Here Are The 3 New Hampshire Poopsmoochers Who Disgraced Tom Brady By Posing For A Picture With Roger Goodell
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
Everyone and their mother is talking about these three poopsmoochers who voluntarily took a picture, SMILING, with the devil himself:
— Brian McCarthy (@NFLprguy) August 11, 2017
Boat shoes, cargo shorts, and matching sunglasses. It’s like they’re applying to get into Boston College. Ninety-nine percent chance these nudniks sing Sweet Caroline when the Red Sox are losing and own at least three “Saturdays are for the boys” shirts.
Let me make myself perfectly clear – these are not real Patriot fans. They not only posed for a picture with Roger Goodell, they tracked him down for it. There’s no way Goodell went up to three random Pats fans and did this on his own. He doesn’t have the minerals. This was something they were happy to do and saw nothing wrong with. Considering everything this soulless $40 million a year punching bag for the owners did to Tom Brady, they all deserve to be outed. And the public clearly is counting on us:
No way we would ever let you people down.
A lot of people think this picture was staged by NFL propagandists. It would make sense. But it turns out it’s all too real. And in the least shocking news ever, they’re from New Hampshire. Let’s start with the chudstuffer on the far left:
His name is Spencer Shea:
He pretends to be a real Patriots fan:
But mostly he’s in it for the Instagram photos on the double date:
He should take off that jersey. He’s not worthy of wearing it. It’s like being a Jesus diehard and posing for a picture with Pontius Pilate.
Then there’s this one…..
Boat shoes and sunglasses. I expected nothing less. His name is Josh Bisson:
He also pretends to be a real Patriots fan:
And he doesn’t understand that when you voluntarily pose for a picture with satan, and it’s being taken by a NFL PR dooshnozzle, you have given up any sort of rights to privacy:
Oh I see. Roger Goodell started talking to you, and you got starstruck. Gotcha. Ya know a real Patriots fan does in that situation? Gives him a wedgie and tells him they banged his mother. Or they do this:
Finally there’s buttnut #3:
He’s drinking a coke at a preseason game. Nuff said. This winner’s name is John Miller:
He’s hiking bros with Josh Bisson:
Johnny Boy is none too pleased that the Internet didn’t work out the way he thought it would:
Yea, we need your permission to use a picture you voluntarily posed for with satan. Definitely.
And I don’t wanna hear anyone whining that it’s just sportball and they don’t deserve to be smeared. They absolutely do. I will never, ever, ever get over Deflategate. Ever. That whole thing was just a way for Roger Goodell to distract NFL fans from his porous handling of countless incidents of domestic violence from his players. How do you please an angry fanbase? By offering up a human sacrifice in the form of the one player on the one team that gives them all post partum butthurt – the GOAT. Tom Brady did NOTHING wrong. We’ve been over this a million times before. A federal judge ruled that he did nothing wrong. But Goodell just couldn’t let it go because he had to show the world how big his dick was. So he appealed it and two federal judges ruled that he had dictatorial powers. They never even mentioned the allegedly deflated balls in their ruling. They just ruled that Goodell could do whatever he wants without any proof because the player’s union agreed to a stupid CBA.
These three should be barred from Gillette Stadium for eternity.
God loves us more.
We urge you to support the following local businesses.