all far left demented goblins. To hell with every single one of these insane bastards. Kavanaugh will be voted in today and the meltdown from the mentally ill children trapped in adult bodies will be epic.

    • John Wayne
      September 28, 2018 at 11:34 am

      You talking to me, kid? I’ll slap your commie ass back to Leningrad.

  • Turd Ferguson
    September 28, 2018 at 5:01 am

    If he doesn’t get in I’m gonna riot in the streets with a case of skis and a blond plastic sex doll named Hot Lips.

  • Dr. Wacko
    September 28, 2018 at 3:32 am

    I lied today on many occaissions but my biggest whopper was the front door building permit I stated came about in my 2012 counseling sessions and stated because of my trauma with Kavanaugh I applied for door permit in 2012. My memory was playing games on me because it was 2008 that I applied for building permit. Wait I think I said that the court transcriber got it wrong just like my therapist got the notes wrong too. Did you like my sexy porn voice I used today. Not how I really talk but well it fit the cirCUMstances

  • Swetnick
    September 28, 2018 at 3:26 am

    Webtrends firing.
    Unemployment fraud
    sexual harasment
    tax liens
    fraudulant resume
    These are somethings turtleboy may want to know about me

  • Must Have Been Nice
    September 27, 2018 at 11:09 pm

    I honestly can’t relate to these people because I was never a member of an exclusive Country Club. My monthly Calendar was never like theirs….5 days of exams, 8 day beach week? 7 day Basketball camp etc.? I had to work washing dishes.

    • Hughbo Mont
      September 28, 2018 at 10:54 am

      Boo hoo

  • Fred Knessl
    September 27, 2018 at 9:24 pm

    Sheldon Whitehouse. From this week on he will be Shittin’ Shithouse. I actually VOTED for this piece of shit, had his signs in my front yard. Thought he was DIFFERENT!!! Yup. I will never consider this vile puke a productive member of society or even a human being. Gotta protect women’s rights, play the fucking PATHETIC LIBERAL GAME and help block any real change in this country.
    Fuck you Sheldon Whitehouse you Piece of Shit.

  • Tom Blackburn
    September 27, 2018 at 8:59 pm

    Confirmation tomorrow, RAPE LEGAL ON MONDAY!!!! MAGA!!!!!

  • Just a rant
    September 27, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    Im an independent. Don’t live in Ma. I would love to vote democrat because I don’t make a lot of money. However, I don’t identify with their values. This whole Kavanaugh thing is a complete fucking scam. Anyone that wants to be honest with themselves can see it. Some cunt insinuated that because he drank beer in high school that he may be an alcoholic today like her 90 year old father who still attends aa meetings. You know what, cunt? I say let that man have his beer. He’s 90 for christ sakes! I don’t like trannies, don’t care if you are one, but your interests are not more important than the other 98% of this country, theres only 2 sexes, I like unions, dislike illegal immigration, I hate Lizzy Warren, think geoff diehl is a posing cuck who doesn’t really want to win, think don orsillo really enjoys finger banging his boi pussy during the broadcast, think dave o’brien sucks as well, thinks jerry remy is an enabler and should have been fired, think republicans other than trump suck, think term limits need to be seriously enforced and mandated. So, how do i vote? I cent be alone, but man i feel alone when it comes to politics.

  • Notta Rapist
    September 27, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    What a disgusting waste of tax payer money. Get him in, already. He’s been through enough.

  • Mrs SweatNDick
    September 27, 2018 at 6:48 pm

    I saw his cock in my face and think he was with this Baker fella

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 27, 2018 at 6:39 pm

    Fuckin’ lyinstein. The cunt who abhors the 2nd Amendment. She just lied on national tv.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      September 28, 2018 at 11:01 am

      No shit. Her and her staff were the only ones with access to the letter but it must have been Ford’s friends who leaked it. How could you not want to slap her upside the head? Just the look on that cunt’s face while she was lying through her teeth was sickening.

  • Judge dread
    September 27, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    This is one of the most rediculous things I’ve ever seen. I remember Thomas back in 1991 when I was like 11 and I thought the pube on the soda can with Anita hill was bullshit. This is next level bullshit.

    This is your government at work folks.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 27, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    Delay, delay, delay…couldn’t be more blatant. These cunts on the PBS stream suck. Nancy of the crackers Graham was fired up…like he was talking about bombing school buses in Syria or Yemen.

  • Phong
    September 27, 2018 at 4:42 pm

    With this guys balls, he will not only help drain the swamp, but he’ll fucking plant corn!

    They just want the delay.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 27, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    “I like beer.” Hear hear! I like it so well I learned to make my own.
    He’s gonna’ need a break after all that water.
    Is anyone going to reference Kavanaughs’ mother foreclosing on Fords mothers’ house back in the 80s?
    Swettynipple was in hock for nearly 200k to the IRS and MD
    Her lawyer said she holds a sec clearance…I call bs. You have to be pretty clean and not in debt up to your ears to get a security clearance. I know this due to my Q/TS clearance many years ago.
    Whats up with comments not posting?

    • Arch Stanton
      Arch Stanton
      September 27, 2018 at 6:53 pm

      According to a screenshot of her fed jobs, she was with the State and Judice departments and it showed her “clearance”. She has a “public trust”, which is basically just a check in the box for any Federal position. It’s an SF-85, “Questionnaire for Non-Sensitive Positions.” The SF-85 is used to request NACI investigations to support Low-Risk positions. SF-86 is for actual security clearances.

  • Sen Cory Booger (Communist- Noviy Dzhersi)
    September 27, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Creepy Porn Lawyer/Spartacunt 2020

  • Phong
    September 27, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    This poor guy. He is angry, humiliated and destroyed. Just because people don’t want Trump succeeding.

  • Brizee
    September 27, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    I was on fence however, he is doing very well. Let’s see. Go kavanaugh

  • randiguy2006
    September 27, 2018 at 2:30 pm

    GOP is so gutless having the ugly broad ask all their questions.

    Who paid for the polygraph? Yeah…that’s the big point here. WTF.

    If Kavanaugh had any balls he’d cop to being a doosh bag frat boy instead of Little Lord Fauntleroy. (Google it morons.)

    • Phong
      September 27, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      They want real answers idiot. You bring in a pro for that. The polygraph question is about finding out about who’s behind this.

      • Randaleisha Delgado
        September 28, 2018 at 11:25 am

        “Randy” is Didi Delgado. She’s huge, fat, black and stupid. Obviously she was born that way. She just became a homo because the brothers wouldn’t fuck her if they were on PCP.

    • Ryan
      September 27, 2018 at 4:38 pm

      It was a smart move to have a seasoned prosecutor ask those questions because it keeps the hearing focused on actually trying to determine if Ford had anything to offer in terms of evidence as opposed to grandstanding, which every politician does when a microphone is around (they just can’t help themselves). Everyone knew that Democrats were going to emote about how brave she is, how every accuser should be believed (except Keith Ellison’s), and how credible she seems (regardless of what she actually said which can be summed up in “I don’t remember”) but the point of this entire hearing is not whether Ford appears or sounds credible, but whether she can provide anything that possibly resembles evidence. Every witness has denied her claim, which was the case before and is the case now and an FBI investigation will do nothing.

      Sorry, but who paid for a two question polygraph test administered in a hotel room the day of or day after (she can’t remember, of course) her grandmother’s funeral a few months ago next to the airport before she flew back home (why didn’t she drive since she is so afraid of flying?) is highly relevant. This is clearly a political hit job, which anyone who has even the slightest shred of intellectual objectivity can see, and if she didn’t pay for it then who did? Her lawyer interrupted (because even she could see how damaging it is to her client’s credibility, never mind the fact that she cannot recall anything from an event so traumatic that her entire life has been affected) and stated that she paid for it, which is customary, but who is paying the lawyer? Did Ford provide a retainer? Is her lawyer doing this out of the kindness of her heart? It is also important to note that her lawyer happens to have pictures and videos all over the internet showing her to be an unhinged resistance wacko and was recommended to Ford by Feinstein, who conveniently did not bring up these events when questioning Kavanaugh months ago and waited until the last minute to try and derail his nomination.

      You ask below if anyone who doubts Ford has a daughter but I ask you, do you have a son? Would you be ok with your son having his life essentially ruined based on an unsubstantiated claim from over 30 years ago by someone who literally cannot remember anything about it except that it was definitely your son? I do not agree with Kavanaugh’s stance on the 4th Amendment but this process has made me view him as sympathetic and his accusers as severely lacking credibility. Unless any of them can point to anything substantiating their claims, other than their own words, they need to be ignored and a vote needs to be held. This disgraceful circus has gone on long enough.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 27, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    What an utter shitshow. Three witnesses… Time for a recess. GFY filthy rat lawyers.

  • Zumbafreak
    September 27, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    zumba not zoomba.

  • You dont
    September 27, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    I love the turtle but complaining about the format of the meeting is stupid as fuck. Its a republican chaired committee. The pubs literally make the rules here.

  • Josef Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili "Stalin"
    September 27, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    I fully approve. Is perfectly accept to eliminate you opponent by any means necessary.

  • Becky
    September 27, 2018 at 12:29 pm

    These updates are everything. Keep ‘em coming!

    • Oxtail Soup Honkey
      September 27, 2018 at 1:40 pm

      OK, “Ran-didi” Delgado.

      Hey, want another honkey to bring you some “oxtail soup”? Bwahahahahaha!!!

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 27, 2018 at 12:07 pm

    That letter has been outed as a possible fraud/fake.
    Never trust a woman who ends her sentences in a higher pitch of voice.
    Im no fan of the judge but he deserves a fair shake.
    She is a liar.

    • Y
      September 27, 2018 at 12:25 pm

      Never trust a woman with a hyphenated last name.

      • randiguy2006
        September 27, 2018 at 12:32 pm

        Never believe a frat boy doosh named Brett.

        • Guidance Counselor
          September 27, 2018 at 1:36 pm

          Hey Didi, you’d better teach Egypt how to suck cocks. As you know, blacks like to start early, and just like you, she’s not going to be useful for anything else except complaining about whitey, and by the time she’s 3, nobody is going to give a shit about BLM anymore.

        • Dwayne Ingalls Glasscock
          September 27, 2018 at 10:56 pm

          It should be noted that Beta cuck randy is the swingman in a 2 in hand circle jerk demonstration team currently performing at Palo Alto university

  • BlackandWhite
    September 27, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    Ford looks like Garth from Waynes World.

    • Ding ding ding
      September 27, 2018 at 11:00 pm

      Oh my god! All evening I’ve been trying to pin who she looks like. I was leaning towards an escaped inmate from the mental hospital in Ace Ventura
      Well done good sir or lady 

  • randiguy2006
    September 27, 2018 at 11:44 am

    She’s credible. I assuming you don’t have daughters. Kavanaugh is a dead man.

    • Monica Lewinsky's Father
      September 27, 2018 at 11:49 am

      Your daughters would suck Bill Clinton’s cock until he unloaded on their faces and dick slapped their foreheads.

      He’d get away with it too, since it’s only harassment if you don’t like it, and you won’t find a liberal virgin over the age of 14 since they’re not choosy at all.

      • randiguy2006
        September 27, 2018 at 12:12 pm

        Aren’t you precious.

    • Randy's Evil Imaginary Friend, Gary
      September 27, 2018 at 11:54 am

      I assume you’ve never been close to intimate with a woman at all. Isn’t that right, Randy? PS don’t slip up and tell mom about those strangled kittens behind the shed.

      • randiguy2006
        September 27, 2018 at 12:15 pm

        Wow. Clever.

        • Didi's Massive Stench Trench
          September 27, 2018 at 1:43 pm

          More importantly, don’t tell your mom that her granddaughter came from the spuzz of a gay felon.

  • Ginsburg officiated the wedding of guys who gang raped a subordinate
    September 27, 2018 at 11:30 am

    Two gay guys at least one of which is in an orchestra or some shit. Tore the poor dude’s asshole into pieces. It’s true. Google it.

  • Phong
    September 27, 2018 at 11:19 am

    Instead of saying something is burned into her memory, she’s giving a scientific explanation of how memories are formed. (Wrongly, BTW) Also using science explaining humiliation. So wrong.

  • Phong
    September 27, 2018 at 11:04 am

    None of this makes sense. Two front doors? Knowing he could be on SCOTUS in ’12? Jeebus!

    • ncfoothillbilly
      September 27, 2018 at 11:45 am

      Two front holes, not doors…b/c she claustrophobic…lol. Her coaches didn’t do well. This WaPo cunt just used the term, ‘mansplaining’. Fuck her right in her front hole.

  • Rage Against The Machine
    September 27, 2018 at 10:51 am

    Batshit Crazy Feminists On Parade

  • Rockets Redglare
    September 27, 2018 at 10:44 am

    Here comes the Salem witch trials 2018…

  • Ted Baxter
    September 27, 2018 at 10:30 am

    Did she expect to send a letter and remain anonymous. Plus, she sent it to Diane Feinstein. Remember, back in the 80’s Richard Ramirez was the Night Stalker in California. She tipped him off by releasing information the police wanted to remain confidential. All on the internet and in the books on the case.

    Who would want a job in public life after this.

  • Baker Mayfield
    September 27, 2018 at 9:53 am

    Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Steven Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan (oh and Liz Warren) gang raped me in 1988, 7 years before I was born. But according to democrats and antifa, you must believe all accustations

    • Stunt Penis
      September 27, 2018 at 10:32 am

      unless you’re a republican.

      • Screw PC
        September 27, 2018 at 11:09 am

        You don’t have to be Republican to not subscribe to the liberal sycophantic false ideologies and hair-trigger mob mentality that’s blind to political machinations. Republicans just happen to fall in that category.

        Conveniently, the Democrats are forgetting that not only did their bloated conniving messiah Bill Clinton assault several women when he was well beyond the age that you would need to be to buy alcohol, he stuffed a cigar in the cunt of a typically devoid of morals liberal starfucker intern who them proceeded to suck his cock until he unloaded his devil seed into her fat jowls.

        That’s why we’re around in the first place. We’re the buffer between the Democrats’ puerile emotional responses and complete destruction of the country. Without us, this country would be a flaming criminal third world wasteland. You know it, the Republicans know it, and the Democrats even know it, but they play their games regardless of that fact.

        So fist fuck your ass, eat shit, choke and die in agony, you fucking cocksucker.

  • Stunt Penis
    September 27, 2018 at 9:14 am

    Got my popcorn, waiting for the dog and pony show. Who needs Ringling Brothers when you have Washington.

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