Hoodrat Heroes

Two Wildeyeast Infections Fight At Busy Meth Mile Intersection For Mating Rights With Jimmy Junkbox And Access To Bigger Half Of The Crack Rock


It was hot as balls out the last couple days, so tensions were brewing on Meth Mile where two wildeyeast Infections were caught on camera engaging in junkie combat over who deserved the bigger half of the crack rock for licking Diego the heroin dealer’s balls.

It starts off with Zanny Bar Zelda giving Mushroom Tip Mandy a right hook to the grill.

Solid contact, but this wasn’t Mushroom Tip Mandy’s first crack fight on meth mile, and she bounced back with the ceremonial hair pull.

This of course led to the annual mating ritual to see who would have first rights to contract Hep-C from Jimmy Junkbox, who of course stood by and did nothing to stop them.

Looks familiar.

Seeing as this was meth mile, no one seemed to think this was out of the ordinary, especially Jimmy Junkbox, and traffic continued to go around them as this is likely an hourly occurrence at the intersection of Southampton St and Mass Ave.

I wanna start my own urban safari business and just drive people through meth mile during daylight hours so my customers can enjoy watching these wildeyeast infections in their natural environment.

If the city is gonna encourage this by handing out needles and hosting supervised injection sites, they might as well capitalize on it for the tourist industry.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


34 Comment(s)
  • Mass Ave & Tremont by way of Wartown
    July 24, 2019 at 12:52 am

    Turts, you sound like some out of state IDIOT. It is not “Meth Mile” — no one does meth in Boston. Not even here. I know it’s hard to believe. But I live in the South End and please, just stop.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      July 25, 2019 at 7:52 pm

      first… meth mile is short for methadone you out of town carpetbagger and they are 100% doing meth(aka ice) down there now… go back to your starbucks venti latte and fuck off

  • Silencio Dogood
    July 23, 2019 at 3:12 am

    a webcam would be nice.

  • Unfortunate Mass Ave driver
    July 22, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    Repeat after me:

    Methadone Mile

    Methadone Mile

    Methadone Mile

    Methadone Mile

    Its not that difficult to add “adone” after meth. Nobody ever calls it Meth Mile.

    I think one if not all tb bloggers need to do a bone cruise down methadone mile and take a slow ride down atkinson st. Report from the field and keep your doors locked.

    • Open Your Eyes
      July 22, 2019 at 11:44 pm

      No one does meth at meth mile. Ok I buy that one not.
      Everyone showers and smells good to and there is no crime.
      The favorite color is marooooon

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      July 25, 2019 at 7:55 pm

      crystal meth is 100% being used down there now…..repeat this sentence 10x slowly because it’s a fucking fact

  • george costanza
    The angry taint
    July 22, 2019 at 9:55 pm

    this shit is all day, every day who wants to get in on a popcorn stand ? we could be millionaires!

    • Some See Oppurtunity Where Others Do Not
      July 22, 2019 at 11:47 pm

      No thsnks. I will let you do all the work and then rob the meth head after he beats and robs you.

      • george costanza
        The angry taint
        July 25, 2019 at 7:58 pm

        maybe they will get me in a rush but not before i turn your head and a couple dozen more into canoes

  • Census Survey
    July 22, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    All Democrats

  • Alyssa Lungarini
    July 22, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    Hot as balls! Haahaaaa! I love that saying!! Always a kick out the names! I have a megaphone for a ride along!!!

  • Light em up
    July 22, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    So wait, those wildeyeast infections were in the crosswalk so they have the right of way. That couple of cars should get tickets for not stopping for pedestrians in the crosswalk.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 22, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    ‘Wildeyeast Infections’

    These funny nicknames continue to improve

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 22, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    I love a good catfight. I woulda been handing em knives, bats….

    • Judge dread
      July 22, 2019 at 9:37 pm

      Linked chains

  • whatevuh
    July 22, 2019 at 6:23 pm

    Can’t we get a similar meth mile area in Worcester? I think it would fit right in around Kelly Square and the “renaissance” How about Millbury Street?

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    July 22, 2019 at 6:19 pm


    M.G.L. Should be Amended such that killing one of these cretins holds less gravity than a normal person. Perhaps make it a misdemeanor.

    Not sure how to codify it. Maybe an exemption clause based on employment, address, arrest record and drug habits.

  • Wormtown Hoodrat
    July 22, 2019 at 4:32 pm

    Love the last pic. Lazy ass non working black dude just looking out the car window at the fupafight. No work today I guess.

  • Christopher Lettiere
    July 22, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    Meth Mile, Planes, it doesn’t matter…there’s no decorum:

    • Judge dread
      July 23, 2019 at 8:30 am

      This is why I don’t take value planes. Delta all the way.

  • Torah! Torah! Torah!
    July 22, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    The heat had the street apes looking for a bridge to cool off under. Tempers flare when the combo of heat and crack cook the rest of the brain cells

  • randiguy2006
    Once again....
    July 22, 2019 at 3:39 pm


  • Ansel Adams
    July 22, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    Who’s the fucking retard filming this? How fucking hard is it to hold your obama phone straight. Whoever filmed this should get aids.

  • z
    July 22, 2019 at 3:15 pm

    Explain to me why Jimmy Junkbox needs to separate the 2?

    It’s not going to be appreciated. In fact those 2 could turn on him as he stopped them from deciding who had dominance.

    They could have tag teamed him out of the picture and then went back to their feud.

  • bigdaddy
    July 22, 2019 at 3:15 pm

    urban safari business and just drive people through meth mile during daylight hours Just make sure you keep your windows rolled and please done feed the animals

    • bigdaddy
      July 22, 2019 at 3:15 pm

      Dont feed the animals

    • Dawn Breaks On Marble Head
      July 22, 2019 at 3:21 pm

      Your taxes already feed and cloth them.

      • bigdaddy
        July 22, 2019 at 3:35 pm

        and my taxes also pay for the crack Thanks for reminding me of that while I am at work

        • 4 Jobs For Kamela
          July 22, 2019 at 4:03 pm

          You will need a third job and 2nd mortgage if chief warren gets elected.

  • hartf811
    July 22, 2019 at 2:59 pm

    Portable houseplants. Please Mr. President. Cook up a hot batch and put these human sand fleas out of their (and our) misery.

  • Judge dread
    July 22, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    After the initial contact it looked like one or both of them are going into a seizure.

    I like how the dude in the Escalade rolled down his window and watched the shit.

    Every so often I’ll drive on the mile 4 out of 5 times it’s empty they are either at the homeless shelter or whatever by BMC. 1/5 of them time it will be epic. If I were to continue down mellana crass into Mattapan it looks like I’m in Somalia.

  • mr butch
    July 22, 2019 at 2:47 pm

    • Karma Bus
      Ratchesourous Rex
      July 24, 2019 at 2:57 pm

      That is so awful. If the drugs don’t kill him, a car will. There’s detox services and help just feet away from him too.

  • My Name Is Marty And I Am An Alcoholic
    July 22, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    I want this area dedicated as an historical landmark and left untouched.

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It