By now everyone knows that Mike Felger is a blowhard yahoo whose sole purpose at 98.5 the Sports Hub is to say stupid things he doesn’t mean in order to provoke Massholes to yell at him. Naturally we decided to give him exactly what he wanted today and then some when we had one of our associates, Jay Turtleboy, call up the show and inform Felger that he is permanently banned from coming to Worcester. Here’s how it went down:
The reaction is exactly what we thought it would be. Felger fucking LOVED it. He lives to be the villain. It’s good for business. It’s why he destroys Dale Arnold and Michael Holley in the ratings.
But the fact of the matter is, Felger had ZERO response to the only question that mattered – if Brady is going to struggle with balls that are regulation PSI, then how come he sliced up the greatest defense since the 85 Bears in the Super Bowl with balls that were regulation PSI in the Super Bowl? The answer is of course, that it doesn’t really matter what the PSI of the balls are. At the end of the day Brady still has a golden arm and oozes machismo. He could throw bowling balls to Gronk and still win the Super Bowl.
And as for David Ortiz whining about playing first base, who gives a shit? Whining is what Papi does. Do you really care? He’s whined ever since he got to Boston and all he does in the meantime is hit the most clutch postseason home runs of all time. Three rings. End of story. He can whine until the cows come home. This is just Felger creating a faux outrage because it’s what he does.
Oh yea, and Jimmy Stewart, the producer who said that Worcester is a “dump,” is so full of shit. Because if you call Worcester a dump, you kind of have a point. But for whatever reason they started going off on what a dump Westboro was. Ya got that? Westboro!! Westboro is on my short list of towns I’d like to live in but where I’m probably blacklisted from. It’s way too nice for Turtleboy:
Our official proclamation that Felger is banned from Worcester apparently provoked a pro-Felger Worcesterite named “Matt from Worcester” to call up the program and attempt to make amends by inviting Felger to a Worcster barbecue:
Hey Matt, you’re a traitor and nobody likes you. You’re only inviting Felger to your barbecue because no one else will come. Plus, Felger’s right. We’ll have people at checkpoints at all of the exits on 495, making sure his yuppie, Wellesley ass stays in Eastern MA where he belongs.
And just to show you how much Felger gets off on when you shit on him, we made the “Final Word” and he loved every minute of it:
And just for fun, here’s a quick little Vine of Felger and Mazz taking dumps on the Woo:
Jokes on them. When’s the last time a President of the United States came to Wellesley for a high school graduation? Oh yea, never. Banned.