Uncle Turtleboy - Man Of The People

Uncle Turtleboy Man Of The People – How Many Supreme Court Justices Can Clark Students And Main South’s Finest Name, And Do They Think Kavanaugh Should Get In?

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The Judge Kavanaugh saga lingers on, and things aren’t looking good for the democrats. The FBI investigation is pretty much done, and just like everyone predicted, they got nothing. Oh wait, actually it turns out Kavanaugh once threw ice on a guy at a bar. BOMBSHELL!!! Meanwhile we exposed Christine Blasey-Ford the other day for lying about why she had a second front door put on her house. It had nothing to do with anxiety and everything to do with her rental property. Since then Real Clear Politics, the Daily Wire, Fox News, and every other media outlet whose narrative isn’t interrupted by these facts has picked up on the story. Did any of them cite us? Of course not. But we’re used to that by now.

Dr. Ford also may have committed perjury when she said she’d never coached anyone on how to pass a polygraph, because a sworn ex-boyfriend witness says she did. Literally the only reason you’d believe her at this point is because you hate prep school bros, and you think blindly believing all women makes you virtuous.

Check out this page for running odds on Kavanaugh getting confirmed. It was at 50/50 not too long ago. Today it’s at this:

Anyway, does anyone really care once he gets on? Will you even notice? Do the people who are so outraged about this regularly follow Supreme Court rulings? Because I don’t. Better question – do they even know who’s on the Supreme Court? For the answer to this question Uncle Turtleboy took it to the streets today to interview a bunch of people to ask them what their thoughts were on Kavanaugh (yes or no, and why?) and how many SCOTUS justices they could name. He does the legwork, we blog it up. He figured the best place to go to find the wokest people in Worcester was Clark University. Luckily Clark is also right in the heart of Main South, so Uncle Turtleboy figured he’d speak to some locals as well, to hear what they thought of it all. Let’s check it out and see who got the most right…..

Slippery Jim

The interview started off strong:

UT: “What did you guys think of Judge Kavanaugh?”

 “Jim.”

Priceless.

UT: “What did you guys think of Judge Kavanaugh?”

“Not guilty. All of a sudden she smells money, and she’s trying to ruin his career.”

UT: You think so? 

“I know so!”

UT: “How many Supreme Court justices can you name?”

“Right now? Not too many right now because they’re not in the news.”

UT: “Howie Carr is one. Judge Carr. Turtle Master is another.”

“Oh yea, yea.”

Justices named correct answers – 0. 

 

Woke Walter

Woke Walter believes Christine Blasey-Ford, admits he doesn’t know anything about the other two accusers, but believes them anyway because Kavanaugh is a rapist. Makes sense.

Supreme Court Justices named – 2 (Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch)

Come on bro – you can’t be woke and only name conservative justices!!

 

Sober Sally

She’s a hard no on Kavanaugh because he was too aggressive while defending himself from allegations that he’s a gang rapist. She also doesn’t believe that he hasn’t passed out from getting drunk before. Because these are the types of questions we really need the answers to. Thank God for Sheldon Squarepants!!

Justices named – 2 (Ruth Bater Ginsburg, Neil Gorsuch)

 

Fair Freddie

I like this guy the most:

“We just have to wait until there’s hard evidence.”

Yup, we’re still waiting. Poor guy was ever so reluctant to say,

“if she ain’t got shit, you must acquit.”

He knows where he goes to school. He knows how much he’d be crucified if he had the audacity to suggest that people are innocent until proven guilty in this country.

Justices named – 2 (John Roberts, Clarence Thomas)

 

Ramblin’ Ronnie

“It’s a really complicated issue. I think that, I can’t say that he should be on or not, we should have an investigation into the claims and get the facts behind the issues and let congress and let the courts decide the right way to step forward.”

What if it’s a he said, she said?

“Umm….you have to look at the evidence. That’s not how people get to the Supreme Court. If there is hard evidence to back up Dr. Ford’s claims then for sure we don’t want someone on the Supreme Court like that. I would like to have his background looked at and investigated.”

The fact that it’s kind of a fringe opinion to suggest that you look at actual evidence before reaching a conclusion is everything that is wrong with campus culture today.

Justices named – 4 (Neil Gorsuch, Clarence Thomas, Ruth Bater Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomoyor)

 

Deep Thinkin Donnie

I’m not gonna lie, I have absolutely no clue what this gentlemen was talking about.

“Do I think he did it? That’s up to the courts to decide. But me personally, of course I think he did it.”

Why?

“Because as a man myself there’s certain actions and a certain energy with how you carry allegations like that. Instead of showing any type of remorse for any women in that situation he continued to carry more of a sentiment that uh, you know, this is heinous, this is something he would never do.”

Uhhhhh…..

“If you have more than one person you have to kind of be sensitive to what’s going on, even if you believe you didn’t do it. If you have a populist people who believe you’re doing something, even if you are wrong, or even if you believe you didn’t do, you should still try your best to not make yourself the victim in a situation.”

OK then.

Justices named – 0.5 (Sonia)

 

Hell Nah Heather

“If I was going to be totally objective, whether or not he did what is being accused of him, I think what’s going on right now is a circus, showing we don’t really care about women and survivors.”

She’s got a point there. I really don’t think Dianne Feinstein, Sheldon Squarepants, Mr. Potato Head Booker, or any of the other frauds grilling Judge Kavanaugh actually give a shit about Christine Ford or rape victims in general. I think they’re all full of shit, and they’re just doing this to fuck over Trump as some sort of twisted revenge for Merrick Garland. So she’s got a good point there, even if that’s not the point she was trying to make.

“If it were true (that Kavanaugh is being falsely accused), yes that would be a shame. But false accusations aren’t common at all. What does Dr. Ford have to gain? She’s in hiding. She’s lost so much by doing this.”

Yea, just a couple million dollars, a sweet book deal, lifelong canonization by the left, and keeping a Trump nominee off the Supreme Court. Besides that she had nothing to gain.

Justices named – 3 (Neil Gorsuch, Ruth Bater Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomoyor)

 

Pink Pants Peter

“Brett Kavanaugh is a representation of an administration that I don’t think is a representation of our country.”

So anyone Trump nominated you would say no?

“Probably, but not because they were nominated by Trump.”

What if he nominated a liberal, would you support him then?

“Then I would probably support them. I only wouldn’t if they support Donald Trump.”

How could a serial rapist get away with it that long?

“Bill Cosby.”

Why do you believe he did it?

“I do believe he did it because of the number of people who came forward.”

So volume does matter after all.

Then there was this:

“I don’t agree with the fact that he’s assumed guilty, but I do believe he is guilty, because I believed her.”

Wait…..what? You don’t think we should assume that he’s guilty, but you assume that he’s guilty because she says he’s guilty. Makes sense.

Justices named – 3 (Ruth Bater Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomoyor, Clarence Thomas)

 

At the end of the day Uncle Turtleboy interviewed 8 people. Five of them firmly believe Kavanaugh is guilty, two of them want to wait until more facts come out, and one of them has gone full free muh boi.

Here’s the grand tally for how many times out of 8 each of the 8 SCOTUS justices were named:

Ginsburg – 4

Thomas – 4

Gorsuch – 4

Sotomoyor – 4

Roberts – 1

Kagan – 0

Breyer – 0

Alito – 0

How was there no love for Elena Kagan, but so much love for Sotomoyor? Is Kagan too much of a basic Becky? I figured RBG would be the one everyone at knows, but the amount of liberal Clark kids who knew arguably the two most conservative justices on the court was impressive. I guess the point here is simple – when Kavanaugh gets on, none of this will matter. Because no one will actually pay attention to the Supreme Court anyway.

15 Comment(s)
  • Kim Un Jong
    October 5, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    Never saw anything like this before Moore, Thomas, Bork

  • Walter " Long Dong Silver " Bird
    October 4, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    Tussel haired terror boy wannabe Woke Walter definitely has a career ahead of himself as a barista / busboy at Mocha Java.

  • MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
    October 4, 2018 at 7:18 pm

    Come on, TB. Here’s how this should have gone.

    Libtard: I’m a liberal and…
    TB: *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop*
    Bystander 1: Oh my god you blew his head off!
    TB: FEAR THE TURTLE YOU FUCKING FAGGOT WHITE POWERRRR!!!!!!!

  • Walter Bird
    October 4, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    Sally, call me. I have a job for you planting tulips. Or is it two lips. Whatever. Just call me

  • Scott
    October 4, 2018 at 11:59 am

    Paul Sperry reported the second front door scam before you guys. Don’t take unearned credit!

  • bigdaddy
    October 4, 2018 at 11:51 am

    Sadly those kids can name more Kardashians than supreme court justices

  • The Grim Reaper
    October 4, 2018 at 9:39 am

    Like I always say, we need a good ol’ fashion bang ’em up war to cull the herd.

  • Ted Baxter
    October 4, 2018 at 7:22 am

    That is our future. We might as well hope North Korea hits us soon because we are fucked.

    Maybe instead of these on the spot interviews Turtleboy can inerview these kids to see of they can get this website to work. You begin reading and 30 seconds into it a pop up opens and after closing it you go back to the top of the article. You enter comments and you get bumped to the next story. Hire someone to help you!

  • Uncle Randy
    October 4, 2018 at 7:13 am

    I’m impressed that everyone on the left always has the exact same opinion on everything as everyone else on the left.

    Very well coordinated outrage.

    • Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
      October 4, 2018 at 8:10 pm

      That’s why they are referred to as useful idiots, sheep, lemmings, or drones. No independent thought, just parroting the Left’s propaganda.

  • Chim Richels
    October 4, 2018 at 6:38 am

    How about the tits on Sober Sally????????

    • Broad Evaluator
      October 4, 2018 at 9:42 am

      Those fleshy footballs are impressive, but methinks their impressiveness is somewhat enhanced by being on a body with the shape of a beer keg.

      • dave
        October 4, 2018 at 11:28 am

        more like a bag of potatoes….

    • Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
      October 4, 2018 at 8:07 pm

      Fat chick tits don’t count.

  • Worth the Watch
    October 4, 2018 at 5:44 am

    Love the ignorant person on the street interviews. Listen to these Obama voters, MTV is their news provider, 7th grade is their functional education with apologies to 7th graders. Keep in mind these are the people out breeding responsible people 3:1 if not 5:0. The future doesn’t look good.

    Ps. TB needs to be careful somebody doesn’t recognize them from this blog…. nah they don’t read.

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