Unemployed Former Fox Sports Blogger Who Was Fired For Tweeting Barron Trump Will Be A Serial Killer Is So Butthurt We Outed Fake Pats Fans Who Took Picture With Roger Goodell

Unemployed Former Fox Sports Blogger Who Was Fired For Tweeting Barron Trump Will Be A Serial Killer Is So Butthurt We Outed Fake Pats Fans Who Took Picture With Roger Goodell

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.





Yesterday we blogged about these three chudstuffers who voluntarily sought out and took a picture with Roger Goodell, even after the NFL dictator spent two years leading a witch hunt against Tom Brady, suspended him for four games, ignored science completely, and took away a first and fourth round draft pick.

For the record, we think these guys are morons, and certainly not real Patriots fans for doing this. But at the same time they’re not doing anything illegal and I’m sure they’re all fine human beings. Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be embarrassed for what they did. After everything this asshole has done to the Patriots how can any self-respecting fan pose for a picture with him? This is some Uncle Tom shit if I’ve ever seen it.

Anyway, the blog caught on quickly and WEEI sourced us:

And it’s led to TONS of butthurt:

Yea, that’s what’s gonna happen Bill. That’s what a reasonable person would take from this. Someone is gonna kill them because of our blog. Then we’re gonna feel REALLY dumb. Better get your ass to a safe space.

Yes, it is a free country Matthew. Which is why we are free to reveal their names, after they basically outed themselves in the first place immediately after the picture was taken.

I will never, ever, ever get over Deflategate. Ever. Yes, we won the Super Bowl. But when are we getting that first and fourth round draft pick back? Oh yea, never. But hey, it’s not like first round NFL draft picks are worth much. Guys like Jerrod Mayo, Vince Wilfork, Richard Seymour, and Chandler Jones are a dime a dozen. No biggie.

Yea, no bullying on the Internet!! These grown men who voluntarily took a picture with the greatest villain in Patriots history shouldn’t have their feelings hurt with mean words on the Internet!

This was great too:

That moment when you’re announcing preemptively that people are going call you mean names, and then no one does. Awkward.

Anyway, the kid next to Goodell with the boat shoes is actually commenting on our page and WEEI, and doesn’t really seem to care:

Atta boy. Sometimes you do dumb shit. Just own it and move on, right?

Not so fast.

Meet Pete Blackburn:

He’s an unemployed sports journalist who can’t get a job at Barstool Sports, even though he’d literally kill a man for the opportunity to write for the Huffington Post Jr. spinoff site. And yes, that is exactly what Barstool Sports has become. This is a feature they have now:

Chicks talking about The Bachelorette season finale. This is why it’s hilarious when butthurts whine about us “ripping off” Barstool. The only thing we have in common with them is the fact that we both publish blogs. The difference is we put out content people actually enjoy, haven’t completely sold out to social justice warriors, and don’t come up with slogans like “Saturdays are for the boys” to get you to buy $27 t-shirts.

So now Pete Blackburn is sitting in his mother’s house with a useless degree, hoping someone gives him a buzz to offer him a job scrubbing toilets at the Sports Hub. And he’s got plenty of free time to be outraged about Turtleboy:

Yea, wicked gross!! Pete Blackburn is WAYYY above that. It’s not like he’s ever gotten in trouble for tweeting out that a 10 year old child has killed at least 100 small animals, and thus is probably on the fast track to becoming a serial killer:

Oh wait, yes he did. Then he deleted it because he realized that saying a 10 year old child killed 100 small animals because you don’t agree with his father’s politics isn’t a good look for a grown man.

And when we pointed out what a fraud he was, he pulled the “I don’t hide behind it,” “It wasn’t me,” and “I read some Internet rumors that you’re a sexual deviant so it must be true” cards:

The second they start doing this:

They’ve lost the battle. We own them. It never gets old the amount of people who believe that Turtleboy is a lone individual who may or may not have sexually harassed or assaulted a gaggle of teenagers who gets younger every time the story is repeated. We’d love to see some sort of evidence or court docket or arrest report so we can publicly cut off all ties to this individual. But no one ever seems to provide it. Weird.

When people started pointing out how much more relevant we were than Predator Pete, he started throwing out claims that we were lying about our pageviews:

I love when they do this because it’s so easy to boom-roast em with facts:

God I love facts. They always help us out when we need them. A year ago we were getting about 1 million views a month. Now we’re averaging over 3 million. By this time next year it will be 10 million. Keep doubting us though. The doubters always turn out to be right. Definitely.

Anyway, now that Pete Blackburn is unemployed, what’s he gonna do with all his free time? Maybe go back to videotaping himself attempting to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour:


Or maybe he’ll do some more podcasts with his butt buddy DJ Bean:


Or maybe he’ll go back to hosting grilled cheese eating competitions between DJ Bean and Barstool Sports SJW bloggers:

Pete’s not the only one who’s butthurt either. He’s got butthurts in his mentions tweeting out more butthurt:

Uhoh!! Obscure blog no one’s ever heard of writes blog about blog they consider obscure!! Another loser who can only get clicks by blogging about the turtle. Sad. It’s why they’ve resorted to this:

Ya know you’ve hit rock bottom when you’re begging Pete Blackburn for Twitter validation. Of course Joe Scotch’s Twitter pics basically sums up the kind of winner we’re dealing with here:

If you’ve ever worn a “Saturdays are for the boys” shirt, then congratulations – you’ve fallen for the worst marketing scheme of all time. Don’t get me wrong, we all think you’re wicked cool because you can funnel Busch Lights and yell “woo-hoo.” But that’ the gayest slogan I’ve ever heard in my life. And Barstool’s SJW CEO Erica Nardini came up with it because she realized she was marketing towards a group of easily amused 19 year olds who think it makes them cool.

Makes sense he volunteers to blog for “WTP Sports” which apparently just reads Barstool all day and copies their puns word for word in a vain attempt to one day they will be noticed:


P.S. For what it’s worth – Barstool Sports is publicly shaming them and using their names too. Jerry Thornton read Turtleboy and decided not to cite us (because he doesn’t have it in him) and now he’s being railed for it in the comments:

Every day we get emails and messages from Barstool converts. Keep telling yourself we’re not taking over the media. If you say it enough times it might turn out to be true.



We urge you to support the following local businesses. 

Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM


4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

20 Comment(s)
  • Jamie
    October 10, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    Thanks , I have just been looking for info approximately this subject for ages and
    yours is the best I have found out till now. However, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you positive about the supply?
    magliette calcio

  • September 3, 2017 at 6:50 am

    You ought to be a part of a contest for one of the finest blogs on the web.
    I will recommend this website!

  • August 31, 2017 at 11:41 am

    Good day I am so excited I found your weblog, I really
    found you by mistake, while I was searching on Askjeeve
    for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like
    to say kudos for a fantastic post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love
    the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so
    when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up
    the excellent jo.

  • Strata
    August 13, 2017 at 6:29 am

    Pete, publicly attacking a 10 year old son of the President because you disagree with his positions showed your true colors and you’ll never live that down as the internet is forever. I’d live to have seen your face when you inevitability realized how bad you screwed up. Crawl into a hole please

  • Turtle bitch
    August 12, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    Ohhh Turtle bitch is angry that Pete has a bigger following than this shit site.

    • itsjustme
      August 13, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      With his whole three retweets? Obviously you didn’t read the whole article because TBS proved how many views they get.

  • Goodell Is A Ginger
    August 12, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    Rodger Goodell is a ginger, that’s why.

  • Sexual Vanilla
    August 12, 2017 at 6:41 am

    Isn’t it ironic that a blog that wants to maintain anonymity out fans who take pictures with Goodell?

    Quit reading Barstool 6 months ago. Just think of all the clicks your giving them by posting comments on the blog. Nardini sucks, Pres is a sellout. Saw a couple of those $27 t-shirts on a couple of milllennials neck beards at the game. Just shook my head and said to myself, Two Virgins.

    • Hetero Sexual
      August 12, 2017 at 12:29 pm

      No it’s not ironic, fans were outing themselves and seeking publicity on their own and they got it.

  • XXX
    August 12, 2017 at 5:27 am

    Barstool Sports lol.

  • peg-ee
    August 12, 2017 at 4:28 am

    It’s like there’s a homosexual in every picture !
    Listen to them whine like bulked little bitches.
    Watch them, experience the horror that their
    President (leader) for the next 3 & 1/2 years
    MINIMUM, will be President Donald Trump.

  • Jerry thorntons teacher sex scandal byproduct
    August 11, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    I was going to write a well thought out post but the point is, Saturday’s are for the boys is the gayest slogan ever. I envision the typical saftb enthusiast is one who sits with his buddies playing video games, vaping and drinking blue moons with an orange slice and jerk off watching tranny porn. Most have or will suck a dick just to say they are open minded. Btw, keep up the great work tbs.

  • John Barker
    August 11, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    When will they learn? And who the hell is Pete Blackbun (sic) again?? FACKS!

  • The Rant Queen
    August 11, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    These ppl using the “Aiden Kearny” link need to learn about a little quote I use daily: If it seems too good to be true, it is. In the butthurt’s case, it’s the sexual assault story. Obviously they want it to be true, (hell they NEED it to be true) to have some sort of one up under their belt, but they’re too jealous to realize how stupid they look when they use it. And anyway, if that’s the ONLY thing you can find about a TBS affiliate, then you gotta be grasping for straws. You gotta be embarrassed.

    I don’t give a shit about sports, tbh, and even I understand what that guy did was a douchebag move. These shmucks literally wanted a picture with someone “famous” and didn’t care who it was. The kind of people who praise Jesus, but if they ever saw Judas on the street, they would be like “Hey! Judas! I love you, man! Take a selfie with me!” And that’s just two-faced and annoying. Nobody likes a kiss ass, except the ass getting the kisses.

  • Kevi
    August 11, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    I love the stool. It’s all I think about

  • fucking fags
    August 11, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    Glad I never been to that gay-bar stool page, girly looking men dressing up in outfits and acting out with homo symbolism, lots of gaysexual charades going on giggling and smiling for each other.

  • Pig Man
    August 11, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    mmmm them 3 boys got pretty teeths… mmmmm pretty smile… mmm pretty eyes…
    I thinks I know why Rodger picked 3 sweet boys, bet they hairless all over… mmm pete blackbun is the pick of the litter all submissive and whatnot.

  • Johnny tightlips
    August 11, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    What a bloodbath. Guy got the flamethrower treatment

  • Johnny5
    August 11, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Barstool sucks now, but its kind of ironic that you write a blog about some dude being butthurt and then turn it into anti-Barstool rant. Also, I googled this Blackburn guy and he wasn’t fired for the Trump tweet. He got a week suspension. That was in January. Then in July the whole Fox writing staff was laid off. Title of the blog is mis-leading. Carry on……

  • They call me Ponch
    August 11, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    I was happy going through life like everyone else not knowing who this fool is……….

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron