Hoodrat Heroes

Turtleboy Seeks Identity Of Holyoke Honky Donkey Who Drives To Busy Intersections, Pretends To Be Homeless During Rush Hour Traffic


Remember the Burlington Mall Fupaslug? Well she has some competition in Wesetern Mass. Meet the Holyoke Honky Donkey.

He apparently is an able bodied male who doesn’t feel like working, so he works the exit at I-91 and probably rakes in a shit ton of cash that he doesn’t have to report on his taxes. Would be a real shame if we found out who this guy was.

Your kids can’t go to school, but they can be accosted by maskless panhandlers who have come in contact with everyone getting off the highway during rush hour. Science.

Anyway, if one of my turtle people can run license plate 942 WN1, I’d love to know more about the Holyoke Honky Donkey. Maybe even have him on the live show to talk about why he feels the need to pretend to be homeless and starving.



Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


42 Comment(s)
  • A car doesn’t mean he has a home
    March 23, 2021 at 3:28 pm

    If you’re dumb enough to give your money to these people you deserve it!!!!

  • juror seven esq.
    March 19, 2021 at 7:56 pm

    Anytime I’m out in western Mass on a weekend I like to drive on State St. around A.I.C. I look for the brothers that out handing out issues of the Black newspaper Nation of Islam. they are polite, fairly well dressed and will engage in conversation when the light is red. The price on the paper is $2.00 but generally only give a buck. they see my Purple Heart plate and say thanks for your service. Doesn’t matter to me what they believe in or where the money goes. I enjoy the exchange.

  • The 413 is a Mess
    March 19, 2021 at 3:41 pm

    Holyoke has a big problem with this, & 90% of them are exactly like this guy. They are NOT homeless & drive to the diff intersections to beg all day. Sounds like a rough job! A lot of them make more doing this shit than I do slaving at my real job all day every day.

  • Travis Bickle
    March 19, 2021 at 9:54 am

    One more true story. Some years ago I went to a sandwich shop in downtown Boston with a female colleague from work. This woman was from rural New Hampshire and had no street smarts. There was a guy shaking a large styrofoam coffee cup full of change in front of the sandwich shop, panhandling. I ignored him, as I always do, and we entered the shop. As we were standing in line waiting to be served, the woman turned to me and said, “I’m going buy a sandwich for that poor man outside.” I laughed and said, “You’d be a fool to do that.” She said, “What makes you say that?” I said, “These bums are all junkies or scammers. They can get fed at literally dozens of shelters and food pantries at churches and shelters scattered all across the city.” She said, “You’re the most heartless person I have ever known.” I said, “OK, do whatever you like, but I’m warning you that if you buy that bum a sandwich you’ll be sorry that you did.” She bought two sandwiches, one for yourself and one for the bum. As she left the shop, she went up to the bum and handed him a sandwich. He took it and said, “What the fuck is this shit?” She said, “I bought you a sandwich.” He threw the sandwich on the ground, stomped on it, and said, “I don’t need no food bitch, I need money!” As we hurried away, the woman said, “Just don’t say anything. You were right and I don’t want to hear it.”

  • Travis Bickle
    March 19, 2021 at 9:35 am

    Another true story. One day a colleague from work and I were walking down Boylston Street in Boston during our lunch break when a black guy came up to us and said, “My car ran out of gas with my wife and kids in it. Can you give me five bucks so I can get back home to Mattapan?” I just kept on walking but my colleague stopped, reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet, and gave the guy a five dollar bill. He did this faster than I could react, and when he was finished, I said, “What the hell did you do that for?”. He said, “The problem with you is you have no compassion”. I said, “The problem with you is that you have no street smarts. Follow me”. I grabbed him by the arm, turned him around, and we followed close behind the guy that he had given the five bucks to. The guy ignored the next people who approached him, who all happened to be black too. However, he stopped the first white guy he came to. This time, he said, “Can you give me ten bucks. I’m stranded here in Boston and I’m short ten bucks for bus fare to get back home to New York City.” The white guy was in the process of reaching for his wallet when I put myself between them and said, “Don’t give that piece of shit anything. A few minutes ago he told us that his car broke down and he needed money to buy gas and this nitwit (I point to my colleague) gave him five bucks!” The white guy put his wallet back and the black guy backed away from us saying, “Yo-yo-yo, its cool, its cool”.

    • Deflateddoritodinks
      March 19, 2021 at 10:25 am

      That’s a mob scam. One time a fat guy in a windbreaker stood in front of my car in a drive thru line, and asked for $5 for gas. I floored it past him. Another time another guy in a windbreaker was at a gas station asking for $5 for gas. I asked him where his car was as every car there had someone pumping gas into it. He left.

      • DudeRanchStripClub (me/mine pronouns)
        March 19, 2021 at 11:56 am

        Fucking windbreakers are now a tell for panhandlers

    • Common Scam
      March 19, 2021 at 3:45 pm

      White trash ppl in Chicopee do this shit at the CVS’s & places like that. “I ran out of gas, do you have $5/$10/$20 I could use?

  • Fake Beggers
    March 19, 2021 at 9:01 am

    There is a guy , I call dancing queen, who drives to Belmont St. Worcester and asks for money. He is always clean cut, dances, smiles begging for money. Compared to the other gentlemen who sit there, zombified off drugs begging for money.

  • Bring Back Some Law and Order
    March 19, 2021 at 8:52 am

    Isn’t begging on the street a crime? It used to be in Ye Old New England Times anyway. Bring back all the good laws and we get a lot of this fixed. If you’re a crackhead negro yelling at people on the sidewalk? Thrown in the clink for disturbing the peace. Then work off the meals you consumed in there by painting a bridge of picking up litter. Drop litter on the sidewalk? Get a baton to the dome from some Irish flatfoot. You get the idea.
    The issue is that we’ve become a lawless society. Unless you’re a white man trying to pick up a chick at work you’re not going to get punished.

  • Travis Bickle
    March 19, 2021 at 6:45 am

    Here’s a true story. A few years ago there was a woman who begged every afternoon in front of Back Bay Station in Boston. I saw her there day-after-day-after day. She held a big cardboard sign with something like “spare change to feed a family of six” scrawled on it. One day I missed my train and had to wait an hour or so for the next one. Having nothing better to do, I stood near this woman and watched the commuters hand money to her. After a few minutes, she put the sign down and walked across the street to a convenience store. I followed her. She dumped a coffee cup full of change and bills on to the counter and said to the cashier, “Gimme some scratch tickets”. The clerk counted the money and gave her as many lottery tickets as the amount would allow, which was quite a bit. She scratched the tickets, throwing them on the floor as she did. One or two were winners, just a couple of bucks, and she presented each of these back to the clerk and said, “Gimme some more scratch tickets”. When she was done, she walked back across the street to Back Bay Station, picked her sign back up, and continued to beg. After she left, I said to the clerk, “What was that all about?” He said, “She comes in here all day buying scratch tickets”. I suspect that “spare change to feed a family of six” works better than “spare change to feed my gambling habit”. Just sayin’…

  • Battle of the Tormentors
    March 19, 2021 at 4:37 am

    So are we going to get an ST Blog trial run?

    • Alias
      March 19, 2021 at 6:56 pm

      We are. It’s under “True story Bickle”

  • Judge dread
    March 18, 2021 at 10:46 pm

    Atleast he is not as bad as the hog beast who passed out on Middlesex Turnpike/i95 on ramp with the dunks iced coffee in between her boobs in Burlington a few years ago. I used to work in the offices right next to the mall and I would see that bitch all the time. Then Uncle posted pictures of her nest in the woods near the Pheasant Lane Mall in the Shua with her like 5 year old Jeep SUV. Priceless. Good work Uncle.

  • Denny Dale
    March 18, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    No wonder you’re suicidal

    Picking on a guy who makes 50 bucks a day freezing his balls off on his feet all day

    Go find some sleazy n!ggers and spics on welfare
    That’s what is good reading

    • Diversity is Death
      March 19, 2021 at 10:27 am

      Why don’t you head out to Holyoke and give that guy a $50 then?

      Btw, I bet this guy makes hundreds of dollars doing this.

  • Journalist?
    March 18, 2021 at 10:08 pm

    Exhibit 1 of why Simp is a glorified blogger, not even a good one too. Next up is a glory hole.

  • Observer X
    Want to make the beggar scared?
    March 18, 2021 at 8:14 pm

    Take him up on his offer to “work for food.” Tell him that you have a bathroom at home that needs painting. He’ll be sprinting back to that Hyundai post-haste!

  • Rte2tentrezident
    March 18, 2021 at 7:45 pm

    Hyundai Tiburon? Are we sure he’s not borrowing his 18 year-old daughter’s car?

  • whatevuh
    March 18, 2021 at 7:33 pm

    You might think he could get a better piece of cardboard to make a sign, c’mon man, put some fucking effort into this !

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    March 18, 2021 at 7:24 pm

    He looks like everyone in front of St. Vs picketing, except his sign has a different message.

  • capone181
    Barney Frank
    March 18, 2021 at 7:22 pm

    A guys got to do something between stimulus checks.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    March 18, 2021 at 5:34 pm

    This is considered to be a descent job and part of the “new normal” in Joe Biden’s America.

  • Pizza T. Hut
    March 18, 2021 at 4:40 pm

    That fat slob doesn’t appear to be skipping any meals.

  • Begging for solutions
    March 18, 2021 at 4:33 pm

    Solution to this is to let them beg all they want but have an officer posted nearby. Anytime someone hands them cash, pull the car over. Then let the driver know if the beggar they just gave money to, dies of an overdose in the next 24 hours, they (the driver) will be brought up on charges for contributing to the beggars death. People will stop giving money, beggars will go elsewhere to beg.

    • Muppet
      March 18, 2021 at 6:08 pm

      That’s plausible

  • Emfnt
    March 18, 2021 at 4:08 pm

    Street corner making $1.50/hour is a good place for him.

    Is he more useful or less useful than a nurse who walks out their patients? He’s better than a nurse or limp dick teamster.

  • Death
    March 18, 2021 at 4:03 pm

    I see no problem with what he is doing. If people want to hand over their cash, then so be it. At least hes white. Do you know how hard it is for a white guy to get ahead in todays world? He probably had to give up his job to a black man.

  • Boston Irish
    Boston Irish
    March 18, 2021 at 4:02 pm

    At Mass & Cass methadone mile. Saw 6 slugs begging for money this am

    • Marty Walsh's Pinky Ring
      March 19, 2021 at 8:50 am

      No shit. I was just there (Mass and Cass) for some business for the first time ever yesterday and it’s like a scene right out of the Walking Dead. Meth Mile is real. Homeless junkies wandering around in traffic, homeless encampments right on the sidewalks. The only good thing was that there seemed to be a strong police presence.

  • anon
    March 18, 2021 at 3:50 pm

    How do i give this guys info to TB?

    • Not Anon
      March 19, 2021 at 9:17 pm

      I believe it involves fellating UncleTurtleBoy.
      Not recommended. He eats a lot of asparagus.

  • Dr Wu
    Dr Wu
    March 18, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    The most incredible part is that he has to take about 25 steps from where he parks to his homeless post intersection. Most of these fuckwads at least park a good distance so it’s difficult to follow them back to their car.

  • hartf811
    Beverly Farms
    March 18, 2021 at 2:51 pm

    Bidens locusts are all coming out of the ground to grift their way through life.

  • Bail Fund
    March 18, 2021 at 2:37 pm

    I hope karma comes back at those fuckers in a big way. The Massachusetts Bail Fund has paid $100,000 to free a woman who is facing criminal charges for allegedly dumping her newborn baby in a trash can in Boston last month.

    • Deflateddoritodinks
      March 18, 2021 at 9:26 pm

      Judges have to start setting million dollar bails obviously. Hopefully they can bankrupt the bail fund.

  • Stu
    March 18, 2021 at 2:29 pm

    To anybody gullible enough to give beggars money in this state: Stop it, for the love of God. You are being scammed by some fat degenerate fuck like this whose biggest problems in life are finding pants that fit and deciding which scratch ticket he’s buying with all of the money suckers like you handed him. If you still have a burning desire to be charitable or show the world how virtuous you are, give to St. Jude or Dana Farber – you know, sick children who actually need help?

    • FedUp
      March 19, 2021 at 9:03 am

      You beat me to it….the people giving these parasites money are complicit. No audience, no show. STOP FEEDING THE GODDAMNED ANIMALS!

  • Larry
    March 18, 2021 at 2:15 pm

    Hopefully he gets hit by a bus at that intersection.

  • Uh Oh
    March 18, 2021 at 2:06 pm

    Even worse he’s talking about starting a blog, pretending to be a “journalist” and begging for donations.

    • Rut Row
      March 18, 2021 at 2:39 pm

      So that dickbags like you can go and give us your free opinions. Just find a traffic island a a piece of cardboard and register your opinions there.

  • People
    March 18, 2021 at 1:53 pm

    Reminds me of the year-round 8-months pregnant chick that used to be under the bridge near the greendale mall. People were always blowing up her spot by giving her bags of groceries which she was too lazy to carry back to her car. Sometimes the groceries were still there after she left.

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It