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Where do you go to buy booze in the Woo? Mass Liquors and State are Turtleboy’s two most common spots. But there’s a lot of packies in Worcester that you might not be as familiar with, unless you’re looking for some cold malt liquor to soothe what ails you. After all, Tracy Novick’s finest have to go somewhere to get their fill, and on that note we’ve decided to compile the official list of Turtleboy’s Top 11 Ghettoest Liquor Stores In Worcester.
Located on Ward Street in the lovely Vernon Hill neighborhood, in a part of the city where you’d only end up if you got lost, Harrahy’s has some major qualifications of a ghetto liquor store – 1) money orders, 2) a working pay phone, and 3) can redemption.
10. Grafton Hill Package Store
Grafton Hill’s finest have to booze somewhere, and if they get priced out of Olympic Liquors or Plaza Liquors, there’s always Grafton Hill Package Store. With a name like that, you’re only going to attract he finest Worcester has to offer. It’s a great place to stock up before you next big Grafton Hill rap video!!!
9. All-Star Liquors
A lot of All-Stars at this fine establishment on Lincoln Street. Who needs windows when you can just board up the windows with plywood instead?
8. Belmont Liquors
Whether it’s blunt raps or Colt 45’s, there is a never ending supply of ghetto-fabulous vices available for rock bottom prices at Belmont Street Liquors. While you’re there take a slum sociable through Eastern Ave or Elizabeth Street and breathe in some of the beautiful culture that Worcester has to offer.
7. McGovern’s Package Store
After a long day of panhandling at the Kelley Square 290 exit, Worcester’s titans of derelict deserve to treat themselves to a night cap. Or stop by in the morning, buy a liter of Poland Sering vodka, pound it, and go pleasure yourself under the Green Street tunnel instead. Whenever you decide to get blackout drunk, this is the place you want to stop first, located in the heart of gorgeous Green Island.
6. Valley Liquors
You know you only attract the finest clientele when you have a giant Hennessey poster next to two bottle return machines and a barbed wire fence. Great Brook Valley has to get drunk somewhere and this is usually where they turn to.
5. El Coqui
Back in the 90’s all you had to do was toss on a shirt and tie, walk into this place like you owned the joint, and buy yourself a nice frosty 30 pack of Natural Ice. I’m not sure if that’s still the case because I haven’t been here since turning 21. Located on Chandler Street, this is a great place to grab yourself some Olde English 800 in a brown paper bag and just see where the day takes you. Most likely it will bring you right back to El Coqui.
Back in the 90’s this was the ultimate “hey mister” liquor store. And if you don’t know what a “hey mister” is, then you probably weren’t very much fun to hang out with in high school. The Canterbury Street area has a never ending supply of stumbling drunks who will buy you and all your friends all the booze you want, so long as they can keep the change.
3. Main South Liquors
Unless you were looking for some cold Mad Dog 20/20 on a hot summer day, you’ve probably never stepped foot in this place. Located in the cultural district known as Main South, this place is everything you dreamed it would be and more!! After grabbing your medicine, feel free to walk around and explore historic Beacon Street and upper Main Street. It’s only a matter of time until your kid’s stolen bike blows by you with newly installed pegs on it!!
You know you’re in a great neighborhood when the sign outside the store says “CHECK CASHING” on it. Seriously, the Pennywise has pretty much everything you can ask for in a ghetto liquor store – a laundromat, can redemption center, guys sleeping outside next to their shopping cars, money orders, and a place where you can pay your electric bill. Just don’t start trashing the place and attacking the cops when they come, because they will taze the shit out of you, and rightfully so.
Obviously. What’s not to love? It’s got a functional payphone, check cashing, blunts, 40’s, Keno, Cisco, E&J, Hennessy, or whatever you could possibly need to start your ghetto fabulous day of walking around and not giving a fuck about anything!! If a car crashes into this place they WILL open the next day. That’s how dedicated they are to making sure you can get fucked up on a Tuesday afternoon.
What did we miss?
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