Walmart Wookie Monster Keeps Dog In Obvious Distress In Hot Car While She Shops In Walmart, Goes Full White Trash On Concerned Citizens  


Blogs at Turtleboy work on a season rotation. November and December are the “I’m a single Mom looking for help around the holidays so my crotch fruits don’t find out the hard way that Santa doesn’t visit ratchets” blogs. July and August are the Shark blogs that get UT fired up. And in May and June we usually commence a summer long series of ratchets leaving dogs in hot cars while they go shopping. Here’s our first one of 2019 from the the Salem Walmart.

Well, there you have it folks. Living proof that white trash comes in all shades and colors. That lizard wizard is one of the great Massholes of our generation.

“Oh, he’s panting!! That’s what dogs do, they fucking pant, they bahhhk, whatevahhh! Get the fuck away!!”

Yea, they do pant. They just don’t look like they’re dying of thirst while doing so.

“He’s got plenty of water, he don’t need no fucking water. Get the fuck away from me, you guys are fucking retarded. You gotta be kidding me. Fucking faggots.”

Umm, pretty hard for the dog to drink water out of a Poland Springs bottle.

“170 dollahhhhs, yea, but he’s abused. Get the fuck out of heeeyaahhh.”

Oh, you bought dog food so the pup doesn’t starve to death. Thank you for your service.

“The reward goes out to all of you concerned, fucking retahhdded nosy mother fuckers.”

There’s actually a number of people in the comments defending the Walmart Wookie Monster, claiming that the mob was overreacting, the sunroof and windows were slightly opened, and she just spent a bunch of money on dog food so she therefore is a good owner.

But any defense of this call of booty combat vet has to be reconsidered the moment you saw the shirt she just to wear out in public, which may be the most Walmart shirt ever:

“I’m a happy go lucky ray of fucking sunshine.”

That you are dear. And you just gave me skin cancer.

Even more ratchet worthy is the license plate cover.

Yea, this crusty crotch crustacean goes around WISHING someone would say some shit to her. She could’ve easily left her dog at home, but she wanted to be the first person in 2019 to get blown up on Facebook for leaving her dog in a hot car, just so she can talk some shit.

“Post a video, I don’t give a fuck. Fucking retahhhhdds.”

That woman has been WAITING for this day to happen.

The police didn’t give her a citation, probably because she wasn’t worth it, and he looked blown away by the level of ratchetry that was happening in front of him.

And no, it’s not OK to leave your dog in a hot car like that, even with the windows slightly down. Watch the video of the dog in the car on this woman’s Facebook post:

That pooch was in distress. He was heavily panting and his eyes were bulging, showing the whites. No, that’s not OK. And like I said, there’s no reason you can’t leave your dog at home. They’re not crotch fruits, and they don’t need a babysitter if you leave them alone for two hours. At least the ratchet hole you call home probably has ventilation, isn’t 85 degrees, and hopefully has a water bowl.

Anyway, we’d love to know the Walmart Wookie Monster’s real name. Shouldn’t be hard since there’s a license plate, so send that over if you’ve got it. Something tells me this is the kind of chick who would have no problem coming on the live show and giving UT a piece of her mind.

Odds on where she’s from? In this order of likelihood – Lynn, Peabody, Salem, Saugus


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65 Comment(s)
  • Massholeredneck
    May 29, 2019 at 5:37 am

    Should’ve just shot her, then arrested the dog for loitering.

  • Tim
    May 28, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    Nobody has come up with her FB page yet? There has to be some good pics of her sweater puppies.

  • Nee Chi
    May 28, 2019 at 10:58 am

    Massachusetts: where dogs get better considerations than unborn children…

  • randiguy2006
    Dogs Are People Too!
    May 28, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Meh, wasnt it only 80 degrees?

    Same people who got their panties in a twist would walk right buy a human in distress.

  • Ungawah
    May 28, 2019 at 7:25 am

    She is an embarrasment to my fellow spear chuckers back on the Savanna.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    May 27, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    This is why people give up and let the ratchets do what they want. She talks like a savage, she acts like a jigaboo, and she has a vocabulary possibly one notch above an ape. You can’t argue with a tree swinger. Even the cop knows you can’t communicate with bushmen.

  • Captain Trips
    George Washington
    May 27, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    Thanks a lot Abe Lincoln

  • Froot
    May 27, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    I like her sass.

  • VPN Saved My Life
    May 27, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    There’s little doubt that this person is a stripper. It’s rare to see a black person talk like someone in Good Will Hunting. Weird.

  • Section 8 kennel
    May 27, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    I must say I have the utmost respect for this woman. Imagine taking care of all these orphan dogs and being gainfully employed , paying all her bills without the need for any public assistance. Wtf am I kidding?Ratchet Skank.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    May 27, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    Even hot and panting, the dog is better looking than his ratchet master…..

  • True Reality Speaks
    Ashley's Beach Body Fail
    May 27, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    This slampig’s attitude and behavior has EBT gold digger/stripper all over it. Acting all entitled, no fucks given for anyone or anything else but herself. Lock her and her thunder thighs in that car for a while and see how her weave and her fake tits hold up to the heat and dehydration.

    And the pussy cop and virtue signaling camera twat are almost as bad. Pretty much a microcosm of all the things wrong in today’s society. Thank a lib.

  • all my posts are satire
    May 27, 2019 at 6:41 pm

    >chimp out
    It’s all so tiresome

  • I think you got this one wrong
    May 27, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    NSTB, I think you got this one wrong. The real idiots were the ones filming her. Other than her shit, language, vehicle preference, license plate frame, hair, attitude, clothes, and others….She left the car properly ventilated for leaving a dog in it for under a few hours. We are going to turn a blind eye to the morons that called the cops on her because they don’t know the difference? What a waste of the cops’ time.

    • Your cats don’t even like you
      May 27, 2019 at 11:18 pm

      Massachusetts law prohibits leaving animals alone in the car during extreme heat or cold. Not going to get into basic science but the temperature inside a car can increase on average 19 degrees per 10 minutes when in the sun. You don’t have to know anything to know that. You’ve sat in a car on a nice day and found over time that your miserable balls have gone off. Crazy! So all your brain has to do is use the tiniest bit of power to get to the bottom of who stole your balls. Since you’re not in a vegetated state – I think, I have faith you can figure out that you’re in a fucking hot box and they fucking sweated off.

      If a dog is in danger and/or showing signs of distress..the law says to call 911, check for any unlocked doors, and take a gander with yours eyes across the parking lot for a possible owner. Then (legally!) smash open whatever window is furthest from the dog and wait for whoever was dispatched.

      Cracking a window circulates next to nothing and while leaving water is important, it’s not going to prevent heat stroke.

      In case that was too much for you – no, no, no, andddd lastly, no.
      It’s in the cops job description, and it’s in the writing in her shirt

      • Nope
        May 28, 2019 at 7:46 am

        Keep crying, keep talking about cracked windows.

        The sunroof was fully open, fucktard.

        I passed 3rd grade science too. Difference is, I only had to do it once, retard.

        So, yes, yes, yes, and would.

  • bill fleming
    May 27, 2019 at 4:39 pm

    Black Dogs Lives Don’t Matter! For some reason I believe the cop is saying to himself “Thank God I don’t work in Roxbury

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    May 27, 2019 at 4:30 pm

    Reason 24,674 I wish the South won the civil war.

  • AndISaidWhat???
    May 27, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    I thought only trashy white chicks talked like that. Color me surprised.

  • Fuck you
    May 27, 2019 at 2:40 pm

    I always wonder what people in our climate think of the people in the desert climate states…it gets over 120°some days and dogs are still being walked and still alive. I have yet to actually hear or read a story where a dog is found dead in a car, yet this is still a thing!

  • Jeff J
    The Pampered Pet
    May 27, 2019 at 1:51 pm

    Holy shit……$170 for dog food? She got robbed yo. That is THE smallest MOST EXPENSIVE bag of dog food I’ve ever seen.
    And another thing, look where she parked. She knew she shouldn’t have left the dog in there, that’s why she parked where she did.

    • Kim Wescott
      May 27, 2019 at 4:42 pm

      She’s a shithead. She bought more than dog food.

      Or perhaps she s the troll below that said she had 15, FIFTEEN, dogs? It would cost quite a lot to feed them al.

      In ether case, she’s a ratchet of the highest order. Tramp.

  • Virtue Signaling Drama Queen
    May 27, 2019 at 12:06 pm

    Thank god for the turtle! I’m sure that there were dogs walking across pavement with their bare doggy feet getting hot and being fed leftover ice cream even though they are lactose intolerant. Who is sticking up for those poor doggies? There is so much work to be done!

  • juror seven esq.
    May 27, 2019 at 11:47 am

    So in Massachusetts is it illegal for the rear license plate frame to obscure the state name? Vehicle was inspected some time in January 2019. This state and the vehicle inspection program is beyond belief. Since January I know of several people that had their vehicle rejected because the plate had dull\faded numbers\letters. Charlie Baker is a clown.

  • Learn English
    May 27, 2019 at 11:34 am

    “Yea” sounds like gay, say, nay, hay, ….Yeah is the word you’re looking for. GED Turtle.

    • Edit your work
      May 27, 2019 at 12:39 pm

      I read the articles all the time but seriously…why dont they review the spelling and grammar and all that before publishing? So many times there are missing words or whack sentences due to poor grammar and/or punctuation. Hey im typing on a phone right now so i can write in a sloppy manner to post a comment. But when you are publishing news you want to be taken serious then EDIT your work!

  • Lol
    May 27, 2019 at 11:22 am

    Check Twitter dms for name

  • Said Everyone
    May 27, 2019 at 11:17 am

    I’m surprised everyone involved didn’t just blame the cop like they usually do

    • MJP
      May 27, 2019 at 11:28 am

      Why didn’t the Salem Police Officer lock her up. With a mouth like that and people standing close by disorderly conduct Ch272-44. Have animal control secure the pup and tow the vehicle. She’s swearing at the police officer. Lock her up……

      • power shitposter
        May 27, 2019 at 3:13 pm

        taze the angry bitch/cunt/whore/slutpig

  • Ray Patriarca
    Jerry Nadlers fupa
    May 27, 2019 at 11:03 am

    Lock her in the car for a couple of hours !
    She could definitely benefit to lose some weight from that fat azzzz.
    But then again, she’s probably looking at it as more cushion for the pushin’ !
    Loudmouthed cunt !

  • Daniel Crowell
    May 27, 2019 at 10:59 am

    Not to mention the poor little fellow has to sniff the rancid juices that oozes from her fuck holes on the front seat…….Yuk…

  • Chip Striker
    May 27, 2019 at 10:57 am

    For some reason I’m not as upset when the snap benefits go towards dog food.

  • Ahhhh...
    May 27, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Kristine Crawford was just looking for virtue points. She’s retarded.

    Sunroof open, windows cracked at least an inch. Dog would’ve been fine for hours and hours.

    Owner had every right to be fuckin annoyed at the chai latte club tryin to judge.

    No skin in this game: just an upper class Latino guy here.

    Also, great body.

    Remember to downvote the truth.

    • Big Wick
      May 27, 2019 at 12:15 pm

      I get your points, but, uh… her name’s “Katherine.”

      Tell you what: why don’t you perform an experiment on a hot sunny day, with your windows “cracked” and thermometers placed in nearby shade and in vehicle. Even with a bit of air flow the inside temp will be surprisingly high.

      • Science Bitch
        May 27, 2019 at 12:37 pm

        Heat rises and having the sunroof all the way open with windows cracked creates a phenomenon known as “ventilation.” This is very different then if it was just cracked windows. Yes it was warm in there but we aren’t talking about July in Death Valley.

        • True Reality Speaks
          Apparently Science Didn't Make You Its Bitch - You Were Too Dumb
          May 27, 2019 at 6:31 pm

          Love the poseurs that couldn’t distinguish Fluids or Thermodynamics from Science for Dummies!

          First Clue? Heat rises … lol!

          • Name*
            May 27, 2019 at 7:48 pm


            the movement caused within a fluid by the tendency of hotter and therefore less dense material to rise, and colder, denser material to sink under the influence of gravity, which consequently results in transfer of heat.

          • Name*
            May 27, 2019 at 7:54 pm

            Before you post back make sure that you understand the distinction between fluids and liquids. It seems like you might think that they are one in the same.

    • Screw Snowflakes
      Dog Lives Matter
      May 27, 2019 at 2:29 pm

      To Ricky Ricardo the science guy:
      Yesterday on the local news it showed with the temperature and sunshine it took only 15 minutes for inside car to reach 100 degree. Half hour it was at about 140 degree. Sunroof open probably lowered it only by 5-10 degree.
      Stop being a cuckold for this piece of shit dog owner desperado.

      • Ahhhh....again.
        May 27, 2019 at 6:09 pm

        The news told you shit gets hot in the sun? Wow, yer almost a fekken genius, guy. Glad guys like you are tuned in.

        The sunroof was open. Case closed smarty. Car couldn’t have been 5 degrees hotter than the ambient outside temp.

        Notice how It took a man (the cop) on the scene to NOT write her up for animal negligence? Cause the bimbo did something right.

        Kristine, Katherine? Who gives a shit. She’s a loser.

  • Corinth Arkadin
    May 27, 2019 at 10:42 am

    Goes full White Trash?

    Is something wrong with the contrast on my computer?

  • Concerned onlooker
    May 27, 2019 at 10:32 am

    One concerned onlooker did not say “hey why isn’t your baby in a car seat, she looks just like you.”.

    • Corinth Arkadin
      May 27, 2019 at 4:24 pm

  • Woke Wendy
    May 27, 2019 at 10:25 am

    What do you mean ‘goes full white trash’?
    What you meant to say is ‘goes full ni@@er’!

  • Jordan
    May 27, 2019 at 10:22 am

    Dog was fine. Some savior wanted attention.

  • sterlingsilva
    May 27, 2019 at 10:15 am

    couldn’t get past the fun bags

  • S
    May 27, 2019 at 10:12 am

    Lacking some serious substance today. Another subpar article.

    Her shirt is trash though. No self respecting woman would wear that in public, same for the plates.

    Pumpkin Spice’s shaming post on Facebook is just fantastic, really shows who we are as a society.

  • First Time Caller
    May 27, 2019 at 10:12 am

    Looks like the Wookie Monster (or one of her welfare pig relatives) is here downvoting
    16 dogs? Most likely more like 16 illegitimate kids by 16 different fathers – but there are at least 48 possibilities of who the sperm donor is

  • Mom's Basement
    May 27, 2019 at 10:11 am

    Sup shorty? Leave the dog with the boyfriend and come kick it subterranean!

  • The Name Game
    May 27, 2019 at 10:00 am

    I didn’t know Holsteins came in brown, black and yellow. Nice udders.

  • Stupidfuckentwat
    May 27, 2019 at 9:55 am

    You all are stupid! First off dogs do Pant! Dogs can’t sweat so they pant! 2. That dog was no where neglected or in distress by any means . Look like she was there for only 5 min. 3. The bottle had a wide opening the tongue can fit idiots. I have 15 dogs my oldest is 16 youngest is now 9. Give me a fucken god dam break. Turtle boy this was stupid and I can’t wait to rash Katherine or whatever that dumb bitch is that called the cops. This is the most dumbest article grow up

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      May 27, 2019 at 10:13 am

      Could you possibly do us all a favour and fuck right off?

      Many thanks in advance.


    • Mom’s Basement
      May 27, 2019 at 10:26 am

      Is that you sweet thang? It’s too hawt on the surface today. How bout chillin with some Henny and a fat blunt? You just bring yoself some Henny and a fat blunt! If you really do have 16 dogs shower first cause mom’s dog gonna nuzzle your crotch an hump the shit out of y’all otherwise

    • Kim Wescott
      May 27, 2019 at 10:36 am

      Perhaps you are actually the animal abuser in the video? The one SO prolific with every version of the F word? Get over yourself.

      And 15 dogs?? FIFTEEN? Where do you live? What do your neighbors think? And I believe you need a kennel license for that many. You’ve got that, right?

    • Corinth Arkadin
      May 27, 2019 at 10:47 am

      Your name is apropos.

      I bet you suck a mean dick tho.

      • Pennsrant
        May 27, 2019 at 10:58 am

        Fifteen dogs? Never mind where they live–where does all that dog shit go? Oh…wait…

        • Fuckturtleboypoorasspeople
          May 27, 2019 at 12:52 pm

          I am fucken licensed stupid fuck! I have more land than your street. I have no dam kids. I even have a vet that comes over and does their shots and grooms them ! I rescued them from a kill shelter in Georgia . Not all the same time. Stupid idiots

          • Corinth Arkadin
            May 27, 2019 at 4:26 pm

            Licenced to Ill?

            The fuq are you on about?

          • Bertha Von Nation
            May 28, 2019 at 3:02 pm

            She’s licensed to kill…the English language.

    • The Name Game
      May 27, 2019 at 12:44 pm

      Triggered much? Woof!

    • Too legit to quit
      May 28, 2019 at 12:12 pm

      She was in there for almost an hour. fucktard and the sunroof was covered with a plastic guard locking in the heat!
      The dog was yelping and definitely in distress and you’re an asshole for sticking up for this trash talking wookie
      You must be a little fucking ray of sunshine too huh

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    May 27, 2019 at 9:53 am

    Wookiee has 2 Es.

    Other than that it is an excellent expose of a stupid slag who’s so full of her own self-importance she thinks she can do what she wants without any consequence.

    Attitudes like this are what make modern society the bucket of turds and toenails that it is.

    “I think I’m right, therefore I am”. What a cunt, she is.

  • Pickles
    May 27, 2019 at 9:40 am

    No chance she is from the Gus.

  • Well, No Shit
    May 27, 2019 at 9:39 am

    Fucking “Wookie Monster.”

    Pure. 24K. Gold.

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