Uncle Turtleboy - Man Of The People

I Went To Turtlegram & Gazette HQ Today To Confront Clive McFarlane Over Anti-Turtleboy Hit Piece, No One Knew Who He Was Including The Receptionist


Since Clive McFarlane will not return my phone calls or emails, and felt the need to write a fake news hit piece alleging that Turtleboy Sports promotes pornography, I decided to go and confront him at Turtlegram and Gazette headquarters today. So I livestreamed myself trying to find Clive, but had no luck because he’s a gutless coward who won’t debate me. I did however interview a number of people about Clive, and none of them even knew who he was, including the receptionist who works for the Turtlegram.

The best part about that video is the receptionist trying to do damage CONTROL with a customer who never received their paper. What an absolute abomination the Turtlegram is. Shame on anyone who is still dumb enough to pay for that crap.



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71 Comment(s)
  • WeRFucked
    April 11, 2019 at 8:55 am

    Who da fuq is Clive?

  • Mediocrity
    April 10, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    Yeh — looks like McFarty pants is massively spamming this page. Has the intelligence of a peeled grape.

    I find it hilarious that nobody knows him or where to find him at his place of employment. He’s THAT insignificant and nobody gives a sh!t. Ba ha ha!

  • ElJefe72
    April 10, 2019 at 11:18 am

    LOL. I see that Clive (and possibly his homies) has plenty of time on his hands to post comments under various pseudonyms. All of the most recent comments criticize UTB, but they all have the same theme to them. Not very creative or even original.

  • Fear the Turtle!
    April 10, 2019 at 10:38 am

    Thank you UTB for continuing to attack freedom of the press, free speech, and the first amendment. FEAR THE TURTLE!

  • Former Mayor Little Timmy Pajama Boy Leadfoot
    April 10, 2019 at 8:38 am

    That’s sure a hard 37 years there partner. Sheesh! Yeah typical Worcester with the huge brand new interior with designer chairs and tables completely devoid of humans actually sitting in them. I’m sure outside there’s ripped up sidewalks roped off with crime scene tape and rusting construction equipment and, yes, again spaces devoid of humans except junkies.

    • I can't spell
      April 10, 2019 at 9:01 am

      Fun fact: Put his real name in the comment and the comment goes to the bin.
      I’ve seen this happen with my posts multiple times.
      If you misspell his name it will go through.

      And for what it’s worth, does Ailing (see what I did there?) chain smoke Newport Lights? Nobody looks that haggard after 37 years of suburbia unless there has been chemical abuse of whatever type.

  • Abe Simpson
    April 9, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    Riveting journalism of you sounding like a fucking nut job….. I guess when your mother pays all of your bills you have time for these idiotic shenanigans.

  • Sad to watch
    April 9, 2019 at 7:59 pm

    This is what watching someone become totally unhinged looks like. TB walks into the registry of deeds, UMASS physician services, the Mercantile Center office and everywhere BUT where he was instructed to go, to find this guy. All while huffing, puffing and gasping for breath.

    I guess this is what happens when his mom is called out for being a religious loon with no handle on municipal law. Like mother like son– on the loon part anyway. I wonder how many of those people would have known who turtleboy is? Oh right, none…

  • Turtle Rider
    April 9, 2019 at 7:57 pm

    Please tell me you brought your AR-15.

    • Damn, I can't spell
      April 10, 2019 at 10:25 am

      Ailing Kernel was looking for the hidden basement door so that he could free all of the children.

  • Harry Richard
    April 9, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    The black guy would fuck up that goofy ass white dude.

  • Mike
    April 9, 2019 at 6:23 pm

    Love the blog, but damn man! You have a face perfectly suited for radio. Are you really only 37?

    This was dumb. A video of you walking about with your camera phone recording like a mad man was a bad idea. I can hear your heavy breathing the entire time. Not your best moment.

    • I still can't spell
      April 10, 2019 at 10:29 am

      “heavy breathing ”
      Hah! Them Newport Lights don’t just make him look sexy, they make him sound sexy.
      Pasty white boy. Go get some sun. You look like Gollum’s illegitimate sister.

  • Y
    April 9, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    Hey bud obsessing over popular people in the media spotlight is nothing new. I was a Dave Letterman fan but I never stormed his office looking for a face to face.
    Lucky for you this isn’t a video about your erratic behavior.

  • the navigator
    April 9, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    when the lady said bottom of the stairs, go straight then left (12:05), you went left at the bottom of the stairs, at the 8:00 mark you can see the direction you should have gone.

  • Y
    April 9, 2019 at 4:41 pm

    Clive is totally dodging you UTB.
    Hey, where did you buy those wicked cool smurf blue sneakers cuz I want a pair. Did you buy them at a special store in P-town?

  • Get the Fuck Over Yourself!!
    April 9, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    “they’re scared of the turtle” (after finding a locked door)!
    It’s probably standard procedure to have locked doors, shithead! To prevent assholes like yourself from barging in (and potentially starting to shoot!)
    did you JUST become a member of society today?

    • Quincy Ya Dude
      April 9, 2019 at 4:48 pm


      Sounds like you could use a bourbon and some vicodin. Why the angry invective? Could you be anymore projectively unhinged? How many more exclamation points can you fit in one post guy? Get home safe brother and take a nice warm bath. Make sure the wife and kids know where the lawful weapons are in the house and be sure to move them without you knowing.

    • Laquisha
      April 9, 2019 at 5:02 pm

      Great point.
      The receptionist is like “um do you have an appointment?”.
      Tb “”No I have a scoop!”.
      Meanwhile he’s wearing an orange hoodie and bright blue sneakers that screams he’s a deranged suicide bomber?? WTF

      • Hipsterbeard Beta-Cuckstein
        April 9, 2019 at 5:12 pm

        Let’s not ignore the fact that he’s white. There was 99% chance he was going to do something that involved a bomb, a gun, or racism. Add a hoodie and it’s case closed.

  • Laquisha
    April 9, 2019 at 4:31 pm

    Wow sweet video, it’s funny how at first the receptionist just ignores you.
    You’re lucky she didn’t call security and be all like “yeah security it’s me at the T&G desk I’ve got another angry little bald white guy looking for Clive….”.

    • Bon Qui Qui
      April 9, 2019 at 4:35 pm

      I will cut you. Security!

      • Anthony Grossi
        April 9, 2019 at 5:58 pm


  • Portrait vs. Landscape
    April 9, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    Shooting portrait mode!

    What a fuckin’ maroon!

    Pisses and moans about other people shooting portrait mode, so what does wrinkled, scrotum head do? Shoots portrait mode!

    Nice move Ace!

  • capone181
    Total Mahem
    April 9, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    Turtleboy just took down Clive ” like a gazelle on the Serengeti”.

    We all know the T&G isn’t the most prestigious hub of intellectual activity in America.

    Clive’s America: Land of The Banned And Home Of The Thought Slaves.

  • Curious George
    April 9, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Has anyone ever confronted you in person about an article you’ve written? How do you think you would react?

    • ElJefe72
      April 9, 2019 at 4:43 pm

      I’m guessing who really don’t read this blog. He’s been in court several times and has documented it on this website. So yeah, he’s been confronted about it.

      • ElJefe72
        April 9, 2019 at 4:44 pm

        *you don’t really read this blog

      • Curious George
        April 9, 2019 at 10:27 pm

        Woah Man! I read this blog religiously. I was asking in the same manner and interviewer would ask? Not in a rhetorical, facetious manner. I’m interested to see how Uncle TB would handle, or how he believes he would handle, being face to face with Juicin Jeremy. What if Juicin Jeremy walked up to him with a camera phone and called him out for the articles? I’m wondering what Uncle TB believes he would do.
        Run? Call the police? Both? Talk it out? Apologize? Attack?
        Just wondering what would be the reaction if outside a court of law, in an everyday situation, he was confronted by someone he blogged about or one of the bloggers blogged about. I’m wondering what he thinks he would do is all. I don’t understand the dislikes or the reply comment to be honest.

  • Quality Goods
    April 9, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Yo man why weren’t you wearing a ratchet madness T-shirt and a bright red make the internet great again baseball cap?
    If they saw you wearing that high class bling you would have been given more respect!

    • Just Me
      April 9, 2019 at 5:58 pm

      Me, I was expecting Uncle Turtleboy to show up wearing a Chicago Bulls flat brimmed made in China out of something that looks like Styrofoam and smells like a one of his favorite overused pussies on crack out of Lowell.
      But that’s just me. You may have had other ideas.

  • Klancy
    April 9, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    Sounds like Clive is bored or he’s sent his Russian bots to respond to your article. The fact that ANY rag would publish his shit amazes me, but then I live on the coast and have only encountered Woo once when I had a flat tire. It was too scary and I’ll never go back.
    Check those IPs.

  • WardenToBe
    April 9, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    UncleTB looks good in an orange jumpsuit. (3:45) I’m betting it has drop drawers in the back.
    And why didn’t UTB reveal exactly who he was to the receptionist?

  • Deceptive Clive
    April 9, 2019 at 3:07 pm

  • Mom’s Basement
    April 9, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    Clive could be on to something. Every time I read Turtleboy Sports the next website that I go to after is almost always porn.

  • Travis Rearick
    Brandi Love
    April 9, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    So what if he claims you promote pornography, whether they admit it or not everybody loves a lonely step-mom taking her son’s load while dad is out on business!

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    April 9, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    Should have asked for Kunta Kinte.

    • Well, No Shit
      April 9, 2019 at 3:47 pm

      Or, Kunta Kinte’s prostitute sister, Renta Cunta.

      I’ll see myself out.

  • Nadia Yenraek
    Nadia Yenraek
    April 9, 2019 at 2:07 pm

    Want some cheese to go with that whine?

    I’m sure he tells the receptionist to disavow any knowledge of him. He won’t answer your emails. Take the hint: He’s not interested in talking to you, and he’s under no obligation to do so.

    Here’s a newsflash. If you come knocking on my door, I’m not talking to you either.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Tired of Don't Snitch Millennial Pussies
      April 9, 2019 at 7:06 pm

      Yeah – cowards are like that. You and Clive and Randall hide behind your keyboards like the pussies you are, inciting the mob to do your dirty work – just like the rest of your lefty fascist brethren.

      • randiguy2006
        Randall Guy
        April 10, 2019 at 9:54 am

        Ill meet you any time anywhere bro.

        • Ace
          April 10, 2019 at 12:28 pm

          Randal is Nadia. Nadia is Randal, Nadia is a man. Oh my God, Nadia is a man!

    • WeRFucked
      April 11, 2019 at 9:08 am

      Of course you aren’t going to debate UTB Nadia. You know he’s right, and you’re wrong.

      Clive wrote an article in the largest newspaper around TB headquarters that stated TBS promotes pornography.
      So Clive does have a responsibility to explain why he wrote that.

      If I wrote an article on your mother, and said she was a bad parent because you turned out to be a loose-and-smelly-vagina-herpes-infested-whore, but you didn’t think you were really that smelly down there, wouldn’t you want to know why I thought you were?

  • Barry
    April 9, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    I always thought that the T&G was headquartered at the Midtown Mall. It just sort of seemed like a good fit.

  • juror seven esq.
    April 9, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    On the plus side of your adventure to find Clive, you got a good workout up and down the stairs. Pretty sure that columnist like Clive, as bad as he is, gets to work from home. Sends his copy in via the internet. We all know that Clive has been mailing it in for years.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      April 9, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      How else can you drink and type?

      Hi Clive! You fucking loser!

  • Shuk n' Jive Clive
    April 9, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    That is all I got and if you want to see me soft shoe I can do that too. I told everyone to just say they never heard of me and I am glad it worked because I would hate to have my ass kicked by a turtle.

  • Natasha
    April 9, 2019 at 12:59 pm

    Filmed vertically.

    • VertIsWrong
      April 9, 2019 at 3:19 pm

      Yeah. I wasn’t going to mention that. But yeah.
      Just like all the other ratchets out there trying to legitimatize their wrongdoings.

  • Nadia R Spurts Sidebottom IV
    April 9, 2019 at 12:03 pm

    I’m willing to stake 100% of my faith in the Worcester Telegram and Gazette on Clive having been truthful about turtleboy sports promoting porn. This is it! Come on Clive, finish him off!

  • Big Wick
    April 9, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    Why would a receptionist try to damage a customer, to keep them from complaining again? Aaaah, I’m supposed to assume “damage CONTROL.” No worries, sometimes the typo’s, errors, misspellings and missing words leads to unintended humor. Kinda like a deformation lawsuit.

  • Pet Detective
    April 9, 2019 at 11:58 am

    “Hi. I’m looking for Clive MacFarlane. (Pause). And a clean pair of shorts.”

  • Jive Clive writes like he’s Five
    April 9, 2019 at 11:58 am

    Perhaps you should have asked for the janitor. She could’ve paged him –
    “Uncle Sweepsy, report to the front desk for a clean up !”
    “ That’s Clive !!”
    “ Oh, HIM ?? We let him write silly shit and he keeps the lobby and bathrooms fairly clean.”

    • The Name Game
      April 9, 2019 at 12:05 pm

      Haha, “Uncle Sweepsy,” that’s awesome! Unc TB, you should use this in the future (giving proper credit where it’s due, of course). You get the Name Game Star of the Day.

  • Christopher Lettiere
    April 9, 2019 at 11:52 am

    Does anyone else subscribe to the ad-free version and still get/see ads?
    I mentioned it to UTB, and he graciously offered to refund my money.
    I respectfully declined the refund.
    I’m just curious.

    PS, STFU & GFY Randallllll!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • TBFan
      April 9, 2019 at 12:00 pm

      When I still get ads, it’s because I’m not logged in.

    • TBFan
      April 9, 2019 at 12:04 pm

      I only see ads when I’m not logged in to the website.
      When I click links to the site from email, my phone, I often find I’m not logged in.
      Now I check here to see if I’m logged in..

    • itsjustme
      April 9, 2019 at 1:37 pm

      I tried to sign up for the ad free and it said my email was already taken, so I assumed it was from when I donated or purchased something. Then I tried to reset the password a few times and it never arrived to my email, so I haven’t been able to sign up yet.

      • Christopher Lettiere
        April 9, 2019 at 2:10 pm

        I had the same exact issues you describe; I messaged UTB via FB Messenger, and he resolved it w/in minutes.
        Good luck.

        It appears I’m logged-in, and I’m still seeing ads.

        Thanks for the feedback, guys.

    • Mark Berry
      Georgia Madman
      April 9, 2019 at 2:48 pm

      Yes I subscribed and still get the ads but they’re not as obnoxious as before. It worked until I had to clear my cache and cookies. Which leads me to believe it’s a cookie that kills the ads. If this could be fixed I’d appreciate it.

      • #NeuterBoy!
        April 9, 2019 at 3:25 pm

        If Uncle Turtleboy could be fixed I’d be glad to donate the $10 to the cause.
        I know a competent vet that will work under the table. My dog cost me $180, I’m betting he can go down to $100 for this task.
        Then Uncle can join the church choir. I’m betting he’ll fit right in.

  • Maggie the Cat
    April 9, 2019 at 11:51 am

    So…Clive just “phones it in”? I’m not surprised.

  • Clive Sightings
    April 9, 2019 at 11:43 am

    If you want to find Clive he sets up a table at various local supermarkets to give away the T&G and get people to subscribe.

  • Independent Thinker
    April 9, 2019 at 11:42 am

    What do you expect from a newspaper that doesn’t even send a reporter to the School Committee meetings? However, this is typical of all newspapers and even local news stations. They hire part-timers from out-of-town who work part-time for multiple media outlets, which is why when there is an accident they can’t even tell you what it is near.

  • Peter Niss
    P. Niss
    April 9, 2019 at 11:33 am

    Uhhh the internet is for porn. Who cares if someone’s *ghasp* promoting porn on the internet? Ooooohhhh noooooo. oooh noooooooooooooo.

    Oh no kids are gonna be looking at porn on the internet? uuuuhhhh, they’ve been doing that for decades. I’d know. I started watching porn when I was 11. What’s the fuck’n crisis? Who cares? It’s nothing new and wouldn’t ya know it? The world just keeps on chuggin along 0 fucks given. The sky is still above us and the earth still below. Strange.

    Clive sounds like a pearl clutching puritan. Anti-fun. No you can’t have fun. Having fun is illegal. I have a telephone pole jammed up my ass and no one can laugh.

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    April 9, 2019 at 11:20 am

    What is this, Spinal Tap trying to get the the stage?

    Riveting stuff.

    Do you have a job?

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      April 9, 2019 at 11:39 am

      If you could just fuck off and die, that would be just peachy.

      Don’t like the content of this blog? Don’t fucking read it then, dickhead!

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