Hoodrat Heroes

Washed Up East Boston Gangsta Henry Hills Says He Can’t Be Racist Because He Had A Black Cellmate, TJ Facks Vows To Find Turtleboy And Make Turtle Soup

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Earlier today we published this blog about washed up East Boston wannabe mafiaso heroin dealer Robert Ciampi, who despite his convictions for heroin dealing was still able to open up a restaurant in Eastie and get a liquor license. Oh, and he had a State Senator and the Mayor’s staff supporting him at the grand opening.

Well, he’s seen the blog and him and his prison boy toy Danny Dion are NOT happy about it….

Oh snap!! We’ve officially met our match!!

I got bad news for you though TJ Facks – we are all Turtleboy. Well, not you or Henry Pills.

But all normal, law abiding, non-virtue signaling, taxpaying, hard working people out there without a stick lodged up their ass are Turtleboy. We are everywhere. We are at the DTA office working behind the counters when you go to get your stamps. We are on your Facebook page, screenshotting the shit you post. We are at the probation department, taking glamour shots from your most recent check in.

Good luck finding us.

However, upon closer inspection it seems as if Henry Pills is NOT a racist, even though he posts stuff like this all the time:

According to him he can’t be racist because he asked to have a black cellmate….

I don’t know what’s more amazing about what I just read there. The fact that he he thinks requesting a black guy to bunk up with him absolves him of being racist, or the fact that his prison nickname is Puss. Although I’m honored that he’d let me sleep under his bed at the Motel Middleton house of corrections. I’d be impressed if he could last 20 minutes with Desk Girl though.

More ratchets came out to play and claimed we bully low hanging fruit:

Uhoh!! Turtle soup about to be on the menu. Served up by this guy of course:

Although his specialty is queef strokeanoff.

He claimed that we made fun of people who die in car accidents, but when asked to produce a link he was like….nah fam….

It’s almost as if it doesn’t exist.

Anyway, I wonder what Danny went to jail for. Let’s check the Google machine!!

When Daniel Dion found a credit card somewhere near the Stop & Shop on Enon Street in Beverly last March, he seized the opportunity, court documents show.  Dion, 28, of 117 Railroad Ave., Hamilton, appears to have started out by using the card at the McDonald’s across the street for $1.07. 

“You gotta love the dollar menu,” quipped Salem District Court Judge Matthew Machera, who on Friday sentenced Dion to 22 months in jail, with 10 months to be served and the balance suspended until July 2016, after Dion pleaded guilty to a string of credit card fraud charges.

Boom. Roasted. By a judge. You lose.

But obviously he wanted more than just a cheeseburger…..

After McDonald’s, Dion had gone on to rack up hundreds of dollars worth of fraudulent charges at other businesses, including Cycles 128, where he spent more than $550 on equipment to “hop up” his scooter, and at GameStop, where he purchased a Sony PlayStation and several games, according to court documents. In Hamilton, at Hamilton Convenience, he used the card six times to purchase cartons of cigarettes worth nearly $200 each, court papers show. And there were other trips to McDonald’s, as well as Dunkin’ Donuts shops all around the North Shore. 

Guarantee they were Newports. If you’re a grown ass man with a credit card that you intend on going on a shopping spree with, and you immediately go out and buy video games, bow your head into a pillow of virginity.

By the way, this my favorite judge ever:

The judge initially questioned the plea agreement that had been worked out between Sylvanowicz and defense lawyer Tracy Walts, noting that Dion has a five-page record littered with similar offenses. “Why is he not getting the max?” asked the judge. 

Can we get more judges like this please? People who ask DA’s why they’re not putting their foot on the gas with these chuds? You know you’re not doing your job when the judge wants more jail time than the DA.

But the lawyers suggested that the deal was part of a “global resolution” of the pending cases in both Salem and Ipswich district courts. Walts said that while in the past her client stole to support a drug habit, this case “just seems to be something stupid that he thought he’d get away with.” 

Oh I see, he’s got that “disease.” The one that makes you give out handies in jail to guys named Puss so you can get your next fix.

She also said that while he’s been awaiting trial, at the Middleton Jail, Dion has taken part in classes, including a course on critical thinking skills. 

Looks like he forgot to take critical thinking class, because powder chowder made it onto Turtleboy.

Oh, and he claims he’s from Salem on Facebook, but don’t get it twisted bro – you’re from Hamilton. You know how many people we’ve blogged about from Hamilton. Zero. Because it’s one of the nicer towns in the north shore. You cannot possibly be a hardo if you’re from Hamilton. You might go to Salem or Peabody to commit crimes, but at the end of the day you’re just a chud from Hamilton trying to impress a washed up geriatric wannabe gangsta.

26 Comment(s)
  • Manchester Turtlette
    July 28, 2018 at 3:18 am

    We’re all so supah scared of Chunky Brewster and his prison boy toy! They’re definitely gonna get us, guys! Wonder how desperate his celly had to be for him to earn the nickname Puss? Cannot fucking wait for Live tomorrow night!

    • Finn
      July 28, 2018 at 8:27 am

      Will you please pass along a couple of questions to TB to ask DD?

      Please ask Danny if he still wears his baseball cap slightly askew like he does on Facebook ( I’m guessing he finishes that look with 3-quarter length shorts). Please tell him he looks like an old twatty inner-city youth counselor that teaches the kids about the dangers of rap.

      Also the haircut… aka — the “lawnmower special” — where does he get it done?? I don’t even think Supercuts would be that angry at a customer. I’m guessing a “cousin.

      Fondly,
      Finn

  • Yeayo
    July 27, 2018 at 11:02 am

    Are these two related? They look alike and you know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…

  • The angry taint
    July 27, 2018 at 8:53 am

    These 2 fanooks can’t be fucking serious? These people are still out there?…..baffling

  • CrispyC
    July 27, 2018 at 8:17 am

    Was there any fucking doubt whatsoever this ass cactus was going to buy a few cartons of cigs and head to Gamestop with someone else’s credit card?

  • Puss is a Scooter Boy
    July 27, 2018 at 6:10 am

    Any fucking fag who spends $550 of stolen money to “hop up his scooter” deservedly earned the moniker of “Puss”.

  • Dion da prison bitch
    July 26, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    Kid you’re from fuckin Hamilton you talk shit and you wear Izod and you look like a golf caddy and ur an informant???

    Are you fn kiddin me???

    Exactly how much dick did u suck in jail???

  • Officer Chan MHC
    July 26, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    Part of cwb (crazy white boys) my ass, they just told him that so he would wash their underwear for coffee balls instead of ramin soup. Like they did to that kid Jay from Beverly. Definitely see this kid eating a cum filled dick meat samwhich chilling in punk city while braiding pubes for jelly packets..

  • Finn
    July 26, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    Awwww Danny — what are you going to do? Run an IP address lookup? Sue for slander? Deformation? Maybe TB should just meet up with you at the local Mickey Ds (*his* treat – we don’t want a repeat of what happened to you before #embarrassing #amirite?) so this isn’t prolonged. Better yet, I think you should reach out to desk girl Abi – she’s extremely helpful (though she’s a tad desperate).

    In the meantime…

    Get Fucked,
    Finn

  • Talent Spotter
    July 26, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    (McDonalds Milk Shake Fight) TB writers cover/post the uncensored video version or google it for fun.

    Ratchet madness in Las Vegas or somewhere, cute asian or Latina beaten down by Mc D’s Hefalump manager and pulls her top partially off. Small cuck men attempt to break it up, clearly a hefalump matriarchy at this Mc D’s.

    • Y
      July 27, 2018 at 10:50 am

  • ElJefe72
    July 26, 2018 at 8:22 pm

    “After McDonald’s, Dion had gone on to rack up hundreds of dollars worth of fraudulent charges at other businesses, including Cycles 128, where he spent more than $550 on equipment to “hop up” his scooter, and at GameStop, where he purchased a Sony PlayStation and several games, according to court documents. In Hamilton, at Hamilton Convenience, he used the card six times to purchase cartons of cigarettes worth nearly $200 each, court papers show. And there were other trips to McDonald’s, as well as Dunkin’ Donuts shops all around the North Shore.”

    This has to be one of the saddest commentaries on someone’s life I’ve ever read.

  • Sheriff Cousins
    July 26, 2018 at 7:10 pm

    That kid Danny Dion is from Salem and is a regular in the PC unit up in Middleton, CWB castoff.

  • Pissah
    July 26, 2018 at 6:52 pm

    Did Robert Ciampi piss his pants? Why are they wet on the bottom part in the picture where he is in the kitchen with the gray bruins outfit on.

  • vicxh
    July 26, 2018 at 6:20 pm

    When he had a black cell mate, was he pitching or catching? If he was catching bbc, then I am not sure he isn’t racist ….

    • Captain Roger R. Soundly, London Police
      July 26, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      Wot? You Yanks don’t get BBC on the prison telly… or are ye speakin’ about negro willy?

  • Yo Vinny Bada Boom
    July 26, 2018 at 6:12 pm

    Calling Lisa Genduso! We just found a place you can work at. We thinks you will fit right in there.

    KKK is all wrong you want the New KKKK, we call it special K. The one kid looks special needs you could have a slide show on his forehead.

    • vicxh
      July 26, 2018 at 6:24 pm

      Forget working there! Leigha should apply to open a restaurant with liquor license. Maybe Polito can be the guest of honor at the opening ceremony!

    • Yo Danny Short Bus Helmet
      July 26, 2018 at 11:07 pm

      Duhhhhhh……………………………………………………………………………….. duhhhhhh…………………………………..
      ……yo mush, what da fahhhhhhk……
      uhhhhh…….
      wait… what you say?

  • Nicole
    July 26, 2018 at 6:12 pm

    Danny Dion is a drug addict, loser police informant. THATS why he never does true jail time when he has been getting arrested since the age of 13. He’s litterally a piece of scum. He also makes fake “rookie” cards somehow and sells them on EBAY and Facebook to buyers for hundreds of dollars. He lives with his elderly mom in Hamilton housing where they moved to after living in Salem ma for a number of years where Danny did most of his scum bag related crimes. If you can find me even 2 people from Salem or any city for that matter that have anything to say other than this kid is probably one of the scummiest kids EVER I’ll buy you a double cheeseburger

    • Kevin Lynch
      July 26, 2018 at 6:25 pm

      Can I lie just to get the double-cheeseburger with you?

    • Trash Collector
      July 26, 2018 at 10:57 pm

      So Dion is an informant? Do you know the name of anybody he snitched on? If the guy was arrested, it’s public record. We’re gonna find out anyway. Save us the work. Names?

      • Jazooka Bo
        July 26, 2018 at 11:02 pm

        Ha ha ha, nice

  • Bob Merner
    July 26, 2018 at 5:19 pm

    Matty Machera always has been salt of the earth.  When he got the bump to wearing the robe, it was definitely a win for the good guys!!

    Keep up the good work your honor!!!

  • XXX
    July 26, 2018 at 4:51 pm

    He’s asking for it. This is too good.

  • Y
    July 26, 2018 at 4:06 pm

    Danny??

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