Voting 3 Times Every Election Is So Easy Because Voter ID Laws Are Racist
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So this Turtleboy went and did his civic duty today by voting. Now, we can’t admit in writing that we voted more than once today, because that would be admitting to a federal crime. But…….yea. Voting multiple times is the easiest thing to do in the world because for some strange reason we don’t have to show ID to vote.
I remember the first time I went to vote I was proud and ready to show them my ID after being denied the right to vote for so many years because I wasn’t old enough. Oh what’s that? You don’t think I’m 18? Fuck you. Give me democracy.
But the lady on the other side of the table just asked for my address. That was it. Then she crossed my name off with a color pencil (after searching for at least 90 seconds while going passed my name 20 times) and gave me a ballot.
What the hell just happened? I could’ve been voting for YEARS!!! This was way easier than buying booze. And shouldn’t our electoral process be a little bit more secure than liquor transactions? Just sayin.
Anyway, a couple years later I went to vote again. Once again I was greeted by the 90 year old woman behind the table who can’t hear or see. This time I gave my address and she then asked for my name. Keep in mind I can see the list in front of me much better than she can. I could pick any name in front of me that wasn’t crossed off with the red color pencil. I told her my name and noticed that someone had already voted using my name. Ya got that? They stole my vote. This was the point when I realized what a joke American democracy is.
I had two options – 1) try to sort it out with the 90 year old lady and get stuck there all day as they tried to sort it out. 2) Pick another name from the list in front of me. I went with option B, told the lady she didn’t hear me right, and no one was the wiser.
So once again, I’m not saying I vote MULTIPLE times every single election, but when you show up to the polls and you see this:
Why would you only vote once? Or just go to another polling place and vote there. Because voting in America is no different than the wild west. It’s a free for all. If I did it every single election, then it’s safe to assume I wouldn’t be the only one doing it.
Voter ID laws are probably the most common sense laws that have ever existed. This should not be a political issue. Turns out it is though. Republicans want them and democrats don’t. This blew my mind. Why? Why wouldn’t everyone want to ensure that the voting process was clean? Take a wild guess…..
Of course it’s racist!! What isn’t racist these days? Because apparently in America only white people are allowed to get a driver’s license. The argument is that the poor and elderly are less likely to have an ID. Let’s just ignore the fact that you can walk into the RMV and get an ID for dirt cheap. I’m willing to concede that the government could pay for a voting ID for anyone who can show that purchasing one is an economic hardship.
But even that compromise has been shot down time and time again. Because at the end of the day, they don’t want clean elections. They want people who are undocumented to be able to vote. They want to load up the Kevin Ksen rape van with junkies, give them donuts, and tell them to vote for Sarai Rivera.
Here’s another argument against voter ID’s:
This is by far the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever seen. Hey idiots, you know why there are no alleged cases of voter ID fraud? Because it’s literally IMPOSSIBLE to catch someone voting under a false name if you can’t ask them for ID. You get that, right? It’s really, really freaking simple. If I go to vote in three separate precincts, they can’t ask me for ID in any of them. They have to take my word that I am who I say I am. Thus there cannot possibly be an allegation of voter fraud made. Because the allegation itself is illegal.
So once again, I’m not saying I vote at least three times every election (including today), because that would be admitting to a federal crime, albeit a federal crime that’s incredibly easy to get away with. But just like OJ Simpson infamously penned the book, “If I Did It” (and we all know he did it) I will call this blog, “If I Voted Three Times Every Election” and leave it at that.
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