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I remember when Water Street was a place in Worcester that was an up-and-coming hot spot for young professionals looking to have a couple drinks with friends. Now it’s a staging ground for World Star Hip Hop tryout videos. Such was the case on Friday night when these two alley cats literally engaged in a cat fight in an alley to decide who was the Ratchet Queen of the Canal District on this particular weekend:
Time for the play by play. First of all, you’re not allowed to have a ratchet chick fight on Water Street until someone yells “World Star.” Once the wigtacular guy with the UMass pom-pom hat and the hoodrat chain yelled these magical words, the donnybrook was officially set to commence.
Can’t say I’ve ever seen a hoodrat fight where the Dad and another gravy dumpster act as the promoters, negotiating the terms of the rowdydown:
While they were negotiating, the swine parade decided that the mediation was going nowhere and it was time to get this party started. The brunette struck first, scoring a solid uppercut to the blonde that knocked her head back into Harding Street.
However, the thing with chick fights is the better fighter hardly ever wins because of a factor that generally doesn’t affect dude fights – hair pulling. And the blonde, who realized she was losing, played the only card she could at that point, despite the best efforts of her coach to prevent her from doing so.
Once you’ve got another ratchet by the hair it’s basically game over. And this Crystal Palace alumni was not letting go as she used it to her advantage by dragging her opponent to the pavement.
Once she had achieved this end it was back to the pummeling.
Shortly afterwards the coaches on both sides called off the fight. After that it was time for the post-fight interview with the new (disputed) Canal District ratchet queen of the week champion. Although that mainly just involved her yelling racial slurs at the guy interviewing her with an iPhone, which of course he was holding sideways. Can’t say I’ve ever heard a Water Street World Star champion utter the words “I rocked your daughter’s shit. Gang shit my n word,” before, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Finally it was time for the ceremonial roar of the hoodrat.
Another successful weekend for some of Worcester’s finest!
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