Voting 3 Times Every Election Is So Easy Because Voter ID Laws Are Racist

Voting 3 Times Every Election Is So Easy Because Voter ID Laws Are Racist

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So this Turtleboy went and did his civic duty today by voting. Now, we can’t admit in writing that we voted more than once today, because that would be admitting to a federal crime. But…….yea. Voting multiple times is the easiest thing to do in the world because for some strange reason we don’t have to show ID to vote.

I remember the first time I went to vote I was proud and ready to show them my ID after being denied the right to vote for so many years because I wasn’t old enough. Oh what’s that? You don’t think I’m 18? Fuck you. Give me democracy.

But the lady on the other side of the table just asked for my address. That was it. Then she crossed my name off with a color pencil (after searching for at least 90 seconds while going passed my name 20 times) and gave me a ballot.

What the hell just happened? I could’ve been voting for YEARS!!! This was way easier than buying booze. And shouldn’t our electoral process be a little bit more secure than liquor transactions? Just sayin.

Anyway, a couple years later I went to vote again. Once again I was greeted by the 90 year old woman behind the table who can’t hear or see. This time I gave my address and she then asked for my name. Keep in mind I can see the list in front of me much better than she can. I could pick any name in front of me that wasn’t crossed off with the red color pencil. I told her my name and noticed that someone had already voted using my name. Ya got that? They stole my vote. This was the point when I realized what a joke American democracy is.

I had two options – 1) try to sort it out with the 90 year old lady and get stuck there all day as they tried to sort it out. 2) Pick another name from the list in front of me. I went with option B, told the lady she didn’t hear me right, and no one was the wiser. 

So once again, I’m not saying I vote MULTIPLE times every single election, but when you show up to the polls and you see this:


Why would you only vote once? Or just go to another polling place and vote there. Because voting in America is no different than the wild west. It’s a free for all. If I did it every single election, then it’s safe to assume I wouldn’t be the only one doing it.

Voter ID laws are probably the most common sense laws that have ever existed. This should not be a political issue. Turns out it is though. Republicans want them and democrats don’t. This blew my mind. Why? Why wouldn’t everyone want to ensure that the voting process was clean? Take a wild guess…..


Of course it’s racist!! What isn’t racist these days? Because apparently in America only white people are allowed to get a driver’s license. The argument is that the poor and elderly are less likely to have an ID. Let’s just ignore the fact that you can walk into the RMV and get an ID for dirt cheap. I’m willing to concede that the government could pay for a voting ID for anyone who can show that purchasing one is an economic hardship.

But even that compromise has been shot down time and time again. Because at the end of the day, they don’t want clean elections. They want people who are undocumented to be able to vote. They want to load up the Kevin Ksen rape van with junkies, give them donuts, and tell them to vote for Sarai Rivera.

Here’s another argument against voter ID’s:


This is by far the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever seen. Hey idiots, you know why there are no alleged cases of voter ID fraud? Because it’s literally IMPOSSIBLE to catch someone voting under a false name if you can’t ask them for ID. You get that, right? It’s really, really freaking simple. If I go to vote in three separate precincts, they can’t ask me for ID in any of them. They have to take my word that I am who I say I am. Thus there cannot possibly be an allegation of voter fraud made. Because the allegation itself is illegal.

So once again, I’m not saying I vote at least three times every election (including today), because that would be admitting to a federal crime, albeit a federal crime that’s incredibly easy to get away with. But just like OJ Simpson infamously penned the book, “If I Did It” (and we all know he did it) I will call this blog, “If I Voted Three Times Every Election” and leave it at that.




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33 Comment(s)
  • BobnMic
    March 3, 2016 at 2:12 am

    We could learn a lot from the state of Florida because if your name is Chad – you are hanging baby. Look out ladies…

  • Silas Dogood
    March 2, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    The professional election fraudsters use absentee ballots to wrack up huge vote margins. Thats easy too.

  • Adam
    March 2, 2016 at 11:13 am

    Iraq half figured this out after we liberated them with Freedom bombs. When you pass in your ballot / punch the keys / whatever, you dip one finger into a special ink that doesn’t wear off for 24 hours. Still doesn’t eliminate stealing someone’s vote, but it does prevent people from voting multiple times. I am pro-voter ID by the way.

    • Kevins 9 Iron
      Frank Lee
      March 2, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      What and disenfranchise fingerless people?

      • Ted
        March 2, 2016 at 7:43 pm

        Then some other appendage gets dipped in purple ink!

  • Election grandma
    March 2, 2016 at 9:08 am

    Oh Turtleboy, you naughty boy

  • Wormtown Refugee
    March 2, 2016 at 8:06 am

    I live in an apartment complex. I give my address. The deaf, elderly woman opens a massive register before my eyes with dozens of names, all at the same address. I could pick any of them. I actually have to physically point to my name because she cannot hear or understand me. She uses a ruler and colored pencil to cross out my “name”.

    Reality? Could be anyone claiming my name, or any name. And with 20% voter turn out you can see how easy it is to run a fraud. Or to vote multiple times, since there are 6 elders at the table, set apart by letters in your last name. All doing sudoku or crosswords as they sit there.

    Don’t think it matters? Nationwide in 1960, Kennedy beat Nixon for President by the average of 1 vote per precinct, nationwide.

  • scrapdogg
    March 2, 2016 at 3:21 am

    You are going to need to secretly film, review, and offer irrefutable video proof showing the same person filing out a ballot more than once and submitted it into the ballot machine. DO NOT INCLUDE AUDIO as this would only add wiretapping or some other such bs to the mountain of charges they would just love to pin on you in addition to any other laws you have already broken. You will want to do this at several locations and include some really really white neighborhoods and some not so white to silence the fools that will say this video is targeted at minorities. Remove any exif data from the file in the likely event the video is in digital format. Anonymously submit that damning video to every news outlet you can think of until we get change.

  • Dgaf
    March 2, 2016 at 3:16 am

    Everyone knows at least one person who either doesn’t have, lost, or an expired ID. That is too big of a margin to be fair when its everyones right to vote. Voter fraud is unlikely all over the place as the person stealing your vote would have to know your name and address and also go to the right precinct. Once the name is checked off you cannot vote again. For someone to do this would be a major effort at many different polling stations because the workers would recognize said person voting over and over again. just because you could read the list doesn’t mean its on display for people to steal your identity. If anyone’s rigging elections its not the voters.

    • EG
      March 2, 2016 at 9:10 am

      They always just leave the book of names open so all you have to do is look on the table.

    • StupidIsAsStupidDoes
      March 2, 2016 at 10:39 am

      Everyone should have an ID. It’s a BS reason to say they lost it or it expired. Get another! If I lose my driver’s license what do I do? GET ANOTHER ONE. What a novel idea! It’s just being a responsible adult to have an ID on y our person when in public.

      • Ben
        March 2, 2016 at 7:04 pm

        What if you don’t have a driver’s license?

        • Ted
          March 2, 2016 at 7:40 pm

          No drivers license? Get a State ID!

  • BobnMic
    March 2, 2016 at 12:53 am

    Man I tell you what. They have the best chocolate chip cookies in the place that I vote. I chow down like four. And I love the experienced women that run the place. NOTE: I did not say old ladies. I love them. I say hi and they say hi and then I say hi again and then they get to business then ever so friendly they tell me to move the fuck on.

    But on the way out guess what? Another chocolate chip cookie snag.

  • Wwy
    March 2, 2016 at 12:52 am

    Tough decision communist or sex offender,I couldn’t vote like to keep my hands clean. Maybe a democrat will run next time.

  • Tomy
    March 1, 2016 at 11:27 pm

    How come I can’t comment, whenever I try and post something calling an article bs?

  • tatted space
    March 1, 2016 at 10:41 pm

    How about using a health insurance card? Since every resident HAS to have health insurance in this state, it at least has your name on it.

    • Hughbo Mont
      March 2, 2016 at 6:13 am

      You didn’t think it all the way through. In MA, you don’t have to be a citizen of the USA to have a Mass Health card.

      • Ben
        March 2, 2016 at 7:02 pm

        They would look at your Mass Health card, look for your name, and not find it. It just means they need to match your health insurance with your voter registration.

  • Devils Advocate
    March 1, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    Turtleboy: There is voter fraud everywhere! We need ID’s!

    Logical person: There were only 4 cars of fraud in Texas, it’s not a real problem.

    Turtleboy: Because nobody needs ID’S and you can’t catch them!

    Great circular logic there turtle.

  • Danny
    March 1, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    Ebt card I fucking hate auto correct

    • clive mc'turtle
      March 2, 2016 at 6:54 am

      bet card kinda works as well

  • Danny
    March 1, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    We can do this the easy way all with drivers license can use them and the poor can have their pic on their entire card well also save money on bet fraud wow that was simple

  • Nanny
    March 1, 2016 at 9:45 pm

    I once held this opinion, TB. Then I asked, what is the magic number of individuals to be disenfranchised by requiring ID. Example: the blind.

    So what is it? 10 disenfranchised? 100? 1000? 10000? You tell me.

    I would prefer voter ID, but if it disenfranchises anyone I can’t agree with it.


    • WorcesterResident
      March 1, 2016 at 10:23 pm

      Perhaps they could mail it to you when you register. Not necessarily a photo ID but just something issues with name and address. Just food for thought.

      • WorcesterResident
        March 1, 2016 at 10:24 pm


    • Hmmmm
      March 2, 2016 at 6:18 am

      Not trying to be argumentative however, how does requiring an id disenfranchise the blind? My mother is blind and carries a state issued I’d with her rather than a drivers license.

    • StupidIsAsStupidDoes
      March 2, 2016 at 10:34 am

      True a blind individual would not or at least SHOULD not have a valid driver’s license, but they absolutely can and SHOULD have a State Issued ID. How else will blind people prove that they are old enough at the packie? This argument is bogus. Sorry Nanny!

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    March 1, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    What is this common sense approach the turtle speaks of? Next time, just figure a way to make voting without ID a racists issue. Boom, mandatory voter IDs.

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